Crossroads
by BrittLovesSan
Summary: Santana is about to marry her girlfriend of two years but she's at a crossroads in her life about what to do. Her girlfriend is not the love of her life but she does love her so she doesn't know whether to settle for that or keep pining after the love of her life who she might never be able to work things out with.
1. Wedding Preparations

Chapter 1: Wedding Preparations

Santana's POV

Wednesday 12th July 2017

I'm getting married in a few days and to say I'm nervous would be a complete understatement. If you had told me a few years ago I'd be getting married at 22 then I wouldn't have believed you. I mean I've always wanted to get married, isn't that every girl's dream, but I never thought I'd be marrying someone right now…in fact that's a lie. I thought if I was getting married already it'd be with…you know what, never mind. The bottom line is I'm getting married to my girlfriend of two years and it's going to be ok.

"Hey Santana, are you all set for the wedding?" Rachel asks cheerily.

"Yes Berry" I say annoyed.

"Wow what's up with you?" Rachel frowns.

"Just some pre wedding nerves, nothing to worry about" my mom smiles walking into the room. She and my dad arrived in New York a few days ago to help me with wedding stuff.

"You and Dani are meant for one another so don't worry Santana" Rachel smiles. "You're going to be going away on your honeymoon on Saturday night and wonder why you worried so much."

"Yeah Rachel is right" my mom smiles while giving me a reassuring hug. "So anyway, have you packed everything you need?" she asks.

"Yeah, I think so" I nod.

We decided to have a nice romantic wedding out in the countryside and since its summer we'll be having it outside and the reception will be at the hotel after. Since it's quite a distance away from where we stay then we're all staying at the hotel for a few days before. We get married on the Saturday but Dani wanted a rehearsal dinner which we're going to hold tomorrow night and then Friday we're spending the day separately with each of our families.

"Hi" I smile at Dani as she walks into the room.

"Hey babe" Dani smiles while kissing my cheek. "Are you ready to go to the hotel?"

"Yeah, I am" I smile.

"We'll start taking a few things out to the car" my mom smiles.

"Yeah I'll help her and let you two have some time before we leave" Rachel says and goes off with my mom.

"Are you ok?" Dani asks looking at me sceptically.

"Oh yeah, I'm just a little nervous because this is a big thing" I admit.

"Yeah I know" Dani nods. "I mean just think, the next time we come back to this apartment we'll be married."

"Yeah, we will" I say nervously.

"We should probably think about getting our own place though" Dani says.

"Yeah, maybe" I say quietly. Yesterday I was all ready to get married and now it's like I'm crumbling with nerves.

"Anyway, shall we go?" Dani smiles.

"Yeah, let's go" I nod.

XXX

As soon as we got to the hotel, we got settled in and then had dinner. It was decided that it was best if Dani and I didn't share a room because we'd need to stay separately the night before the wedding anyway so it would save us from having to switch rooms in a couple of days. I ended up sharing with my sister and Dani is sharing with her best friend who also happens to be her maid of honour.

"It sucks we can't share a room but I suppose it'll be nicer on Saturday when we go away and finally get to be alone because we'll have waited a bit" Dani says.

"That's true" I agree.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?" Dani shrugs.

"Not always actually, I think being present makes the heart grow fonder" I smile.

"Well it'll still be nice on Saturday when we leave for our honeymoon and can finally be alone together again" she smiles.

"Yeah" I nod.

"Anyway I have some wedding stuff I need to take care of right now and it's a surprise for you so if you don't mind, can we just hang out later" Dani smiles.

"Yeah that's cool" I smile back.

"I'll come and get you later when I'm finished and then maybe we could do something" she says.

"That's fine, see you in a while" I say while kissing her cheek.

Just as Dani is leaving, my sister Ava walks into the room.

"Hey" my sister smiles while going over to her bed to get her phone.

"Hi" I smile back.

"Have you got any plans with Dani right now?" she asks.

"No Dani has some surprise thing for me so she's working on that right now so I'm not really doing anything" I reply.

"It's a nice night, some of us are going for a walk so do you want to come?" Ava asks.

"I don't really feel like it, I'd rather just stay here and relax" I admit.

"Ok well I'll see you when I get back" Ava nods.

"Yeah, see you" I smile and Ava leaves.

I started off just peacefully watching the TV on the sofa while texting a few of my friends that couldn't make it until Friday to come for the wedding. Once they had to get back to their busy lives, I ended up just browsing the internet but I couldn't settle doing anything because I was bored. I thought this peaceful time would let me relax and stop freaking out but it's only making me feel worse.

I want to marry Dani so bad but as soon as I woke up this morning something washed over me and I've been panicking ever since. It's like I also have this voice in my head telling me that I'm missing something and that Dani might not be the one I should marry. I mean I don't see why Dani wouldn't be the one I should marry because I love her, we've been together two years and she also gets me. We have a mutual respect for one another's passions and she's helped me get to where I am today.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts by someone banging on the door. I quickly flatten my dress and sort my hair in the mirror so I'm presentable for whoever it is and walk over to the door. As soon as I open the door, I almost collapse in shock.

"Hi baby" Brittany smiles smugly.

"Brittany…I…what…I mean how…" I don't know what to say because this is so unexpected. I never thought in a million years I'd see Brittany at my door three days before my wedding.

"Are you going to let me in?" she smiles.

"I'd rather not thank you very much" I state.

"I always loved you're stubbornness" Brittany smiles while gently pushing past me to walk into the room.

"Brittany, what are you doing here?" I ask annoyed. She can't just turn up here and act like we're friends because we're not. We haven't been anything in a long time, never mind friends.

"Oh popcorn, don't mind if I do" Brittany says taking some popcorn, completely ignoring what I just asked.

"I asked you a question Brittany" I state.

"I know and I chose to defer the answer until later" she smiles sitting down on the couch. "Hey come sit down, tell me what's going on with you."

"Um…no" I say seriously.

"Are you afraid you can't keep your hands off me?" Brittany winks.

"Not at all, my hands certainly don't want to be on you" I assure her.

"Ok, that's a little harsh" Brittany frowns.

"Sorry" I sigh. "Seriously though, what are you doing here Britt?"

"Britt, I always liked it when you called me that" she says smiling, "secretly you were the only one I liked to hear it from. I preferred it whenever everyone else would call me Brittany because Britt could just be our thing."

"Seriously, what are you doing here?" I ask while sitting next to her. "The last time we spoke you told me you were ending whatever charade we had so why are you here now?"

"Excuse me, you were the one that didn't want this" Brittany says seriously.

"It's not that I didn't want this, it was because we…look we're getting off task here. I want to know why you're here _now_ not what happened six months ago" I sigh.

"Because I wanted to see you" Brittany shrugs.

"Yes but why?" I ask getting frustrated.

"Let's just say a little birdy told me the love of my life was getting married on Saturday" Brittany smirks.

"Oh" I say surprised.

"It was nice of you to tell me yourself that you were getting married" Brittany points out.

"Brittany we're not friends, I don't have to tell you everything about my life" I state, "and furthermore I don't even have your number anyway to be able to contact you."

"Fair enough about not telling me everything and not having my number but damn Santana, getting married?" she questions.

"What's wrong with that?" I ask.

"Well for starters you didn't even propose to me properly and secondly I haven't even picked out my dress yet" Brittany replies.

"This is not a time for jokes" I shake my head.

"I'm not joking" Brittany shrugs. "I mean I can't be right, because the only person Santana Lopez is supposed to marry is me."

"Why are you torturing yourself Brittany?" I sigh. "You know we could never work so why are you here pretending this is all some charade and that we'll be together again?"

"No Santana, you said we would never work" Brittany says seriously while turning to look at me. "Everyone can see I've been the one that has wanted us to be together forever and I'm the one who has fought for us the most so don't tell me I know we would never work when I know damn well we could've."

"You have to let me go Brittany because you're ruining your life thinking we could be something when we can't. I'm getting married on Saturday so I want you to go out there and find your perfect girl" I say.

"I don't need to because she is already sitting in front of me right now and I know she loves me but she's just too scared" Brittany smiles.

"Brittany stop this" I say frustrated.

"Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop this. I will walk right out of your life forever as soon as you tell me you don't want me" Brittany says.

"Brittany, we're not doing this now" I sigh shaking my head.

"I know I can come across really full on sometimes but you never actually tell me to go away so once I actually hear you say that then I'll go" Brittany says.

"Brittany, I'm getting married on Saturday. Doesn't that say something, doesn't that tell you what you need to hear?" I ask.

"You haven't actually said those words though" she points out.

"I mean those words though" I say.

"Then say it. Let me hear those words come out of your mouth and I'll leave you forever" Brittany says and I just sigh in response. I really wasn't ready to see Brittany. "If you don't love me anymore then tell me and I'll never bother you again."

"You're just getting hurt Brittany" I say deflecting slightly. The truth is I can't admit it to Brittany because it's not true.

"Hey Santana I thought…Oh. My. God." Ava says excitedly.

"Hey honey" Brittany says running over to hug my sister.

"What are you doing here?" Ava says hugging her back.

"That's what I'd like to know" I mutter while throwing myself back on the couch in exhaustion.

"Like I told Santana, I am here because it has come to light recently that a certain smoking hot Lopez is getting married" Brittany replies.

"Oh stop, I'm not getting married Brittany" Ava smirks while gently shoving Brittany.

"She wasn't talking about you obviously" I state.

"Yeah I was talking about your sister but you're still hot" Brittany winks at Ava.

"Thanks" Ava says blushing slightly.

"So what did you want Ava because I thought you were out with the others taking a walk or something?" I ask.

"I just didn't think it was nice to leave you alone so I was coming back to spend time with you" Ava replies.

"Well she's not alone right now, she has me" Brittany smiles.

"Does that mean that I need to leave now or…?" Ava asks.

"I don't mind but I did kind of come here to talk to Santana" Brittany replies.

"I'll go then and give you two some time to talk" Ava says while leaving the room.

"So…" I say hesitantly.

"Yeah" Brittany nods.

"Look you know I hate fighting with you Brittany but what's going on here. Why are you here and what do you think is going to come out of this?" I ask.

"Six months ago you were in a hotel with me screaming my name and now you're getting married to some girl?" Brittany questions. "It just doesn't make sense, that's all."

"She's not some girl, her name is Dani and we've been together for two years" I state.

"Hold on, you were with her six months ago?" Brittany asks confused.

"Yes" I sigh.

"But you never once mentioned her" she replies.

"It didn't feel right to say anything at the time, it'd make things worse between us" I say.

"But we slept together and you didn't think to mention you were also having sex with some other chick" Brittany sighs.

"It wasn't my finest moment obviously" I admit. I am really ashamed of what I did because I had a girlfriend and I cheated on her with my ex. It wasn't just Dani I hurt, I've obviously made things ten times worse with Brittany too and I never thought our situation could get any worse.

"So how does she feel about you cheating on her with me?" Brittany asks.

"She doesn't know" I sigh.

"I thought that might be the case" Brittany nods.

"So uh…who told you about my wedding?" I ask.

"It wasn't actually anyone, I found out through social media" Brittany replies. "You haven't posted anything that signifies you're engaged but I noticed you were tagged on a post someone else put up and she called you her fiancée. Then when I went through her Instagram and twitter, she talks about a wedding to Santana Lopez so I can only imagine that's you."

"Yeah, it is" I say quietly.

"She doesn't look like your usual type, I must say" Brittany says.

"I don't have a type Brittany, I just fall in love with the person not by what colour of hair or eyes they have" I reply.

"You usually like someone a little taller, someone a little more…"

"You?" I ask cutting Brittany off.

"Yes actually" Brittany nods. "I know everything about you Santana…well except the fiancée part but anyway, I know what you like and what kind of person you are."

"Not anymore though. I'm with Dani now and I've changed. I'm not the girl you used to date and love, I'm different now" I say.

"Listen…" Brittany says taking my hand in hers. "Are you 100% sure about this?"

"Brittany, come on" I sigh, trying to avoid eye contact with her.

"Santana I know we've had our ups and downs but you marrying this girl means we'll be over officially forever. This will mean there is definitely no going back" Brittany says.

"I know" I nod.

"Are you sure that's what you actually want?" she asks.

"I…"

"Hey babe I thought I'd…who's this?" Dani says just noticing Brittany sitting next to me.

"Brittany Pierce" Brittany smiles smugly while standing up to shake Dani's hand.

"O-k" Dani says confused.

"Dani could you give us a second please?" I ask.

"Um…ok" Dani says slightly confused but slight offended at the same time.

"I'll come to your room once I'm done" I say and she nods.

"Fine, I'll see you soon" Dani says while leaving the room.

"I saw the look in her eyes, she doesn't have a clue who I am does she?" Brittany smirks.

"If you are asking if she knows you're my ex then no she does not" I reply. "It's going to stay that way as well though."

"Hmm…building a marriage on lies" Brittany smirks, "what makes you think it'll last if you do that?"

"I'm not lying to her because she knows nothing about it, I'm just withholding the truth about a few things" I say.

"Why is it that you want to hide me and our life together?" she asks.

"Because it's not relevant anymore. We're over and I'm marrying Dani so why should I still want to talk about that aspect of my life?" I ask.

"Perhaps because you still love me deep down" Brittany replies. "Maybe you should still want to talk about it because you know we're meant to be but the only reason we aren't together is because you're scared."

"I am marrying Dani, end of story Brittany" I state seriously.

"You need to…"

"I don't need to do anything you say so I suggest you leave now" I say.

"Ok I get tonight has been a bit full-on so I will go just now but I'm not leaving until I make sure you're 100% sure you're marrying the right girl" Brittany says standing up. "I've got a room on the floor above so expect to see me again" she smirks before walking to the door.

"No Brittany, you can't keep turning up here like this. We're done and you shouldn't want to be with me anyway" I say in the most confident voice I can.

"Do you still love me Santana?" Brittany asks turning around to look at me.

"Brittany…" I sigh.

"Exactly" she smirks, "see you tomorrow" she says blowing me a kiss and then leaving.

Once I take a minute to digest things, I go and find Dani. She left the door to her room propped open with a fire extinguisher so I just walked right in.

"Hey" I smile when I see her sitting on the couch.

"Hi" she says quietly.

"Sorry about that earlier babe" I smile reassuringly. At this point though I'm not sure if that's to reassure myself or to reassure Dani.

"Things looked a little intense with you guys, what was going on?" she asks.

"Nothing babe" I smile before kissing her cheek. "I need a drink, do you want one?"

"Why are you brushing that off like it was nothing. That didn't look like nothing" Dani says.

"Ok, fine" I sigh. "Look she is an old friend and we sort of didn't leave things in the best way so we were just talking."

"What was the name again?" Dani asks.

"Brittany" I reply. God even saying her name does things to me.

"Brittany? I've never heard of a Brittany before" Dani says looking puzzled. "I'm sure you've told me about all your old friends before but that name really doesn't ring a bell."

"It doesn't ring a bell because I actually haven't mentioned her to you before" I admit.

"Why not?" Dani wonders. "I mean you just said she was an old friend so for her to be friends with you then she must have meant something to you at one point."

"It's complicated, I'd rather not get into things right now" I state.

"Why do I have a feeling there is more to this situation and you're lying to me about something?" she asks.

"I don't know what you mean" I say playing dumb.

"There you go again, I can tell you're lying to me. Whatever it is Santana just please tell me right now. I don't want us to get married knowing we have secrets from one another" Dani says.

"You really want to know who she is?" I ask.

"Yes I really do" Dani nods.

"She's my ex and I've never loved anyone like her before" I admit.

"You're ex?" Dani asks shocked. "Damn Santana why the hell don't I know about her?" she shakes her head. "I told you everything about my exes and you swore to me you only had a few flings and there was never anything serious."

"Like I said a minute ago, things are complicated between Brittany and me" I sigh.

"They do sound complicated when you just said you've never loved anyone like her before. Does that 'anyone' include me?" Dani asks offended.

"I love you Dani and I'm going to marry you, doesn't that say anything to you?" I ask.

"It says a lot of things but none of the things I initially thought. I thought you said yes when I proposed because you loved me and want to be with me but maybe you said it because Bethany was unavailable so I was the next best thing" Dani says getting upset.

"Her name is Brittany and that's not true babe" I say trying to put my arm around her to comfort her.

"Don't, just not now" Dani says pushing me away.

"What do you want me to say Dani, how can I make this better?" I ask.

"I want to know everything about Brittany and your life with her" Dani says annoyed.

"What like completely everything?" I ask confused because that could take a while.

"Yeah absolutely everything from the day you met until a few minutes ago" Dani nods.

"Ok, well…"

* * *

I'm just trying out a new story so let me know what you think.


	2. New York 2013

Chapter 2: New York 2013

August 2013

One of my best friends, Rachel moved to New York recently because she got accepted into NYADA which was like her dream school. As much as I tease her all the time, I was really proud of her but another part of me wanted that. I mean it wasn't that I wanted to go to NYADA, I just wanted to go somewhere and find my dream. My other friend, Kurt unfortunately didn't get accepted into NYADA but he wasn't willing to let that ruin his chances of achieving his dreams so a few weeks later he also went to New York. That left me at home, in Ohio twiddling my thumbs and working as a waitress at Breadstix which I must say, I absolutely hated so eventually I decided to bite the bullet and move to New York too.

I don't quite know what my dream is yet but I'm hoping New York will inspire me. I've been at a crossroads in my life the whole summer so I'm really hoping things will change soon and I might be a bit clearer on my life and what I want to do with it. In the meantime though, I'm working at the Spotlight diner and constantly on the lookout for ideas. I know its waitressing and I hate that but I'd rather be waitressing in New York than Ohio.

"Hi" I sigh while throwing myself to the couch.

"Good afternoon to you too Santana" Rachel smiles.

"It's not a good afternoon Rachel, I had to basically show a customer my cleavage today in order to just get a frigging tip" I shake my head. "I mean I wouldn't usually go to all that effort but New Yorkers don't seem to tip well at all so I can use all the cash I can get."

"Rather you than me, that's all I say" Rachel states.

"So what's going on, shouldn't you be at NYADA getting prepared for the semester?" I ask.

"I've already been but I'm as prepared as I can be at the moment so I'm just waiting on classes starting next week" Rachel replies.

"Cool" I nod.

"I do want a little friendly meeting with you and Kurt later though so don't go out anywhere tonight" Rachel warns.

"Don't worry, I ain't going anywhere. I have no money" I state.

"Ok well I'm going to help my aunt with dinner but once we've eaten we'll talk, ok?" Rachel asks.

"Ok" I nod and then Rachel leaves.

The thing is, Rachel, Kurt and I are all living with Rachel's aunt, uncle and two cousins at the moment. Initially the invite was only for Rachel to crash with them because she hated the accommodation they had at NYADA. The classes hadn't even started yet but she hated it already. I mean she had to share a bathroom with a bunch of people she didn't even know and her roommate's boyfriend would constantly come over all the time so that wasn't entirely comfortable for her whenever they started fooling around right in front of her.

However when Kurt arrived in New York he didn't have a place to stay either so he ended up crashing with Rachel's family because they felt bad for leaving her friend with nowhere to go. But then when I show up, its utter chaos because not only don't I have a school to go to that could even provide crappy accommodation, I don't even have anywhere to go since I barely have any money. So basically they felt sorry for me too so now the 7 of us have been living together for a few weeks in a three bedroom place. Rachel's cousins are bunking in together and I've to share with Kurt and Rachel.

XXX

Like Rachel said, as soon as we had dinner the three of us all sat down together to talk.

"Look I love that you guys are here and everything but we can't keep staying with my aunt and uncle. It was ok for me to stay for a few weeks until I found somewhere but now that there's three of us then there's really not enough room" Rachel says.

"Where do we go though Rachel?" Kurt asks. "I mean classes start for you next week, I start an internship round about then as well and Santana is the only one working right now so we really don't have time or money to find somewhere."

"We're going to have to make time then and save up whatever money we have" Rachel states.

"How do you magically save money you don't have Rachel?" Kurt asks.

"We need to make some cut backs" Rachel states, "it's the only solution guys."

"What kind of cutbacks?" I ask.

"For instance, no one is allowed to buy any new clothes right now unless it's an emergency and it's for an audition or something" Rachel says and I nod because it's fair enough. I mean I'm hot enough anyway to rock anything so I'm ok with that.

"I don't know about that Rachel, I mean…" Kurt starts but Rachel doesn't let him finish.

"No more clothes Kurt, you have enough to get by with until we find a place to stay" Rachel states.

"Fine" Kurt huffs.

"Also no one is allowed any more overly priced take out coffee, we'll buy some from the store and make our own coffee if we want it so bad" Rachel says.

"Nah-ah, I can't agree to that, I needs my coffee in the morning. It sets me up for the whole day" I state seriously while shaking my head.

"Tough Santana" Rachel says firmly. "Unless you'd like to live on the streets then by all means buy all the overly priced coffee you want."

"Uh, fine" I say annoyed. I guess if Kurt has to make a sacrifice then I will too.

"That's it settled then, we're making some cutbacks and going apartment hunting tomorrow" Rachel smiles.

"Um…wait a second Rachel" Kurt says. "You haven't told us what you're going to sacrifice yet."

"Oh yeah, neither you have" I point out.

"Look I'll think of something" Rachel states. "Anyway I say we go apartment hunting tomorrow, no one has any plans right?"

"I'm not working" I reply.

"Yeah I haven't planned to do anything either" Kurt nods.

"Good, first thing tomorrow we're going" Rachel smiles.

* * *

Apartment hunting hasn't started as bad as we thought because Rachel's aunt's friend is an estate agent out here so last night Rachel's aunt called her friend to see if she could help us. Luckily enough when we met with the friend this morning, she had already a few places in mind for us and took us to see them.

"Ok so I thought you might be interested in this place" the estate agent, Jenni tells us as she opens the front door.

"Wow it's beautiful" Rachel says admiring the place.

"It's only got the one bathroom but there are three bedrooms which is a plus because you can all have your own space" Jenni smiles.

"I'm in love with this place already" Rachel says excitedly.

"Oh I know what you mean Rachel" Kurt agrees just as excitedly.

"What do you think Santana?" Jenni asks looking at me.

"Um…it's nice" I say hesitantly. To be honest I love it myself but I can't get too attached because there's no way we could afford this.

"Nice?" Kurt questions. "It's more than nice Santana" he states.

"Did you see the view you got from the bedrooms?" Jenni asks.

"I didn't actually" Kurt shakes his head. "Come on, let's go and take a look at the view from the bedrooms."

"Ok" Rachel says excitedly but as soon as she starts to walk I pull her back.

"We'll be there in a second" I smile.

"Santana let go of my arm please" Rachel says.

"Sorry" I apologise.

"What's wrong with you?" she asks.

"Rachel this place is way too expensive for us" I whisper so Jenni doesn't hear me.

"We could manage, don't you think?" Rachel shrugs.

"Considering I am the only one with an income right now, not that it's a lot but it's still money, I say we could never afford this in a million years" I state.

"Not even if we…"

"Not even if I agreed to pay the bulk and you two would reimburse me, no" I shake my head.

"But this place is so beautiful" Rachel smiles while admiring the place.

"Exactly, it is beautiful therefore the price is way too much" I state.

"But…"

"No buts Rachel, we're not getting this" I say firmly.

"Fine but you can be the one to break Kurt's heart. He was really set on renting this place" Rachel sighs.

"That's fine by me" I nod. I'm not going to just give in because they both like it. We really don't have the money for it so it would be silly to rent this place.

As soon as we've seen a few more places, we go back to Rachel's aunt's house. There really isn't much to discuss though because barely any of the places were in our price range and the ones that were weren't situated in the best of areas.

"So what happens now?" Rachel asks.

"Well I think we should go for that slightly more expensive one and I can ask my dad to loan us some money" Kurt replies.

"We are not loaning money from anyone" I state firmly. "Plus even if we did, the monthly rent on that place is still ridiculously high so we'd never be able to pay the loaned money back quick enough."

"We get that but we can't stay here either" Rachel sighs.

"I really don't think my dad would mind loaning us some money" Kurt says.

"Are you sure about that because look where we are just now. We're living with Rachel's aunt and uncle so why would your dad loan us money now and not a few weeks back when you had nowhere to live?" I ask.

"Fine" Kurt huffs.

"Look I know you two are mad that I feel so strongly about not renting that place but it's just too expensive. I promise I'll find us somewhere else though" I assure them.

"When?" Kurt asks.

"I'll speak to some friends at work tomorrow and see if they know of anywhere or anyone we could rent from" I say. "There's plenty of customers in the diner too so I'll see if they can be any help."

* * *

As soon as I finish my first shift at work, I rush back home to talk to Kurt and Rachel. As luck would have it, I was talking to a customer today who said they had a place to rent so I went to see it on one of my breaks and it looked ideal for us. It's maybe not the prettiest of places but it seems adequate for us.

"I did it, I did it guys" I say excitedly while throwing my jacket to the floor as I walk through the door and into the living room where Kurt and Rachel are.

"Did what?" Kurt looks up at me confused.

"I found us a place to rent just like I said I would" I smile.

"Are you serious, where?" Rachel asks.

"It's a surprise so why don't we all go there now and I'll show you" I say.

"Um…ok" Kurt says excitedly.

"You coming Rachel?" I ask.

"Yeah but this better be a good place Santana" she tells me.

XXX

"Ok I want you to close your eyes until I open the door so you can both see it for the first time together" I tell them and they nod. I then quickly open the door. "Ok you can open your eyes now" I say excitedly.

"Oh, wow" Kurt says lost for words.

"Yeah, wow" Rachel nods.

"It's perfect isn't it, I did good right?" I say triumphantly.

"Yeah it is perfect" Rachel says looking around, "perfect for a frigging animal."

"Excuse me?" I say offended.

"Santana this place is a dump, we can't stay here" Rachel sighs.

"Well we're going to have to because it's the only damn thing in our price range" I state. "Plus it might look a little neglected now but nothing a lick of paint and good dust wouldn't sort out."

"Santana kind of has a point actually. I mean it's a place all the same so that means we don't need to burden your family Rachel and it is close to where we all need to be and if we can afford it then that's better than buying something that's going to leave us in debt" Kurt says.

"Look I really want this place so I'm going to rent it but if you don't want to Rachel then fine. I mean I'm probably going to be in debt now trying to pay all this rent by myself but if there were three of us then…"

"Don't guilt trip me Santana" Rachel sighs.

"Do you know what, I'm with you Santana 100%? We'll just need to have a good clean up before we move in but it should be fine" Kurt nods. "Come on Rachel, come live with us."

"I really don't know" Rachel sighs again.

"Look Santana is the only one working right now so if she's got us this place and only needs us to pay a third of the rent each then you should really take it. You won't get a better deal elsewhere" Kurt says.

"He's right and I'm willing to pay the first rent payment all by myself until you 2 get sorted" I smile.

"Fine, I'll move in with you guys" Rachel says giving in.

"Good, now come on. Let's have a little loft hug" I say pulling them both in to hug them. "Don't get used to me hugging you guys though because it'll never happen often. This is a one-time thing."

"Ok" Rachel laughs.

After I show them around and tell them my ideas to make it seem more homely, we get ready to leave.

"Oh before we go I just want to quickly use the bathroom" Rachel says walking over to it.

"Um…ok, but I hope you have some tissues or something with you because there's no toilet roll" I say, "oh and no hand-wash."

"Good thing I came prepared then" Rachel states before going into the bathroom.

"I really appreciate you saying you'll pay the first rent payment for all of us. I mean I will get a job as soon as I know what days I'll be doing the internship" Kurt says walking over to me.

"Honestly, I don't mind. You guys are my friends and we're all struggling here so it's good to stick together" I say and Kurt smiles at me. "What?" I ask confused.

"Nothing" he shrugs.

"Tell me" I say seriously.

"I was just thinking, you really do have a heart Lopez" he smiles.

"Oh whatever" I say waving off the compliment. "Anyway I need to get back to work now, I agreed to do a double shift so my second break of the day is up now."

"That's cool, Rachel and I will just make our way back home" Kurt smiles.

"Ok no problem" I reply. "Hey if you want we could come back tomorrow and decorate this place and clean it up a little so feel free to choose some paint and stuff for the place while I'm at work."

"You know I enjoy interior designing so I might just do that" Kurt says excitedly.

"Ok good but don't get too extravagant. All the place really needs is some paint and a few things to make it comfortable. I don't want you spending money we don't have on unnecessary things" I tell him.

"But there was a really nice…"

"No Kurt" I state. "You can do that once we're settled in and have got the first rent payment out of the way."

"Ok, fine" he sighs.

"Anyway I really need to go so I'll see you later" I say waving and then leaving.

XXX

The diner is reasonably quiet now so I'm just tidying up around the counter and waiting on more customers coming in. As soon as I see two ladies sit down in one of the booths, I quickly grab my pen and paper and make my way over to them. However as I do that, my colleague comes over to me.

"I'll get this table Santana, you're due your last break" Lindsay smiles.

"No I'm almost at the table so I'll take their order and then go for my break" I state.

"But I was told to let you go for your break right now since you've agreed to do a double shift so you're well overdue a break and I was told to cover your section" Lindsay frowns.

"I know and you can cover right after I take this order now go away" I glare. I probably shouldn't be taking that attitude but I really wanted to serve this table because the blonde is kinda hot.

"Alright, calm down" Lindsay glares back before walking away.

"Hi there, what can I get you" I smile at the two ladies.

"Uh…2 coffees please and I'll just take a blueberry muffin please" the blonde replies, "and what about you Tina?"

"A doughnut for me please" Tina smiles.

"No problem" I say while quickly writing that down. "My name is Santana so if you need anything else just give me a shout" I say.

"We will, thank you" the blonde smiles.

I quickly give their order over to another colleague and then take my break. For some reason I had this instant attraction to the blonde I just served and I don't know why. I mean nothing is giving it away to suggest she's gay or anything but I just can't stop staring at her. I know it's slightly unprofessional to be staring at a customer but I can't help it. She looked so hot and then when I saw her eyes I almost melted. They were so blue and anyone could easily get lost in them.

I know it sounds creepy but I ended my break slightly prematurely because I just wanted to see the blonde again before she left. I didn't want her leaving when I was still on my break in case I missed her. I'm just sort of hovering around her table and cleaning the nearby tables when I hear her say 'excuse me'.

"Is everything ok?" I smile.

"Yeah we just wanted to get the check" the blonde replies.

"No problem, I'll get that for you right now" I smile again before quickly going over to the register and printing out their check. "There you go" I say placing the check on the table.

"Thank you" the blonde smiles.

"No problem" I smile back and then I leave so they don't think I'm harassing them to pay. A few seconds later she makes her way over to the counter where I am.

"Keep the change Santana" the blonde winks and then leaves.

"Uh, thank you" I say shouting after her. "Wow, hot and incredibly kind" I mutter, noticing how much of a tip she just gave me.

"Wow is that money all from one table?" my colleague Mark asks.

"Yeah, it was from that hot blonde out there" I say as I notice her outside getting into a cab.

"Brittany?" Mark asks.

"Is that her name, hmm nice name" I nod.

"Surely you're not talking about the blonde right out there with the skinny jeans, heels and sweater on are you?" Mark asks.

"Yeah that's who I'm talking about, what's the big deal?" I ask confused.

"She's in here all the time and she barely ever tips me" Mark sighs.

"Perhaps Santana is just better at her job than you" Emma, another waitress, says as she joins us.

"Or you just make her rather uncomfortable" I say.

"Me? I doubt that very much" Mark waves off the idea. "I'm as chilled and nice as they come, I don't make people uncomfortable."

"Uh, I beg to differ" I state.

"Yeah me too" Emma agrees.

"What do you mean?" Mark asks confused.

"You're too full on Mark" I reply. "Do you remember my first day here and what you said to me?"

"I can't remember it that well but I'm guessing I said 'hi' or something" Mark shrugs.

"No" I shake my head, "you said 'what's up hot chica, where have you been all my life' so I just glared at you and walked off."

"Oh right, yeah" Mark says laughs. "I remember now."

"You actually told me I had a nice ass the first day we met" Emma points out.

"There you go then, Brittany has probably felt uncomfortable around you. I bet you anything you said something inappropriate to her. I mean she is super-hot so I wouldn't be surprised" I say.

"Oh whatever, I have tables to serve" Mark says annoyed while walking off.

"Hey Santana, next time Brittany comes in give me a shout and I'll take her order. It's only fair I get as good a tip as you" Emma smirks.

"Oh no, if Brittany comes back she's all mine" I smirk back. "I don't share you see" I wink before walking off.

"That's not fair Lopez, I could really use a tip like that to pay my rent this month" Emma says but I just laugh. The more I think about it though, it's starting to sound inappropriate. People are going to wonder what the hell we're talking about.

* * *

It's the next day and I'm busy working in the café again when Rachel and Kurt come in and sit at the counter in front of me. They were at our new place doing some decorating and were going to swing by the diner when they were almost done to catch me up on what we still need to do.

"Hey guys, I didn't expect to see you both here already. Do you want a drink or…got to go" I say abruptly while sprinting over to the table in the corner before anyone else can. My favourite customer has just arrived and like I said before, I don't share.

"Dammit" I hear Mark curse.

"Sucks for you honey" I wink before stepping closer to the table. "Good afternoon, what can I get you?"

"Oh I'm not sure yet" Brittany smiles. "I'm waiting on a friend so could you give me a few minutes to decide and for them to get here?"

"Well…I…uh" I don't really want to leave because if I do then whenever Brittany is ready to order the others could beat me to her table.

"It's Santana right?" Brittany smiles.

"Yeah" I nod.

"Good" she smiles. "I thought it was but I wanted to make sure."

"Uh, ok" I say slightly confused.

"What I mean is that when I am ready to order, I'll call you over. I just didn't want to get your name wrong and then no one comes to take my order" she smiles.

"Well yes it is Santana so whenever you are ready, just say my name and I'll be here" I smile brightly.

"Excellent" Brittany smiles back and then I leave.

It's another 5 minutes before I see someone join Brittany at her table. I can see Mark and Emma hanging around but I'm not too worried because Brittany did say she'd call me over, not just someone, she said me. After another few minutes, I see Brittany begin to walk over.

"Santana, we're ready to order" Brittany says while approaching the counter.

"Ok do you want me to come over or shall I just take the order here?" I ask.

"I'll do that, it's your break time" Mark smiles.

"No-no, it's not my break time yet Mark. You must be mistaken" I say glaring at him before turning to smile at Brittany.

"I know what I want so even if it is your break, I won't take a moment to tell you" Brittany smiles.

"Ok so what can I get for you?" I ask.

"I will take a latte and a chicken salad sandwich please and my friend will take a glass of orange juice and the tuna salad" Brittany replies.

"No problem, we'll get that to you as soon as it's ready" I smile.

"Ok thank you" Brittany smiles before turning to walk away. As she does, she looks back at me for a moment, winks and goes back to her table.

Ok so I'm starting to get a vibe from her that she's gay because she wouldn't wink at me like this if she was straight. Plus I must say, I think she's caught me a few times looking at her and all she does is smile. Surely if she was straight she'd be creeped out by me and ask for another waitress.

"Hello, earth to Santana" Rachel says pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Shit, I completely forgot you 2 were even in here" I say shaking my head. "I have been standing here for 10 minutes and not one of you have reminded me you were here. Were you just watching me as I stood here like an idiot?"

"It was rather entertaining actually, it was like you were in your own world" Kurt laughs.

"I'm sure it was entertaining" I say rolling my eyes.

"So were my eyes deceiving me or were you totally checking out your customer?" Rachel smirks.

"She's hot isn't she?" I smile instantly at the thought of her.

"I guess she is but should you really be leering at customers, is that not a little unprofessional?" Kurt says.

"I'm not leering at her, just admiring her" I smirk.

"She looks pretty into you too actually" Rachel points out.

"She does?" I ask while instantly turning my head towards her.

"Yeah she was totally staring at you there but when you abruptly turned around she quickly looked away" Rachel replies.

"I feel like I want to talk to her, would it be too weird to go over there right now?" I ask.

"I don't think you should interrupt their lunch right now but by all means talk to her when she's finished" Kurt replies.

"Yeah, I better not disturb them" I nod in agreement.

"Anyway can we get two coffees to go?" Rachel asks.

"Sure" I nod while sorting them out some coffee.

"We just came by quickly to let you know everything was going fine and we should be finished painting tonight" Rachel says.

"Oh that's good" I nod. "I'll come and help as soon as my shift finishes."

"Cool" Kurt smiles.

"Ok so here's your coffees" I say placing them on the counter.

"Could we get them on the house?" Kurt whispers while looking around to make sure no one heard him.

"Nice try but no" I laugh.

"Come on Santana, Rachel and I have been hard at work painting all day" Kurt says.

"Yeah and I've been hard at work working all day and no one is buying me coffee" I state.

"Play your cards right and she might" Rachel smirks while gesturing with her head to Brittany.

"Very funny" I say shaking my head. "Look since my manager isn't here right now you can have it on the house but I shouldn't be doing this so don't expect me to give you freebies again" I say giving into them.

"Thank you Santana, you're the best" Kurt smiles.

"Now go before I change my mind" I smile.

"Ok, bye Santana" Rachel laughs.

"Yeah see you later" Kurt says and then they both leave.

"Hey hot blonde coming our way" Mark says walking over to me and just as I look up Brittany is approaching the counter.

"Hey, everything ok?" I smile.

"Yeah, I just wanted to quickly pay this because I need to rush off" Brittany smiles.

"Ok sure" I nod.

"I'll just use my card if that's ok, I don't have much cash on me" she smiles.

"Yeah that's cool, if you just use this reader here" I say and she nods.

"So tell me Brittany, are you single?" Mark asks as Brittany scans her card.

"I am, very single as it happens" she says looking at me and smiling.

"I'm also single too" Mark smirks. "I'm on the lookout for someone though."

"That's…lovely" Brittany states. "Hopefully you'll find someone soon then" she smiles.

"I think I just have" Marks says smirking at her again. "What do you say, do you want to go out some time?"

"I do want to go out some time" Brittany nods and suddenly I'm not smiling anymore.

"Cool so when shall we go out?" Mark asks excitedly.

"No offence but I didn't mean with you" Brittany smirks. "You're not really my type."

"Not your type, I'm everyone's type" he says conceitedly.

"Mark…" she says quietly while leaning over the counter towards him.

"Yeah?" he smiles.

"You don't happen to be a woman, do you?" Brittany whispers.

"No I definitely don't happen to be" Mark laughs embarrassingly.

"Then you're not my type" Brittany shrugs. "Anyway I need to go now but keep the change Santana" she smiles at me while placing some money in my hand.

"Uh…thank you" I smile.

* * *

I'm sort of writing this story a little differently so the next couple of chapters will detail how things got to where they are in the first chapter. I know this chapter didn't have a lot of Brittana in it but I felt it was needed to set the scene a little.


	3. Getting to know you

Chapter 3: Getting to know you

Late August 2013

Rachel, Kurt and I have been working on the apartment all day now, well they have, I was working up until 4pm and then I went to help. The painting is all done and we're almost done sorting the bedroom and putting up some curtains to divide the apartment to give two other areas that can be used as bedrooms. After much discussion, it was decided I'd get to have the bedroom and Kurt and Rachel would need to make do with the other areas.

"It's still really early, what do you say we all go out tonight and celebrate" I say. "I mean the apartment is pretty much finished and we just need to move our stuff in so we could do that tomorrow and have some fun tonight."

"I would like to get out for a change" Kurt nods.

"Let's do it then, let's let our hair down and have a good time" I say enthusiastically.

"What do you think Rachel?" Kurt asks.

"I'm not really in the mood to go out?" Rachel replies.

"Oh come on, don't you want to have some fun?" I ask.

"I do but not tonight, I'm too tired" Rachel says.

"Would you be offended if Santana and I still went out then?" Kurt asks.

"No you two go and have some fun" Rachel smiles.

"Cool, we might as well just stop where we are just now with the decorating and go back to the house and change" I say. Since we still don't have any of our stuff here then we'll probably stay with Rachel's aunt one more night tonight.

XXX

I'm just sitting at the bar causally looking around while Kurt is off dancing with some guy when I notice someone familiar out of the corner of my eye. It wasn't until I got a little closer that the person didn't just have a familiar face, I actually knew them. I nonchalantly move closer to them and take a seat next to them.

"Hey I'm Santana" I smile while holding out my hand.

"Brittany" Brittany smiles back while shaking my hand.

"Can I get you a drink?" I ask.

"Sure" Brittany nods. "I'll take the same again."

"Which is what?" I laugh.

"A martini" she smiles.

"Ok" I nod and then order us both a drink. "So tell me about yourself Brittany?"

"What do you want to know about me?" she asks.

"Anything at all" I smile.

"Ok so I'm 22, I'm a dance teacher and I've lived in New York my whole life" she smiles. "What about you Santana?"

"I'm not 22, I'm not a great dancer and I haven't lived in New York that long" I laugh. "I do however work as a waitress although I absolutely hate it."

"Are there no perks whatsoever in the job that you do?" Brittany asks as the bartender places our drinks in front of us.

"There really wasn't initially but since the other day there might be one" I smirk.

"Oh really, what's that?" she smiles.

"There was this really hot blonde that came in and now I sorta can't stop thinking about her. Do you ever get that feeling as soon as you see someone you're super into them?" I reply.

"Funnily enough I do" Brittany laughs.

"What's she like, the girl you're into?" I ask.

"Look are we going to pretend we don't know one another or shall we just get right to it?" Brittany smirks.

"Depends what you mean by right to it?" I smirk back.

"Well I think it's obvious I like you since I keep trying to flirt with you in the diner so I don't see the harm in one of us asking the other out" Brittany says.

"Yeah, me too" I smile.

"Hey do you like it here or do you want to go and get something to eat?" Brittany asks.

"I wouldn't mind getting something to eat" I smile.

"I know a really good place we can go to" she smiles while standing up. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah" I smile while following her.

We get into a cab outside and the driver takes us to our destination. Brittany quickly gets out first and then runs around to the other side and opens the door for me before helping me out of the cab.

"Thanks" I smile.

"You're welcome" she smiles back before leading us into the restaurant. "Have you been here before?"

"Nope, never" I shake my head.

"I love this place so hopefully you'll like it too" Brittany smiles.

"Yeah, hopefully" I smile back.

As soon as a waiter seats us, we look over the menu and order some drinks. Once we're satisfied on what we want to order, the waiter comes over and takes our orders. We're just sitting talking now as we wait on our food arriving.

"So where are you from Santana?" Brittany asks.

"Ohio actually" I smile. "I moved here a few weeks ago with two of my best friends. They were both coming here to live their dream of being stars and even though I don't quite know what my dream is, I wanted to come here to try and find it."

"It makes sense" Brittany nods.

"I did spend some time in Ohio working as a waitress after I graduated high school but I just hated it so much being stuck in Ohio and my friends were in New York so I just bit the bullet and came here" I tell her.

"So is working at the Spotlight Diner just temporary for you then?" she asks.

"Yeah just until I know what I want to do with my life" I say.

"So when did you graduate high school, this year?" she asks.

"I didn't actually tell you I was 18, did I?" I laugh.

"No you didn't" she smiles.

"Is that a problem because if it is then it's cool. We can just be friends" I say honestly.

"I don't see it as a problem" she smiles. "I mean I did think you were a little older, not that you look old but…anyway what I mean is I thought you were perhaps 20 or 21 but I don't mind that you're 18."

"Cool" I smile.

"So what else can you tell me about yourself?" she asks.

"Well I have two sisters, Ava is older than me and Olivia is younger. You already know where I come from and why I'm here so...um…there's not much else to say about me" I shrug.

"What about your relationship status, nothing to say about that?" she teases.

"Right, yeah" I laugh, "well I'm currently single at the moment but I kinda have my eye on someone."

"I see" Brittany nods just as the food comes over.

"This looks so good" I smile down at my plate.

"Yeah it really does" Brittany nods in agreement.

"Shall we eat then?" I ask and Brittany nods so we begin eating.

"So where were we?" she asks.

"Well I was just telling you about me but I think we've heard enough about me so let's talk about you" I smile.

"Ok" Brittany smiles back.

"You said you were 22; born and raised here; and you're a dance teacher?" I ask to clarify.

"That's right" she nods.

"Do you live alone or do you still stay with your parents?" I ask.

"No I live alone. I mean my parents don't stay that far away from me but yeah I have my own place. it's just a one bedroom place not too far away from where I work" she replies.

"Cool" I smile. "So what made you decide you wanted to be a dance teacher?"

"Well I've always loved dancing, I've been doing it since I was about three year's old" she says. "I mean my ultimate dream was to become a professional dancer but I just wasn't good enough" she admits sadly.

"Oh" I nod.

"I still loved dance though and to me I was pretty good at it so I figured I'd do teaching because at least that way I could still do what I loved, you know?" she replies.

"Yeah I completely understand that" I nod.

"I shouldn't complain though because I'm not doing too badly in life. I mean I have my own place and I have a job, what more could I need" Brittany shrugs.

"Who told you that you weren't good enough, did you just feel that way or did someone say that to you?" I ask.

"I went to a lot of auditions during and right after high school but the general consensus from everyone was that I wasn't quite up to the standard they were looking for. I was good but not good enough" Brittany replies. "I mean I took it pretty bad for a while but then I got my act together, went to college to do teacher training and here I am now as a dancer teacher" she smiles.

"I've never seen you dance Brittany but I can't imagine why anyone would turn you down" I say honestly. "I just have this feeling you're a lot better than what people think you are so I want to help you."

"Help me?" she questions, "with what?"

"Making your dream happen" I smile. "I don't know what my dream is yet but we know yours so let's work on it together and maybe I'll find mine along the way."

"Santana there is no point wasting time and energy on that for me because it'll never happen, no one wants me" she states.

"I mean I kinda want you" I smirk.

"You know what I mean" she smiles.

"Seriously though, I want to help you" I tell her. "Please let me do this."

"I'm not saying no, I'm just saying be prepared to be disappointed" Brittany shrugs.

"Hey how about we change the conversation now. I mean you probably don't want to talk about work related things right now" I say sensing this isn't a very positive topic for Brittany.

"Yeah let's change it" she smiles.

"So let's talk about the tips you give me" I smirk.

"What about them?" she asks slightly embarrassed.

"Well why were they always so generous? I mean it wasn't like just a couple of dollars you gave, it was a lot more." I ask.

"Um…so you would notice me" Brittany says embarrassed.

"I don't understand" I say confused.

"I go into that diner frequently but you never seem to come to my table. It was always that boy that seemed to take my order whereas I watched you serve just about every other customer" Brittany replies. "I mean no matter what table I was at or even if I thought it was your section you never seemed to take my order until recently."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea" I say honestly. "I literally haven't seen you until recently."

"That's what I mean so I gave you such big tips because then you'd remember me" Brittany smiles.

"Well I certainly did remember the girl with the big tips" I smile before instantly frowning. "I should really be careful how I say that, a slight issue with my enunciation could totally change that sentence."

"Yeah" Brittany laughs.

"Seriously though, I don't know how I missed you. The day I finally took your order, you were like the hottest person in there…besides me but still" I smirk.

"There's a compliment in there somewhere so I'll take it" Brittany smiles.

"Wait a second…" I say just realising something. "Did you say the male waiter always takes your orders?"

"Yeah" Brittany nods.

"Is his name Mark by any chance?" I ask and Brittany nods again. "That's why I've never seen you then. The thing is he sort of likes you so he's probably been going over to your table before anyone else has a chance."

"I think he has the message now though since I told him he wasn't really my type" Brittany says.

"Yeah" I nod in agreement.

"So tell me, were the big tips the only reason you kept serving me?" Brittany smirks.

"Well they certainly helped but believe it or not, I kept going to your table because I thought you were hot" I smile.

XXX

"So the food was nice but what do you say we get out of here now?" I ask.

"Yeah that's cool with me" Brittany nods. "Let me just pay this and then we can decide where we go next" she smiles.

"No wait let me pay half because I did eat half" I joke.

"I invited you so it's only fair I pay unless you're really desperate then you can pay" Brittany smiles.

"I'm not desperate and to be fair I could do with saving up some of my money so I'm happy for you to pay for it" I smirk.

"That's settled then" she smiles.

"I'll just get you outside if you want because I want to quickly use the bathroom first" I say.

"Yeah that's cool" she smiles. We then go in different directions and as soon as we're done we meet outside.

"So where now?" I ask.

"We could go back to my apartment if you want" Brittany suggests.

"Yeah I could do that" I smile.

"Awesome, let's go" she smiles back before waving down a cab.

The journey only takes a few minutes because Brittany doesn't actually live that far away. I think I actually know the location because I'm sure we viewed an apartment near there the other day.

"Hmm…nice apartment" I say looking around as we walk inside.

"Thank you" Brittany smiles. "So can I get you a drink?"

"Yes please but can I just get water, I'm working tomorrow" I reply.

"Yeah that's cool" she smiles. "Just take a seat and I'll be back in a moment."

"Ok" I smile and take a seat. Two seconds later Brittany comes back through.

"I just put some music on, is that ok?" she asks as she sits down next to me.

"Of course, I love music" I nod.

"That reminds me, I saw you performing in the diner one night and you were amazing" she smiles.

"Thank you" I say blushing slightly.

"So…" Brittany says hesitantly while turning to face me.

"So…" I say smiling at her.

"I had fun at dinner tonight and it was nice getting to know you" she says.

"Yeah I had fun too" I smile.

"Ok I just need to come right out and say this but I've been dying to kiss you for ages but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable by coming on too strong" Brittany admits. "Is it just me or do you feel like we have something here?"

"It's not just you" I reply. "Truth be told I've wanted to kiss you too but I didn't know what kind of pace you wanted to go at."

"Well this is the pace I want to go at" Brittany smiles before leaning in to kiss me.

"Me too then" I smile before kissing her this time. Just as I'm about to deepen the kiss Brittany interrupts.

"I'm sorry this is one of my favourite songs, let's dance to it" she says while taking my hand and pulling me up from the couch.

"Um…ok" I laugh. "Please don't let me make a fool of myself though because I've heard you're a great dancer and I'm really not" I smirk.

"Trust me, I won't do that" she smiles while taking my hand in one of hers and wrapping her free arm around my waist. "As soon as my song ends you can put a song on that you like and I could teach you to dance to it" she smiles.

"Ok" I smile back. As soon as Brittany's song ends, I put a song on that I like on Brittany's iPod.

"Oh it's a sexy song" Brittany smirks.

"Is it, I didn't even notice" I smirk back.

"Anyway you picked it so let's dance to it" she smiles while taking my hands and pulling me closer before wrapping her arms around my waist. I put my arms around her waist and we begin slowly dancing to the music.

"Do you know if you move your hands any lower they'll be on my ass" I smirk.

"Is that going to be an issue for you" she whispers in my ear.

"I guess not" I wink.

"If you feel I'm being too forward then just say. I'd hate to make you uncomfortable" Brittany says genuinely while looking into my eyes.

"You are very confident at times but I like that and I find it very sexy" I smile.

"I think you're sexy too you know" she smiles before leaning in to kiss me.

XXX

"Oh fuck Brittany…that feels so good" I moan.

"You sound so sexy when you swear" she says smiling up at me for a split second before continuing what she's doing.

"Uh…keep going" I moan again while pushing Brittany's head closer to me. "I'm almost there" I say while grabbing the sheets tightly. A few moments later, Brittany makes me cum.

"How do you feel now" she smiles while moving to lie beside me.

"Really good" I say turning a little so she can wrap her arms around me.

"I'm glad you liked it" she smiles while kissing me.

"I did which is why I don't want to say this but I kinda have to go now" I say regrettably.

"Oh, ok" Brittany says a little surprised.

"Sorry but I have a really early shift tomorrow so I need to go home and get some sleep" I say while beginning to get dressed. "I really did have fun tonight though, it's just all my things for work are at home plus my friends will be worried if I don't go home."

"Ok that's cool" Brittany says honestly.

"So I'll see you then" I say once I'm finally dressed and ready to go.

"Is there any chance we'll be able to do this again" she smiles.

"I'd definitely like to so give me a call sometime" I tell her before going over to kiss her. "Bye" I say walking to the door.

"Wait" she frowns, "I don't have your number so how can I call you?"

"Check your nightstand" I say winking before leaving.

I just make it into the cab when my phone vibrates. I quickly look at it and see I have a text.

From unknown: I found your number and the little present you left me B x

To Brittany: did you like it? ; )

From Brittany: no one has ever left me their panties before on purpose after sex

To Brittany: it was just something to remember me by until we see each other next

From Brittany: when will we see one another next?

To Brittany: well I'm working tomorrow and you know where I work so…

From Brittany: I can't actually come to the diner tomorrow, I've got plans

To Brittany: well we'll just need to keep texting until we're both free to meet up

From Brittany: ok cool

To Brittany: I should really go now though, talk to you soon x

From Brittany: ok, goodnight Santana x

* * *

A few days later

"First official day at NYADA, are you excited?" I ask Rachel as we sit and eat breakfast together on the floor of our new apartment. Since we don't have a lot of money, we've not actually got anywhere to sit at the moment.

"Yeah excited but also really nervous" she sighs.

"Why are you nervous?" I ask.

"Because what if I'm not good enough" she shrugs. "Like we all know I was the best in glee and everything but I'm actually going somewhere now where people as good as if not better than me also go."

"Yeah I guess I can see where you're coming from" I nod.

"I have wanted this for so long but now it's scaring the crap out of me" she says taking a deep breath.

"Hey why don't I tag along to one of your classes?" I suggest. "I can be there for support and your first class is a dance class anyway and I love to dance so I could get a free lesson out of it all."

"You would really do that?" Rachel asks.

"Look I know I can be a bitch sometimes but this isn't high school anymore. Being out in the world without the safety of high school is scary so if me going with you makes you feel better then I'm happy to go" I say. "Plus I would like to see what goes on at NYADA, like why is it so much better than the rest of the schools out there?"

"Ok, thank you" Rachel smiles gratefully. We quickly finish breakfast and then leave the apartment.

As soon as we arrive at the dance studio, we put our things to the side and wait for the teacher to come to start the first class. Even though I went with Rachel for support, we didn't want everyone to think she needed someone with her or she wasn't willing to mix with others if she had me so we decided to stay on opposite ends of the room. This way no one needed to know we knew each other but at the same time Rachel felt less nervous because I was in the room if she needed me for anything.

Everyone is either warming up on their own now or sitting at the side on their phones. However as soon as someone walks into the room and goes straight to the front, everyone quickly stops what they're doing and pays attention. I'm guessing now that this blonde haired woman with the sunglasses on is the teacher. She actually reminds me of someone, only her hair is tied up and she…

"Oh shit" I mutter to myself as soon as she takes the sunglasses off.

"Ok listen up everyone, we're going to get started right away but firstly let me introduce myself. I'm Miss Pierce and I'll be your dance teacher this year" Brittany says. "Ok everyone, let's take to the floor" she smiles and everyone stands around on the floor.

I on the other hand, move to the very back and try to hide my face. I think Rachel notices me acting weird because she starts mouthing words to me.

"Are you ok?" she mouths.

"Fine" I mouth back even though I'm not actually fine. I mean it's not like I don't want to see Brittany because I do, we've been texting every day since we last saw one another, it's just I don't want her thinking I lied to her.

"I want you all to start with doing some freestyle to the music until I see what level you're at and how well you can interpret music. They can be any kind of moves, hopefully good enough ones that prove you should be here and that you're good enough for my class" Brittany says. "I'll give you a couple of minutes to get into it and then I'm going to take a walk around and I'll speak to you all individually" she says while beginning to play the music.

After a few minutes, she does as she said she would and begins making her way around the room. She didn't spend a great amount of time with each person which doesn't help my situation because I was hoping to slip out the door the minute she was at the far end of the room.

In the meantime though I tried my best to ignore her and have my back to her at all times until I figured out how to get out of here before she notices me. However it doesn't actually work because a second ago I assumed she'd go to the person left of me so I turned around but she ended up going right so now there's no way I can sneak out before she comes to me. I continue facing the other way hoping she might forget I'm here but the minute she taps my shoulder I know I need to turn around.

"Ok, what's your…name" she asks, trailing off at the end once she notices it's me when I turn around.

"Uh…hi" I say nervously.

"Yeah, hi" Brittany says shocked.

"So…this is awkward right?" I say embarrassed.

"You got that right" she sighs.

"I'm sorry" I say. I'm not exactly sure why I'm apologising right now but it feels like I should.

"Look Santana…wait it's not Santana. What is your real name?" Brittany asks.

"It is Santana" I reply.

"But there's no one called Santana in my class" Brittany says confused.

"Ok so I'm kinda not supposed to be in here, in fact I don't even go to this school" I admit embarrassingly.

"I guess that makes sense then" she nods.

"Can I explain to you after class why I'm here because I don't want to cause a scene right now?" I ask and she nods again.

"Ok but I need to move on now" she says. "You're a good dancer though" she smiles and moves onto the next person.

XXX

As soon as the class ended, we went back to Brittany's office to talk.

"Can I just say I did genuinely think you were called Santana because I didn't think you'd lie at work but it was weird seeing you and knowing there was no one called Santana in my class" Brittany says.

"Yeah and I'm sorry for surprising you. In my defence though, I didn't even know you worked here. I mean you said you were a dance teacher but I had no idea that you meant at NYADA" I say.

"I probably should have said but it didn't really come up" Brittany shrugs.

"Yeah I probably should have been more clear too because even though I said I didn't know what my dream is yet, I didn't exactly say I definitely wasn't in college either" I point out.

"So why are you here?" Brittany asks.

"Remember I told you I moved here with my friends?" I start and she nods. "Well one of them goes to NYADA and she was just a bit nervous this morning so I said I'd go with her as support and since I liked dancing it made sense I'd go to your class. I mean I had nothing to do today and since I don't have a clue what my dream is then doing something I like seemed like a step in the right direction. I'm not saying I want to be a dancer but I can dance to some extent so it made sense."

"I understand that" she nods.

"I had no idea it was your class though so I'm sorry if I made things awkward" I say. "I don't want you to think I was lying to you because I wasn't. I mean if you hadn't been the teacher or even worked here, I'd have told you this story anyway about me turning up to a class I don't even do because we're sort of seeing each other so I want to tell you what I'm up to."

"Ok" she smiles. "For the record though, I didn't think you were lying, I was just really surprised to see you today and couldn't think why you'd be there if you weren't a student but I get it now."

"Good" I smile. "So you're not mad at me enough that I won't see you again, right?" I ask.

"I'm not even mad" she smiles. "I get why you're here so it's ok."

"Ok phew" I say in relief.

"Although you do need to be registered for this class and if my boss finds out I'm teaching someone that shouldn't be here then I could get fired and you could be in some serious shit" she says.

"That's ok, it was only going to be a one-time thing" I say. "As much as I had fun, I know this isn't where I'm meant to be."

"I'm being serious when I say this, if you ever were interested in dance then I could teach you sometime. Like if you think your dream could be something to do with dance then I can help you" Brittany says genuinely.

"Thanks, I'll definitely think about it" I say honestly. I doubt my dream will involve a lot of dancing but it could be something I could get into in the meantime.

"So…since you're here and everything, how about we arrange a time to see one another again" Brittany smiles.

"Ok, cool" I nod. "When are you free?"

"I'm quite busy today since it's the first day back and everything but I'm free tomorrow night" she replies.

"Yeah I am too because I'm only working in the morning" I say.

"How about we go out for dinner tomorrow night then?" she smiles.

"I can be down with that" I smile back.

"Excellent" she winks.


	4. How it all happened

Chapter 4: How it all happened

Brittany's POV

October 2013

I'm just about to start teaching a class when I notice a man, maybe in his 30's or 40's, hanging around outside the door. I've never seen him before in my life so I know he's definitely not a teacher here and I don't mean to be rude but I doubt he's a student either because of his age. I don't particularly want to start the class when he's out there so I wait five minutes to see if he'll leave. When he doesn't though, I decide to go out and speak to him.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask.

"Sorry I…uh, I heard you had some pretty good dancers in your class, mind if I stay for a while and watch?" the man asks.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude but who are you?" I ask narrowing my eyes.

"Sorry, I'm Mr Hunt" the man laughs while holding out his hand. "I was just speaking to your manager because I'm here on behalf of a new show coming up and we're looking for dancers."

"Oh" I say slightly surprised.

"Did she not tell you that I was going to come to a few of the dance classes today?" Mr Hunt asks.

"I'm afraid she didn't, no" I shake my head.

"Well I'd really like to stay and watch but I get you're a little apprehensive of me right now so would it help if I quickly went to get your manager and she can confirm who I am?" he asks.

"If you wouldn't mind" I nod.

"Ok I won't be a minute" he says while going off to my manager's office. He and my manager come back shortly later and they explain the situation to me.

"That's fine then, you can stay and watch" I smile.

"Thank you" Mr Hunt smiles back while following me into the room.

"There's definitely some talent in here so I hope you see some dancers you like" I smile.

"I hope so too" he smiles back.

Mr Hunt takes a seat at the side of the room and I then begin the class. We start with warming up and then I go on to show them a new dance that we haven't covered in class yet.

XXX

"Ok everyone, enjoy the rest of your day" I say and all the student begin leaving the class. I then walk over to Mr Hunt. "Did you see anyone you liked?" I ask.

"I did actually" Mr Hunt nods, "perhaps we could go somewhere and talk. Do you have an office?"

"I do so if you give me two seconds to sort things here first and then we can go" I say and he nods. Once I'm done we head to my office. "Just take a seat anywhere" I smile.

"Thank you" he says while sitting down while I sit across the desk from him.

"I have a few names that I think you might have liked but if you want to go ahead and tell me first then its cool" I smile.

"I'm not actually familiar with everyone's names actually" he says.

"That's ok, we actually record the class so that the next week we can see which areas needed worked on so I can just play the footage and you can tell me who you like" I say while getting the footage ready.

"Sounds good" Mr hunt smiles.

"Ok, here we go" I say while pressing play on my laptop. "That's Jessica there, what do you think about her?" I ask.

"She's actually quite good" Mr hunt nods, "and so is this girl here, who's she?"

"That's Tiffany" I reply.

"And this boy here?" he asks.

"James" I smile. "He's actually one of the most talented students I've seen."

After going through the footage from today's lesson, Mr Hunt takes a few notes and the names of a few of the students he likes. We then sit back down and discuss a bit more about today.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Mr Hunt asks.

"Sure" I nod.

"Why are you here teaching dance?" he asks.

"Dance was always my passion and I wanted to help people in creating their dream. Every time I get a student come up to me and tell me they've got a part in a show or they've landed some sort of dance gig, I'm so happy and proud of them" I reply.

"Don't you ever wish it was you though?" he asks.

"Excuse me?" I ask slightly offended.

"I don't mean to be rude and I can see you're an excellent teacher but you're still very young Brittany. Don't you wish you were the one coming up to your dance teacher thanking them for helping you get your dream?" Mr Hunt asks.

"I have my dream, I'm a dance teacher" I state.

"Brittany you're a great dancer, why would you want to settle for being a teacher?" he asks.

"Ok I'll admit my first dream was to become a professional dancer but I was never good enough so I settled for this because I couldn't not dance" I sigh.

"Thank you for being honest" he nods.

"Ok so are we done here now or do you need any more information on the students?" I ask.

"I need a little more information if that's ok" Mr Hunt replies.

"Sure" I nod. "I know you said there's only a few places left for dancers because you've been to a few schools so who would you say shone the most today?" I ask.

"Like I say Jessica, James and Tiffany were all really good but I'm not sure that it's any of them that I want" he states.

"O-k" I say confused. "Why are we here then if you don't like any of my students?"

"Because the person I want to hire for the new show is you" he smiles.

"I beg your pardon?" I ask completely shocked.

"You have more talent than anyone here, why can't you see that" Mr Hunt asks.

"Just about every dance audition I went to, everyone turned me down" I admit.

"Well I'm serious Brittany, I want you in this show and if you say yes I'll draw you up a contract right now" he states.

XXX

After a long talk with Mr Hunt, I finish up my classes for the day and then head home. I'm so excited to tell Santana about this. She's at my apartment now hanging out or whatever and then she's going to cook for us tonight. It's not that we live together or anything but I gave her my spare key a few weeks ago so that she can use my apartment whenever she needs to, whether that's to get some space from Rachel and Kurt or just to hang out with me.

"Hey baby" I say happily while throwing myself to the bed.

"Uh, hi" Santana laughs.

"I need to tell you something" I say while moving the laptop from her lap and straddling her hips.

"You sound super happy so I'm guessing its good news that you're going to tell me" she smiles.

"You think I'm a good dancer right?" I ask.

"Of course I do, you know that baby" she smiles.

"Good because I just quit my job today" I tell her.

"Wait…back up" she says in concern.

"Ok so…" I say before beginning to tell her the whole story about earlier.

"So what does this mean?" Santana asks.

"Basically I get to be one of the main dancers in the show and Mr Hunt thinks this could just be the start for me. He thinks there's plenty more dancing opportunities to come for me" I reply.

"That's fantastic, oh my god" she says pulling me into her and she hugs me tightly. "I am so proud of you baby, I really am."

"Thank you" I say hugging her back. "I think I'm finally heading where I've always dreamed of."

"You are and it can only be great things from here on" she smiles.

"They also need singers by the way" I smile as we pull out of the hug.

"I mean it depends what kind of show it is but I could tell Rachel to audition anyway" she says.

"No baby, I'm not talking about Rachel" I shake my head.

"Then who?" she asks confused.

"You honey" I lean down to kiss her.

"Me? No way could I do that" she shakes her head.

"Wouldn't it be so much fun to work together?" I ask.

"Of course it would but I work in a diner Brittany, they're not going to want me" she states.

"You're talented Santana and anyone can see that" I tell her.

"I'm really not Britt" Santana shakes her head.

"I'm not saying this because I love you, I'm saying it because it's true" I reply.

"Y-you love me?" she asks looking up at me in shock.

"Crap, I wasn't supposed to tell you yet. I had this whole romantic night planned for tomorrow and I was going to tell you for the first time then" I say shaking my head. "Honestly it wasn't supposed to come out like this, I did want…"

"It's ok" Santana smiles interrupting me.

"Um…ok" I smile back.

"I love you too by the way" she smiles.

* * *

Santana's POV

February 2014

Luckily enough, I did get a part in the show that Brittany was doing and it ran all through December and January so now we're both exploring what to do next. Brittany's birthday was just last weekend so we said we'd take some time off and as soon as that was over we'd get back to work. Even though Brittany quit her job teaching, I took some time off for the show but now I'm back at the diner in the meantime until something comes up.

"Hey you" Brittany smiles walking into the room.

"Hey" I smile back.

"Are you working tonight?" she asks.

"Yeah I am but you should come and see me" I say.

"Ok cool" she smiles. "What time do you think you'll get a break because I could swing by then and we could have dinner together?"

"It probably won't be until nearer 7 tonight" I reply.

"That's cool, I'll come by then" she smiles.

XXX

Just like Brittany said she would, she comes to the diner around 7pm. I'm not quite allowed to take my break just yet so I pour Brittany some coffee and she waits for me. As soon as I do get my break though, we sit down together and have something to eat.

"So what were you up to when I left?" I ask.

"Funny story actually" she smiles. "I went to your apartment because I couldn't find my scarf so I wondered if I left it there and luckily enough Kurt was there and let me in. I found the scarf and just as I was leaving, a friend of Kurt's arrived and we got to talking and her boss is actually looking for another dancer to be in an episode of a TV show" she says.

"Ok so does she want you then?" I ask slightly confused.

"I need to audition and it's only for one episode but it's another job right?" she says.

"It is and it's something you love so you should take it" I smile.

"The audition is in two days so here's hoping I kill it" she says excitedly.

"I am sure you will and I also happen to be off in two days if you want me to come with you" I say.

"I'd like that babe" she smiles before leaning over to kiss me.

"So what else have you been up to?" I ask.

"Well I actually had a thought about something" she says.

"Oh really, what's that?" I ask.

"I think we should go on vacation together, what do you say?" Brittany suggests.

"I mean I'd love too" I smile.

"We've been so busy recently and it'll be nice to spend some quality time together alone. I mean it was nice working together and stuff but I also like fun together, you know?" she says.

"Yeah I understand babe" I agree.

"I was thinking maybe sometime in March, would you be cool with that?" she asks.

"Yeah that suits me, the sooner the better really" I smile.

* * *

March 2014

Rachel and Kurt are both out at the moment so I'm just relaxing at home with my laptop. I'm just doing some online shopping when Brittany bursts in the door while throwing her jacket to the floor.

"I got a job offer baby" she says excitedly while jumping onto the bed.

"Hello to you too babe" I laugh.

"Sorry" she apologises while kissing me. "I just got so excited and I couldn't wait to tell you."

"So what's the job baby?" I ask.

"It's actually for a new movie. I'm only cast as a dancer so I don't really have lines but I've got plenty of screen time. I mean I know I said I wanted to branch into acting at some point but I'm just happy to get a dancing part right now" she smiles.

"Well I'm really proud of you babe" I say genuinely.

"There is a slight problem though" she points out. "It's during the time we planned to go on vacation this month."

"I guess that can't be helped" I say. I mean I'm a little sad but it's not the end of the world.

"We should totally reschedule though" Brittany states.

"Yeah we definitely should" I nod. "How about some time in June?" I ask.

"Sounds good baby" she smiles.

* * *

September 2014

After we cancelled the vacation in March, I managed to get us somewhere booked for July but right before it Brittany got another dancing thing so she couldn't make the vacation. We ended up cancelling again but I'm hoping maybe this month we could do something because we're both free in a few weeks' time.

"Hey honey, how was your day?" Brittany asks while walking into her apartment.

"It was ok" I shrug. "Work was pretty busy so I'm quite tired but other than that it was ok."

"Cool" she smiles.

"Actually I did have a thought about something today" I point out.

"Cool, what was it about?" she asks while taking a seat next to me.

"What do you say we finally go on that vacation" I smile.

"Yeah I'd love to, when?" she asks excitedly.

"I was thinking at the end of the month maybe" I say.

"Wait this month?" she asks and I nod.

"Will that be a problem?" I ask.

"Well one of my friends told me they heard something about a new show in the works and they were thinking of casting it at the end of the month. Apparently they're looking for dancers so I was kind of hoping to audition" she replies.

"Oh" I nod sadly.

"I was sort of wanting to keep the end of the month open just in case it is true" she tells me.

"That's ok, maybe next month then" I suggest.

"Yeah definitely" she smiles.

"I don't know if we'll be able to travel that far though because we have cancelled the vacation twice already and we didn't get the full deposit back" I say.

"That's ok, with me getting a few more jobs then I can just pay for most of it" she smiles.

"That's not what I want though Brittany. I want to be independent too you know" I state.

"I understand babe but it'll also be nice to go away together so it should be somewhere really nice" she says.

"You just don't get it" I mumble sadly. I don't want to reply on Brittany all the time.

* * *

December 2014

It's Christmas Eve and I'm sitting in Brittany's apartment alone. I had made dinner for the two of us but I had to put it in the trash a while ago when she didn't turn up and the food went cold. I've been trying to distract myself until she gets home but I can't because I'm so mad right now. She promised she'd be home on time and we could have a nice night together before Christmas tomorrow.

"Sorry I'm late baby" Brittany says rushing in the door.

"Are you sorry?" I ask.

"Of course I am" she frowns in confusion.

"It seems like you'd rather be anywhere else than here with me" I state.

"Honey that's not true" she says while sitting down next to me.

"It's fucking Christmas tomorrow Brittany, it shouldn't be hard for you to want to spend it with me" I say annoyed. "My family aren't even here so I thought I could at least count on you."

"I said I was really sorry babe" Brittany sighs.

"You know how hard I find the holidays when my parents can't come here. I chose to spend Christmas here in New York since I went home for Thanksgiving so the least I thought you could do was spend it with me" I state.

"Santana I am spending it with you. Rehearsals ran late so I can't change that" she sighs again.

"I know I'm not a child any more but this is the first time I'm not spending Christmas with my family and I really miss them. It'd be different if I actually had a valid reason like I have a steady job here now but I don't so I'm still floating through life wondering what to do with myself and not having my parents here makes me feel even more depressed" I say.

"Honey I am here for you. Yes I ran late but it's not quite Christmas yet and we're going to spend the whole day together tomorrow and then I'm going to Ohio with you in a few days" she tells me.

"You will actually make it to Ohio, right?" I ask.

"Of course I will, why wouldn't I?" she frowns in confusion.

"Well work things keep popping up and you're always cancelling things we have planned" I reply.

"I don't mean to babe but I promise I won't cancel going to Ohio. I know I have cancelled a few things but this is important to you so no matter what happens we're still going" she says.

"Ok" I nod.

"Why don't I make us something to eat and we can just watch a movie together" she suggests.

"That sounds good" I smile.

"Good" she smiles back before leaning in to kiss me.

* * *

March 2015

Brittany and I were just hanging out together when she got a phone call. It was about a job offer she auditioned for last week so she took the call to the other room so I'm just waiting to find out if she got it or not.

"Hey" she smiles while walking back into the room.

"Hi" I reply. "What did they say then?"

"They asked me if I want to do a 6 month tour as a backup dancer" she says excitedly.

"Oh my god, that's fantastic babe" I smile while hugging her.

"I know and I want you to go with me" she states.

"Go with you, what do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Well it starts in LA but then I travel all around for the 6 months so I want you to come with me" she says. "Won't it be fun?"

"Honey…we have to talk" I say regrettably.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"I can't just follow you around all the time and do nothing, that's not what I want" I sigh.

"I didn't mean it like that but maybe once the 6 months is over then…"

"No honey" I shake my head. "Things just aren't working anymore between us. We're at different stages in life right now and it's killing our relationship when we constantly keep arguing" I say.

"We're not arguing now" she says.

"I know but if I go with you then we probably will" I sigh. "I don't want to be just your girlfriend, I want to actually be someone and do something with my life and if I keep following you around and not getting anywhere then it's not making me happy and it's causing problems for us."

"I don't understand" Brittany sighs.

"I want to be here in New York right now and you need to be out there exploring the world and doing what you love" I tell her. "I need to try and get a career for myself and I won't if I just tag along with you all the time."

"What are you saying?" she asks slightly confused.

"I'm saying I think we need to take a break" I reply regrettably.

"But you seemed so excited for me in the beginning" she points out.

"I was and I still am but I'd feel better if it was somewhere closer like here but it's not" I reply.

"Surely we can just do long distance" she says.

"Honey, no" I shake my head.

"I want you to support me on this, please" Brittany says.

"I will support you but that can only be as a friend Brittany, we can't be together if you're just going to move to the other side of the country without a second thought" I state.

"It wasn't a second thought Santana, I had you in mind too" she states.

"But you don't really get it Brittany" I sigh.

"Come on Santana, I asked you to come with me" she sighs.

"Yes but I don't want to move across the country right now. I want to stay here and find what my dream actually is. It's all good having gigs here and there but I still haven't found what I want to do" I say.

"Ok well you stay here and like I say we'll do long distance until I'm back" she says.

"If you leave then we're over" I say. I don't mean to be as blunt but our relationship can't survive this anymore.

"Isn't that a little harsh because I'm only trying to follow my dreams like you want to do" she says.

"I know honey but my dream is not being in a relationship where we resent one another because we don't want the same thing. I can't ask you to stay because I know you want this and you can't ask me to go because I don't want to" I say.

"But I love you" Brittany says beginning to get teary.

"I know you do and I love you too but this isn't going to work" I state.

"It doesn't feel like you love me" she says through tears.

"I love you so much but I can't put myself through this" I say in tears. "You're whole life is coming together and I'm happy for you but I can't be with you right now."

"I'll be back in 6 months" she says.

"But then you'll get another amazing job and I'll still be here in New York" I say.

"Baby you don't need to stay in New York to be happy. We already know people out there love your voice and want you so come to LA with me. Take a risk and get your singing career on track" she says.

"No I have this show going on here just now and I have my job at the diner if things don't work out so I can't just go to LA for 6 months. Then when you finish you'll move somewhere else and I'll be back to square 1, I can't do that" I say.

"I won't go to LA then, I'll just continue to look for work here" she states.

"No because you'll regret this. This is a great opportunity for you and you're still young so you have to take it" I say.

"It's not a great opportunity if you're not there" she says.

"I don't want to just follow you around Brittany because I want a proper career too but I also can't do long distance because we'll never know when it'll stop" I state. "We have to stop here before things get worse baby."

* * *

July 2015

Once the show ended, I was back working in the diner full time. I mean it's good that I get to sing there too but it's not the same as being in a show because the clientele is a lot different. I don't get as recognised at the diner.

"Hey Santana" Rachel says walking over to me. She ended up getting a job here too a few months back so she could help me with the rent.

"Hey" I smile.

"I want to introduce you to someone" she says.

"Um…ok" I say slightly confused.

"This is Dani, a new waitress" Rachel says.

"Uh, hi Dani" I say politely.

"Hi" she smirks.

"She also likes girls" Rachel smiles.

"Oh that's nice but why…wait a minute" I say once I realise what's going on. "Rachel, over here right now" I say while pulling her by the arm over to the other end of the counter.

"Ouch Santana, that hurts" Rachel says while glaring at me.

"Good, I'm glad" I state.

"What is going on with you?" she asks.

"I know what you're trying to do Rachel and it's not going to work. I don't need you to set me up with Dani because I'm not looking for anyone right now" I say honestly.

"But you should be looking for someone" she states.

"Why, what's the big deal?" I shrug.

"You're young so you should be having fun, not moping around" she replies.

"Even though I broke up with Brittany, I'm still not over her" I tell Rachel. "She meant everything to me so I can't just move on this fast."

"Brittany wasn't right for you" Rachel states.

"Come on Rachel, that's a little harsh" I sigh.

"She wasn't right for you Santana, she didn't truly love you if she could just leave you like that" Rachel states.

"I was sort of in the wrong too so let's not blame everything on Brittany" I say.

"But she put you through this misery" Rachel states.

"Look Rachel just stop picking on Brittany. I am the one who ruined the relationship because ultimately I was just jealous of her. I moved here to find my dream but instead of finding it we found Brittany's and her career is taking off while mine isn't" I sigh. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm proud of everything Brittany achieves but it was also hard seeing that and knowing it wasn't happening for me.

"At least just agree to hang out with Dani then and maybe you'll realise things eventually" Rachel says.

"I don't want to lead the girl on though Rachel" I state.

"I'm sure she'll be fine with just hanging out with you. Plus you two are going to need to work together from now on so you might as well be friends" she points out.

"Fine, I'll be nice to her but I'm not getting with her" I state.

"Ok" Rachel smiles.

It turns out though, I did end up falling for her so we did start dating relatively soon after we first met. It might seem a little sudden but it felt right because we both seemed set on the same goals so I didn't see how anything could go wrong. She was happy here in New York and this is where I wanted to stay.

* * *

January 2017

"Santana Lopez, will you marry me?" Dani asks as she goes down on bended knee.

"Uh…I don't know what to say" I reply in complete shock. I never expected Dani to ask me something like this.

"Yes, hopefully" she smiles.

"I mean yeah, of course I want to marry you. I'm just so shocked right now" I say before leaning down to kiss her.

"Hey I'm really happy for you both but could I talk to you for a minute Santana" my sister asks.

"Uh, sure" I smile.

"Let's go over here" she says while pulling me over to the side.

"What's up?" I ask.

"Why did you say yes?" Ava asks.

"Because I love her and I do want to get married at some point in my life so why not with the woman I love, you know" I reply.

"But what about B…" she says nervously.

"I haven't seen Brittany in a year so why would I still think about her?" I say cutting Ava off.

"Because you just brought her up" she states.

"No you did" I say.

"I didn't say I was talking about Brittany. You cut me off but it wasn't Brittany I was going to say" she replies.

"Oh really so what were you going to say?" I ask not believing her.

"Ok fine it was Brittany but you were so quick to know that so it just proves that maybe you shouldn't make any rash decisions right now" she says.

"Look Brittany and I are never going to work because we're in completely different stages of life right now so no matter what I feel for her, it will never make things ok with us" I say.

"I know you love Dani because I can see it but marriage is a big thing honey. Do I need to remind you of the state you're in every time you see Brittany and then she has to leave again?" Ava says.

"Brittany was a big part of my life so it's sad whenever she has to leave again" I state.

"I know you still really love her Santana so you need to be sure Dani is who you want" she sighs.

"Look enough, I am engaged to Dani now and we're going to get married so let's leave it there" I say before walking off.

* * *

I promise next chapter follows straight on from chapter 1.


	5. Wedding Rehearsal

Chapter 5: Wedding Rehearsal

"So that's basically the story" I say after conveniently leaving the last two years out of it.

"So you haven't seen Brittany in over two years?" Dani asks.

"Uh…no" I lie. I feel like she's had enough to digest right now so I don't want to upset her any more by telling her I cheated on her.

"I just don't know where to go from here now Santana" she shakes her head.

"It's simple babe, we get married" I smile.

"It's not that simple Santana. You can't just tell me all this and think everything is going to be ok" she states. "You lied to me and it seems Brittany was a big part of your life so this wasn't just some white lie."

"I didn't want to hurt you" I sigh.

"Can't you see that lying to me is hurting me just the same?" she asks. "I thought I was the first proper girlfriend you had but apparently I'm not."

"If I'm being completely honest I didn't mention Brittany in the beginning because it didn't seem relevant but then the more things went on you assumed things so I didn't want to correct you" I say. "You assumed this was my first relationship and that I had never been in love before so I went along with it because you said this was your first proper relationship too. I didn't want to hurt you because you thought this was something special because it was both of our first proper relationships."

"I wasn't going to think differently about you just because you used to be in a relationship. I mean yes it was my first real relationship but I've dated plenty of girls before" she states.

"Look all I'm saying is that I didn't want to hurt you" I sigh.

"That's fair enough but I am hurt right now so I need some time to process things because not only haven't you told me about Brittany which would have been fine but she's also here to get you back so that's another thing to deal with" she points out.

"I love you Dani and I'm going to marry you so you don't need to worry about Brittany. As soon as she gets the message, she'll leave" I state.

"But when will she get the message because it doesn't look like she wants to leave anytime soon?" she asks.

"Listen to me, if I have to kick her ass to get her out of here then I will" I say.

"Wait a minute" Dani says just realising something. "You told her you wanted to take a break, you didn't explicitly say you wanted to break up forever so what if she's here because she thinks there's still a possibility?"

"She can think all she wants but it's not going to happen" I say.

"I hope not" Dani sighs.

"What do you say I rebel a little tonight and I'll stay here with you?" I smirk.

"I'd like that" she replies quietly. I can tell this isn't going to be as easy as I thought but I think she's beginning to understand my point of view about things.

"I have got plans with Rachel in the morning though so I will need to leave early and go back to my room to get showered and changed" I say.

"That's ok. I'd rather have you here tonight and leave early in the morning than not be here at all" she smiles.

"Ok" I smile back.

* * *

Thursday 13th July 2017

As soon as I left Dani's room, I went back to mine and quickly showered. I left probably thirty minutes later than I should have so I'm running slightly late. I'm only half dressed at the moment and I'm searching all over my bed to find my phone because I sat it down and now I seem to have lost it.

"Hey Santana, Rachel is at the door so shall I let her in or do you want to quickly finish getting dressed?" Ava asks while walking over to my bed.

"Yeah it's fine, just let her in" I nod. We've lived together ever since we moved here and we still do so it's not a surprise to either of us.

"Ok" she smiles before letting Rachel into the room.

"Are you all set for…evidently not" Rachel sighs as she sees I'm not quite ready yet. "Why are you not fully dressed, we agreed we'd meet at this time."

"I just slept in slightly, that's all" I shrug.

"Well just hurry up and finish please. This is our last chance to hang out before you get married so let's make it fun ok?" she asks.

"Ok" I nod. I barely get a chance to pick up my shirt, never mind put it on, before someone knocks at the door. "Could you get that Rachel, I'm not quite ready yet" I say.

"Sure" Rachel smiles before going over to the door. It's like my worst nightmare as soon as she opens the door.

"Hi" Brittany replies cheerfully.

"Miss Pierce what are you doing here?" Rachel asks shocked.

"For fuck's sake Rachel stop being an ass, her name is Brittany and we were together for almost 2 years I think you can lose the Miss Pierce" I shake my head.

"She was my teacher for a few months so she'll always be Miss Pierce" Rachel glares at me before turning to glare at Brittany. She's talking nonsense though because I've heard her say Brittany before, I think she's just trying to be smart.

"Oh I've missed you too Rachel" Brittany smirks while walking around Rachel to get into the room.

"Look what do you want Brittany?" I sigh.

"Believe it or not but I want you to do the right thing. Look if marrying Dani is what's right for you then fine, I'll go away but you have to be sure you're completely over me first" she says.

"I am over you so see you later" I smirk.

"If you're over me then why are treating me to a little show right now?" she smirks.

"Come again?" I ask confused.

"I will but you got to lose the pants first" she winks.

"Oh for god's sake Brittany" I shake my head, "and let me guess the show you're apparently getting is because I'm shirtless right now?"

"Usually you'd make me kiss you a little first but I'm down with anything so if you want to just get right to it then it's cool" she smiles.

"Just cut it out Brittany, I'm not in the mood for your shit" I say unamused.

"Ok, I'm sorry" she says genuinely.

"Rachel and I are about to go out somewhere so you need to leave now" I say.

"Isn't that Ava singing in the shower that I can hear?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah, what about it" I say not seeing her point.

"Well can't I just stay here and hang out with her?" she asks.

"I know you two get on well but that doesn't help my situation. How do you think my fiancée feels about you right now never mind how will she feel when she knows you're besties with Ava and are hanging out with her" I say.

"Ava's and my relationship is none of her business" she states.

"Brittany please don't make this any harder that it has to be. You've said what you wanted and I'm not interested so please just leave" I say getting tired of this whole situation.

"Don't you get it Santana" Brittany sighs. "You were my whole life and now I have nothing. We were so happy together and yeah sure a few things went wrong but I've never felt so unhappy before. I don't even like dancing sometimes because it reminds me of you, how sad is that?"

"Honey…" wow that has been a while since I called her that, "I'd be lying if I said I felt absolutely nothing for you because we meant a lot to each other but we both know this was never going to work. I'll always respect you and anything you do I'm always going to be so proud and happy for you but that's all it's ever going to be with us. We're not getting back together because I love Dani and I'm going to marry her."

"Exactly so off you go Miss Pierce" Rachel smirks.

"Rachel just don't please" I shake my head. It's bad enough dealing with this Brittany situation but I don't need Rachel chipping in either.

"Hey I thought I heard your voice" Ava smiles while walking over to Brittany.

"I'm just about to leave right now but don't worry I'm not going far so we should hang out soon" Brittany smiles at Ava.

"Definitely" Ava replies.

"I'll text you and if you're free we could do something fun" Brittany says.

"Awesome, I'll speak to you soon" Ava replies.

"I will be going now but make no mistake Santana, this isn't over" Brittany says looking at me before leaving.

"What an ass" Rachel shakes her head.

"You might think that but that's only because you don't understand" Ava replies. "Brittany is smarter than you think so she knows this situation isn't plain and simple. She knows Santana that there's still something between you two and she knows you feel it too otherwise she would leave you alone."

"Look she's left now so let's just get ready and do what we were supposed to do" Rachel says and I nod.

XXX

After hanging out with Rachel and some of my other friends, I went back to Dani's room to spend some time with her before the rehearsal tonight for the wedding.

"Hey babe" I smile cheerfully as I walk into her room.

"Hi" Dani replies quietly.

"Babe what's wrong?" I ask in concern.

"I got a text from Rachel not along ago and she informed me you had another visit from Brittany" she states.

"That bitch" I shake my head in annoyance.

"Who Rachel for telling me or Brittany for visiting?" she asks unhappily.

"Brittany of course" I state. Technically it was Rachel I was talking about but never mind.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take" she sighs.

"Honey I want to marry you and Brittany isn't going to change that" I say.

"I want to believe you Santana but you've kept this a secret for so long so how do I know you're not hiding anything else?" she asks.

"I'm swear baby, I'm not lying about anything else" I say.

"Ok" she says taking a deep breath. "But what about Brittany though, she doesn't seem to want to give up?"

"She just cares for me" I sigh. "I mean I was 18 when I first started dating Brittany and she was older than me so she's always been protective of me. She just wants me to be sure I'm doing what I truly want and I am" I smile.

"There's caring Santana and there's getting in the way. Right now Brittany is getting in the way because she shouldn't even be here" Dani states.

"Believe me, I've asked her to go" I sigh.

"I just don't understand why she won't take no for an answer. I mean you guys dated and then broke up, it's not like you still love her or anything" she says.

"Yeah…exactly" I say hesitantly. God why I am so confused right now. "Honey let's just get ready for the rehearsal dinner and enjoy ourselves, ok?"

"Ok, fine" she nods.

"I need to go back to my room and change but I'll see you soon" I smile.

"Yeah see you later babe" she smiles back.

By the time I got ready and met Dani downstairs, we were ready to start the rehearsal dinner. The first while went well and there were no hiccups until a certain someone showed up.

"Santana what is she doing here?" Dani asks annoyed.

"I have no idea" I shake my head. "I'll take care of it though" I say reassuringly squeezing her hand before getting up from my seat.

"Just don't make a scene though, my parents are here" Dani states.

"I won't" I smile. As soon as I reach Brittany, I grab her arm and pull her into the nearest bathroom. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I could ask you the same question Santana because that really hurts" she glares while aggressively pulling my hand off her arm.

"I didn't invite you here so what are you doing here? You know this is where my rehearsal is so explain to me why you'd suddenly need to come down here" I say annoyed.

"Do you think this is just some game for me?" she asks seriously.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"I know I've been messing around and not taking things seriously but that's only because I'm finding this whole thing too difficult" she sighs.

"For the love of god Brittany what are you talking about" I say getting frustrated.

"You just don't get it do you?" she shakes her head.

"You're talking in riddles and it's driving me crazy" I state.

"I love you Santana and it's tearing me apart thinking of you getting married to someone else. I get why you broke up with me but you're pretending like you don't love me" she says.

"I'm not pretending, it's the truth" I say getting tired of this charade.

"No Santana, we broke up because of work not because we fell out of love" she states.

"That's right but we're not in love anymore and I'm going to marry Dani. You really need to get that into your head" I sigh.

"You're not thinking of the severity of this Santana. If you are married we can never see each other again. No hook-ups in hotels; no occasionally emailing and no contact whatsoever" she says.

"That's cool with me" I shrug.

"Do you care about me at all?" she asks sadly.

"Of course I care about you" I say as if it's obvious. "You were a big part of my life Brittany so I'm not going to just forget about it but just because I care about you does not mean I'm not going to marry Dani."

"I don't believe you" she shakes her head.

"Why not?" I sigh in frustration. "Seriously why are you doing all this?"

"Santana you know me and you know I wouldn't carry on like this if it wasn't important. Forget how obnoxious I was yesterday and really think about things. Would I really act like a fucking ass if I thought you were doing the right thing?" she asks.

"Well you were being extra annoying I must admit" I point out. "It doesn't mean I think differently about the situation though. You were and still are way out of line and I am going to marry Dani on Saturday."

"I am only doing it because I still love you Santana and you must feel something for me too especially if we saw one another 7 months ago" she says.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings Brittany but this has to stop and you need to keep your nose out of my business. I'll never forget you or what we had but we're 100% over" I reply.

"But Santana don't…"

"What the hell is going on in here?" Dani asks walking into the bathroom. "You have been in here for a really long time Santana and it's kinda important you're there at the wedding rehearsal since you're one of the brides."

"I'm sorry, I'll be right there just give us a minute" I smile.

"I'm not giving you any more time with her alone. I don't even know why she's here but this whole thing is ridiculous. I mean she's your ex and we're about to get married so she really doesn't have a place here" Dani states.

"Look I just want you to know that if you're 100% sure Santana that you want to marry Dani and know exactly what you're doing. If you are then I respect that and I won't ever bother you two again" Brittany says genuinely.

"Yes she's sure" Dani states.

"Can I hear it from Santana please?" Brittany asks.

"Yes I'm sure" I nod.

"Ok well I'm ok with that" Brittany shrugs. "Just promise me something Santana, don't make the same mistakes we did, ok?"

"I don't intend to do anything wrong. Dani and I are for keeps, isn't that right?" I smile at Dani.

"Yeah" she smiles back.

"I want to ask one last thing and please hear me out before you dismiss me" Brittany says.

"Ok fine" I nod.

"I promise I won't cause any bother but please can I stay. You're one of the most important people I've ever had in my life and I'll be leaving soon so I just want to spend these last few moments with you" she says.

"Brittany, I don't know if that's a good idea" Dani shakes her head.

"I get you don't like me but Santana marrying you means I can never see her again and I don't want it to end this way. We've had too many shitty endings every time we said goodbye so can we please just have this one good ending because I promise you, you'll both never see me again" Brittany says.

"I know I have a cheek asking but if Brittany says we'll never see each other again then I wouldn't mind seeing her one last time" I say.

"I really don't like this idea" Dani shakes her head.

"I will promise to never bother you two again, honestly. I just can't leave when Santana and I aren't on good terms and I especially don't want to miss the happiest day of Santana's life because I know how much she's always dreamed of getting married" Brittany says sadly.

"Do you know what, I don't care anymore" Dani sighs. "I don't understand this situation one bit so do what you both want but if she puts so much as one foot wrong Santana then the wedding doesn't happen" she says seriously.

"Thank you" I smile.

"I'm going back out there so are you coming?" Dani asks.

"Yeah in one second, I promise" I smile again.

"Ok" Dani nods and leaves.

"I want you to stay but if you ruin things for me then I'll never forgive you" I state.

"I promise you that I won't" Brittany smiles.

"Thank you" I smile back. "Why do you want to come to my wedding though?" I ask curiously.

"I figured that if I can't get to marry you then I at least want to come to your wedding" Brittany says. "I want to see you in your wedding dress looking as beautiful as ever, even if that's not to me" she sighs.

"Brittany don't do this" I shake my head.

"I'm being serious Santana" she says beginning to get teary. "I accept the fact now that you don't want to marry me or even be with me."

"Oh Brittany" I sigh before going over to hug her. "Why are you torturing yourself like this, you know you and I wouldn't work."

"I can't help the way I feel about you Santana" she replies.

"You deserved to be with someone better than me though" I point out.

"Santana I don't…"

"Brittany we're not doing this again. I said you can come to the wedding so either come and be happy for me or leave right now" I say.

"I'm sorry, I want to come to your wedding so thank you" she smiles while pulling out of the hug.

"I need to go back out there but please don't think I don't care about you because I do. I'll always care about you Brittany but that doesn't mean things can change with us" I tell her.

"I know" she nods. "Anyway you go ahead, I just want to fix my makeup first."

"Ok" I smile and then leave.

XXX

"What the hell are you doing Santana?" Rachel asks while briskly walking over to me.

"Getting another glass of wine because we want to keep all the champagne for the actual wedding, is that a problem?" I ask confused.

"Not the wine, I'm talking about Brittany" she states.

"What about her?" I ask.

"Care to tell me why she's sitting with your sister making jokes as if she's invited to this wedding?" Rachel asks.

"Maybe because she is invited to the wedding" I mumble.

"I'm sorry, say that again?" Rachel asks narrowing her eyes.

"She seemed really genuine Rachel and she promised this would be the last time we saw each other. She just didn't want us to end on a bad note" I reply.

"She could just apologise and leave, she didn't need to stay" Rachel states.

"You don't understand my situation Rachel so just leave it" I say. "I know what I'm doing so stay out of it ok?"

"Ok" Rachel nods.

"I don't really feel like dancing right now but everyone else is so you should go and join them" I tell her.

"Kurt has been asking me to dance with him for a while now so I might as well" Rachel shrugs and then walks over to the dancefloor to find Kurt. I then go back to my table and sit down next to Dani.

"Everything ok?" she asks.

"Of course" I smile.

"So why have you got yourself a drink and not me?" she asks.

"Oh shoot, Rachel distracted me" I sigh. "I'll go and get you a drink right now" I say just about to get up from my seat.

"It's fine, I'll get it" Dani says standing up. "I want to stretch my legs anyway" she says while leaning down to kiss me before leaving.

"I notice Brittany is still here, what's going on?" my mom asks.

"Not now mom, I don't want a lecture ok" I shake my head.

"Honey I wasn't going to give you a lecture" she says moving to sit in a seat closer to me. "I just want to know what's going on, that's all."

"Well Brittany's staying for the wedding because as soon as I'm married we've agreed to no longer have any contact with one another" I reply. "I know she did this all out of love for me and I get it so I don't want to just turn her away because she was a big part of my life. I can't just pretend it didn't happen so we want to officially end things on a happy note."

"It might be a happy for you but I can't imagine Brittany would be happy right now" my mom says.

"I know it seems weird but she said she wants to see me happy. I guess she just needs that proof before she can fully accept we're over" I reply.

"I don't want to get you annoyed by saying this but do you really think you can both stay away from one another forever. I mean Ava is planning a vacation with Brittany and some other friends so with Ava being so friendly with her then are you sure you're never going to bump into one another from time to time" my mom says.

"Look we'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it but for right now the best thing is to end things properly and on good terms" I say.

"Ok fine" my mom nods.

"Hey what are you two talking about?" Dani asks while sitting back down.

"Oh just my dress but we're going to stop now because I don't want you to have any idea what I'll look like in it" I smile.

"Yeah I want a surprise on Saturday" she smiles back.

We drift into a silence for a few minutes just watching everyone around us having fun. It's not so much a rehearsal anymore, it's more just a gathering for family and friends now to have fun.

"Honey" Dani says grabbing my attention.

"Yeah" I turn to smile at her.

"Why do you keep staring over at the other table?" she asks.

"Uh…" I don't know what to say because Brittany was just at the other table a second ago and I don't want Dani to think I was staring at her.

"Were you keeping an eye on Ava again in case she drinks too much and embarrasses us?" she asks.

"Yep, that's exactly what I was doing" I nod. "In fact I probably should go over and make sure she's doing alright" I say while standing up.

"Ok" Dani shrugs. "I'm just going to hang out with some of my friends anyway" she smiles and then we both leave in different directions.

"Hey" Ava smiles as I approach her.

"Hey" I smile back.

"She's an amazing dancer isn't she?" Ava smiles over at the dancefloor.

"I mean I love Dani but she's a better singer than dancer I would say" I admit. "Plus she's only just went onto the floor with her friends so she hasn't really warmed up yet."

"I wasn't talking about Dani, I was talking about the hot blonde you keep staring at who also happens to go by the name of Brittany" Ava smirks.

"I'm not staring at Brittany" I reply annoyed.

"Look I understand Brittany's reasons for being here and why she wants to be at the wedding but I don't understand why you'd want her here if you're so sure you don't feel anything for her anymore" Ava says.

"I may not be in love with her anymore but she still means a great deal to me" I say. "Plus I feel better whenever Brittany's around as much as it pains me to say it."

"Are you sure you're ready to let her go then if you feel better when she's around?" Ava asks.

"I have to because she feels it's for the best" I reply.

"That doesn't exactly tell me that you want to let her go" Ava points out.

"I guess I always thought Brittany would be in my life in some way because every so often we always run into each other or send the occasional email" I say. "Now that she wants to end this completely then it doesn't exactly make me feel good."

"Why are you fighting this Santana?" Ava sighs and shakes her head. "You know you've never felt the same way about anyone as you have Brittany."

"Ok yes I'd really like it if Brittany stayed in my life because she's always been the only person who really gets me and…"

"Stop talking" Ava says abruptly.

"No it's fine, don't stop on my account, I'd love to hear more" Dani says causing me to twist around quickly.

"How long…"

"How long have I been standing here?" Dani asks, "Is that what you're going to say?"

"I can tell you're starting to get mad and I may have upset you slightly but please don't jump the gun here. I was just going to say that…"

"Save it" Dani says cutting me off again. "We are not doing this here so let's wrap this thing up and then you and I need to talk, again" she shakes her head in annoyance.


	6. You're messed up

Chapter 6: You're messed up

As soon as we wrapped up the wedding rehearsal, true to her word, Dani wanted us to talk so we went back to her room. Dani sat in silence for the first few minutes so I figured she probably expected me to start talking so I took a deep breath before trying to explain.

"Honey I didn't quite mean what I said down there. Brittany was the only person who got me until I met you is what I meant" I say.

"Don't lie Santana. I'm really not that dumb so don't pretend I've misinterpreted things when we both know damn well that I haven't" she states unamused.

"What Brittany and I had was complicated and that's mostly the reason I never told you about her in the beginning. I didn't want to hurt your feelings but at the end of the day if I'm totally honest then she meant a lot more to me than I let on" I admit.

"It's ok to have an ex Santana so I don't expect anything different but what really gets to me right now is all the lying" Dani says. "All you have to do is tell me and I'll understand but the way you have lied about it all doesn't make any sense."

"Like I have said multiple times, I didn't want to hurt you because you thought you were my first proper girlfriend" I state.

"I'm really not that weak though. I thought it was cute but I wasn't going to throw a tantrum if it turned out that I wasn't your first proper relationship" she replies.

"Look it was bad judgment on my part but please can we just move past this?" I ask.

"Not yet because I still believe there are things you haven't been telling me. I still don't think everything is adding up properly because no one would hide an entire relationship if it really wasn't that big a deal like you say" Dani sighs.

"What isn't adding up?" I ask starting to get frustrated that we keep needing to go over this situation.

"Well you said you haven't seen Brittany in over two years' and you say the last time was when you broke up, right?" she asks.

"That's right" I nod.

"Ok so what did Brittany mean by that you've had too many shitty goodbyes?" she asks.

"Well just that when we left things it never ended well" I reply.

"But she said goodbyes as in plural and you just said you only ever said goodbye once" Dani says raising an eyebrow.

"It was just a slip of the tongue probably because it was only one goodbye" I reply.

"That's funny actually because I asked your sister if she felt you and Brittany didn't end well and she said yes. Then she proceeded to say a few things and she said the exact same thing as Brittany by using the word goodbyes and not goodbye. Do you really think she also slipped up?" she questions.

"Well…uh" oh shit I completely messed up there.

"You're lying to me aren't you?" Dani shakes her head in disgust.

"Ok so we did see one another since the break-up" I sigh. "But we just argued the same as the last time we saw one another so it doesn't really matter how many times because it never ended well."

"It does matter because you just lied to me. I asked you point blank two seconds ago and you frigging lied right to my face" she replies angrily.

"The reason I lied is because I knew this would happen. We are about to get married so I didn't want anything to get in the way again. I would have told you the truth but I was afraid you'd put the wedding off and I don't want that" I say honestly.

"So a wedding is more important to you than being truthful?" she questions.

"You're twisting my words because that's not what I meant. I just love you so much and want to marry you so I didn't want to ruin this for you" I say while trying to take her hand but she just pushes mine away.

"You're digging a very big hole for yourself Santana and it's getting worse and worse" she states. "I don't want to go into a marriage where we lie so I am going to need to know everything before it."

"There's really not a lot left to tell and it's honestly nothing important" I assure her.

"But there's more to the story though?" she asks.

"Yeah" I nod.

"Let me guess each time you saw one another again you professed how much you loved one another, had sex and then fought the next day because you still couldn't work out how things were going to work?" she asks.

"In a nutshell that is pretty much how things played" I admit. "Obviously now that I'm with you then that's never going to happen again though."

"I should hope not" Dani states.

"Honey…" I can't finish my sentence since Dani interrupts me.

"Look let's not talk anymore right now because it's late and we've both had a bit to drink so we'll talk again tomorrow, ok?" Dani suggests.

"Ok fine" I shrug.

"It's best if you go back to your own room just now. Just come by my room about 10 tomorrow, ok?" she replies.

"Ok" I nod before leaving.

I do know I'm not being truthful to Dani but I just can't lose her. Brittany and I would never work together because we want different things so now that I have a chance to be happy with someone then I don't want to ruin it. I've made my fair share of shitty mistakes in the past so I just want to have a happy ending and I know I can do that with Dani. I know I'm coming across selfish but I'm not just doing it to be happy. I'm doing it because I know Dani loves me too and I don't want to hurt her which will happen if she knows the truth.

* * *

Friday 14th July 2017

As soon as it hit 10am, I went along to Dani's room and knocked on the door. She hadn't left it propped open for me so I had to wait a few minutes before she opened it. As soon as she let me inside, we went and sat down on the couch to talk.

"You know I love you, right?" I ask.

"I thought I did but I have been questioning it lately" she sighs in response. "I don't want to make a big deal of everything but it just seems you keep withholding things each time we talk so there's got to be a reason as to why you just never fully answer anything."

"Dani, I do love you" I assure her.

"Look this isn't really what we're meant to be talking about right now so let's move on" she says.

"Ok sure" I nod in agreement.

"I want to hear everything I don't know yet before tomorrow" she states. "I cannot have any more lies Santana; that is not an ok thing to do going into a marriage."

"Ok" I sigh. "I'll tell you the rest."

"Good" she nods while getting comfortable so she can listen to me.

I begin at the very first thing that I had left out before which was two months after Brittany and I broke up, she came to see me. I was at home in Ohio visiting my parents when Brittany had a show nearby so she swung by. I was mad at first but I was still not over her so we hooked up and things ended up in a tearful goodbye.

Before I even get a chance to move onto the next time we saw each other, Dani is interrupting me to ask me something.

"Do you still love her?" Dani asks looking at me.

"Well…I mean…she's Brittany you know" I say.

"No I don't know Santana" Dani shakes her head. "You've just told me more of the story of you two and it's like I was listening to a different person."

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"The way you are when you talk about her is so different. I can see it in your eyes that you light up every time you mention her name" she says.

"That's not true Dani" I shake my head. "I care about her but I don't light up every time we talk about her or anything like that."

"Just tell me, do you love Brittany?" Dani asks getting frustrated.

"Dani, come on" I say still shaking my head.

"If you really care for me then you'll be honest right now" she states, looking me straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry, I…" I say beginning to get teary.

"Just tell me" Dani states.

"Yes" I sigh, "yes I'm still in love with Brittany."

"Finally the actual truth comes out and we stop jumping around it" Dani says beginning to clap her hands.

"I really didn't want to hurt you Dani" I say honestly. "It doesn't mean that I don't love you though because I really do" I say desperately trying to reassure her.

"We weren't even meant to spend today together, it was supposed to be each of us spending alone time with our families so if I hadn't asked you to come here this morning to talk you weren't going to tell me any of this were you?" she asks.

"Babe I just didn't want to upset you" I plead.

"Do you know what Santana, you're so fucking messed up" Dani shakes her head.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask annoyed.

"You've been lying to me, your friends, yourself and most probably Brittany" she replies.

"What exactly have I been lying about?" I ask.

"A lot of things actually but the most important one which is how you truly feel about Brittany" Dani replies.

"Just because I said I love her doesn't mean I would ever act on it" I state. "Plus love is a strong word so perhaps it wasn't the best answer I gave there."

"No that's probably been the best answer you've gave all week" she says seriously. "At least now I actually know that I'm not going completely insane."

XXX

"We can't get married tomorrow, we need to postpone this wedding" Dani says breaking the silence between us.

"No I don't want to do that, I want to marry you" I say desperately.

"We can still get married but it can't be right now because I think you need to work on some things first, don't you think?" she asks.

"Maybe but I really don't want to lose you Dani, I love you so much" I say.

"You won't lose me Santana as long as you are truthful from now on and that you work on a few things first. Like I say we can still get married but just not tomorrow" she smiles.

"Ok" I smile back. I have put her through a lot so I can wait. Just knowing we're ok now is good enough for me.

"I'd like to ask you one question though" she says hesitantly, "but I want no lies, you have to answer truthfully."

"Ok" I nod eagerly.

"When Brittany came back to town a couple of times after we had started dating, you never cheated on me, right?" she says.

"Babe…I…"

"No sorry, of course you wouldn't actually do that" she shakes her head. "I should have never asked you that because it's not fair. You've made a few mistakes but you're not an adulterer" she smiles before leaning in to kiss me.

"Dani, I'm sorry" I say starting to get a little teary again while pulling away from her.

"No…no you're not about to admit it, please tell me you're not" she says shaking her head, beginning to get upset.

"I did cheat on you and it wasn't just once" I admit while bursting into tears. I know I have a cheek being upset right now but seeing the look on her face knowing I made her that upset just about breaks my heart.

"I have done nothing but love you and be the best girlfriend I could ever be and you do this to me?" she questions upset.

"It wasn't because of you I did it, it was because of Brittany. She did things to me and I couldn't control myself around them" I admit.

"You should have been honest with me Santana at the time, really do you not even think you owed me that?" she asks.

"I do but I didn't want to lose you" I say honestly.

"Santana you were bound to lose me the second time you did it. I mean I don't condone cheating but I may have understood eventually after the first time but the minute you did it again should have rang alarm bells" she states. "You can't honestly think it was a good idea to repeat what you did to me. Did you not even care about me?"

"I do care about you but I'm telling you, Brittany is like a drug to me. I can't resist her as much as I really want to" I sigh. "As soon as we got engaged though nothing ever happened after that."

"You can't honestly think you love and care for me when you can just jump into bed with an ex. If you really did feel anything for me, you'd tell Brittany about me but you didn't" she says, "and before you lie, Ava told me that you never once mentioned me to Brittany and she only found out about the wedding through social media."

"Wow, isn't Ava just a little chatterbox this weather" I shake my head.

"I'm glad she was actually because I was getting nowhere asking you myself" Dani says before shaking her head, "anyway that's not the point right now."

"Look I don't know how to tell you how sorry I really am" I say at a loss. I've hurt her so bad and now I don't know how to make things up to her.

"You don't need to say anything anymore because not only is this wedding over Santana but we're over" Dani states angrily.

"Wait what do you mean?" I ask panicked.

"I mean what I say, we're over" she shrugs.

"Surely I can make it up to you. I mean I know you'll need time but we're meant to be together" I tell her.

"We're not anymore and I realise that now" she says. "You and Brittany are meant to be together."

"That's not true" I state.

"I can see it in her eyes that she's still madly in love with you and she's never going to give up on you" she replies. "That and the fact you could cheat with her on multiple occasions should really tell you something Santana."

"That's great for her if she still likes me but I don't feel like that about Brittany. I feel like that about you" I say honestly. "I may still love her a little but I'm in love with you."

"You cheated on me Santana, what makes you think I'm going to believe anything else you say?" she asks.

"Please just don't do this Dani, I don't want to lose you" I plead.

"Santana I can't be with you knowing what you've done. I may have eventually got over the lies and things but cheating is on another level and I can't be with someone who can cheat on me" Dani states.

"So we're really over?" I ask.

"Yeah, we really are" Dani nods. I know I can't blame her after what I've done but it doesn't mean I'm not still hurt too.

XXX

"Hey honey, Brittany and I were just hanging out if you want to join us" Ava smiles as I walk into my hotel room.

"I don't thank you very much" I state.

"What's wrong, you seem angry about something" Brittany says walking over to me.

"I am angry actually so well done for guessing" I snap.

"Come on, that wasn't needed Santana. Brittany just wanted to make sure you were ok" Ava points out.

"Well I'm not ok so can you both please leave me alone?" I ask, tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

"Santana, what's wrong?" Brittany asks worriedly while pulling me into a hug.

"Dani found out the truth about us and she not only cancelled tomorrow but she broke up with me and never wants to see me again" I say sobbing into Brittany's shoulder.

"Oh god honey" she says squeezing me tighter to comfort me.

"I know what I did was wrong but you and I both kinda resolved things last night so you were happy to let me go and I really love Dani so I don't see why should had to be so rash" I say.

"Cheating is never something you can just forgive" Ava points out. "I know this isn't what you want to hear but a lot of people never actually forgive it so if you really still love her then you need to give her time."

"I really never meant to hurt her like this" I say.

"We know that but it doesn't change what happened, you do need to give her time to think and then maybe you can speak to her again" Ava replies.

* * *

Saturday 15th July 2017

It's supposed to be my wedding day today but it's not since Dani wanted to cancel it so I'm basically just sitting in my hotel room moping around feeling sorry for myself. I know Ava told me to give Dani some time but I think I need to speak to her before we leave today. Just as I'm getting myself ready, someone knocks at the door so I rush over to open it hoping it might be Dani.

"Oh it's you" I say disappointedly when I see it's Brittany at the door.

"Sorry to disappoint you but I'm here to see Ava" she replies.

"Ava isn't here right now. She went downstairs to order some breakfast" I tell her.

"Well she told me to meet her this morning so can I come in and wait?" Brittany asks.

"Sure" I nod before moving out of the way to let her inside.

"Thanks" she smiles as she walks in.

"So what are you and Ava up to then?" I ask while beginning to get ready again.

"Nothing exciting, I just needed her opinion on a few things" she replies.

"Cool" I shrug. It was a little vague of a response so I didn't want to push it anymore in case she didn't want to talk about it.

"Santana I just want you to know that I'm not going to cause you any trouble now that you and Dani are going through a rough patch" she tells me.

"Ok, thank you" I reply.

"I realise now the severity of all of this so you can trust me Santana. I am not going to ruin things with you and Dani. I can see you don't want me so I'm not staying to win you back. I am staying because I actually have some business to attend to here and I also want to make sure you're ok" Brittany says and I can tell she's genuine.

"I know and for what it's worth, I'm glad you're here because you know how to calm me down and right now I need to be calm if my plan is going to work to get Dani to see how much she means to me" I reply.

"Oh have you got a plan to win her back?" Brittany asks.

"Yeah I mean I haven't thought it out properly but I roughly know what I could do" I say. "I get even more nervous when I overthink things so I'm just going to go to her room and tell her the truth and how much she really means to me."

"I guess that's all you really can do" Brittany nods.

"I'm worried though that she might just slam the door in my face and not want to talk to me" I admit.

"You'll just need to talk through the door then and hope she listens" Brittany replies.

"I suppose" I nod.

"Look why don't I walk you to her room to give you some support but once we get there and I'll go and hide" Brittany offers.

"What about Ava?" I ask.

"It doesn't seem like she's coming back any time soon but if she does then she'll just need to wait for me" she replies.

"Well if you don't mind walking me then I'd like that because I like I say I'll overthink things if I'm nervous and that's going to happen if I'm alone in my own thoughts" I say.

"Do you want to go now then?" she asks.

"Yeah" I nod.

XXX

Once I knocked on Dani's door, she actually did open it and hear me out to begin with. She didn't let me go inside but at least she was giving me to the chance to talk. I'm still talking just now but I can see her attention has somewhat shifted to somewhere behind me.

"What are you looking at?" I ask getting distracted by her looking elsewhere.

"Do you know you might have convinced me eventually but now that I see _her_ hovering around in the background I know there's no chance of a reconciliation between us" Dani states while shaking her head. Shit she has obviously seen Brittany and thinks something is going on.

"No she's just here in the hotel still to attend to some business and she really does want to help me get you back" I say honestly.

"Is that what she told you because it looks like the business she needs to attend to is getting you back?" she asks. "Not once have I saw Brittany leave this hotel so what exactly is she attending to when she's sunbathing out by the pool?"

"Well…uh…" I don't know what to say.

"Open your eyes Santana and see that she wants you back" she says before closing the door in my face.

I am actually beginning to think Brittany set me up to fail with Dani. She says she's not interested in me anymore and wishes me the best so what is she actually doing here. She is the one who suggested walking me to Dani's room and now look, Dani saw her. Dani also has a point when she says she hasn't actually left the hotel that we know of so maybe there is no business to sort out.

"Thanks a lot" I glare at Brittany while promptly walking past her.

"How did it go?" she asks while quickly following me along the corridor.

"It didn't go because she saw you lingering around so refused to hear me out properly so thank you for that" I say annoyed.

"Oh I'm sorry, I tried to hide as best I could" Brittany states. "Look just don't take no for an answer anyway because we figured it might not work so try again later."

"I think it's best you leave me alone" I glare at her before closing the door to my room before she can follow me inside.

"Santana come on, open up" she says knocking on the door.

"I don't want to talk to you right now Brittany…or any other time" I say mumbling the last part.

"Fine" she says after a second and then I hear her footsteps fade.

"What's going on, I thought Brittany was helping you devise a plan to get Dani to talk to you?" Ava asks walking out of the bathroom. I'm guess she just came out of the shower because all she is wearing is a towel. "She texted me that she'll just come by this afternoon to talk to me instead of just now since she was helping you so where is she?"

"So did I think she was helping until I realised she played me" I state.

"Wait what?" Ava frowns in confusion.

"It doesn't matter right now, I just want to lie down" I say while walking over to my bed and crawling under the covers. I know I love Brittany but I can't put myself through what happened before and she knows that so I don't know why she'd still try to get back with me.

* * *

I know things haven't moved forward just yet but I couldn't just skim over Dani and Santana breaking up. The next chapter will definitely get things moving and there'll be more Brittana.


	7. I blame you

Chapter 7: I blame you

Brittany is hanging out with Ava right now in my hotel room so I'm still not in the best of moods. I still don't know her angle in this situation so it's really pissing me off. I'd love to go home and forget all about her coming back but I can't leave the hotel until all the wedding stuff is sorted. You don't realise how much stuff you have planned for a wedding until it comes to actually cancelling it.

"So are you ready to go downstairs and help me?" Brittany asks looking at Ava.

"Just about, I just want to quickly use the bathroom first" Ava replies.

"Ok cool" Brittany smiles at Ava.

"I will only be two seconds, I promise" Ava says before quickly going to the bathroom.

A silence fills the room but I just have this awful feeling Brittany is going to try and talk to me. I'm trying my best to not look over at her so I don't encourage her to come over but knowing Brittany she probably will anyway. I'm proven right two seconds later when I see Brittany move out of the corner of my eye.

"Hey" Brittany says while taking a seat next to me.

"Hi" I reply coldly.

"I know this isn't the best time honey but I am here for you" she says genuinely. "Look I know what I'm like and you know I love you but I never want to see you get hurt and I get that you're hurt right now so as a friend I want to support you."

"Support, right sure" I laugh it off shaking my head.

"Hey, you ok?" she asks frowning at me. I don't answer initially, I just turn around and lean in very close to her so I can whisper in her ear.

"I never want to see you again, how's that for being ok" I say harshly.

"Wait…what?" she asks shocked.

"You've basically just ruined my life Brittany" I spit.

"I ruined your life?" she questions annoyed. "You have no idea what you've done to me Santana."

"I didn't turn up at your wedding and ruin your relationship Brittany" I state.

"I might not have handled this the best way but surely you wouldn't have went ahead and married her without telling her the truth anyway" she says.

"Dani and I were doing fine before you turned up here" I tell her.

"Exactly, you were just fine" Brittany states. "Your relationship shouldn't be fine, it should be better than that and most importantly it shouldn't involve lies either."

"Yeah and it shouldn't involve exes turning up unwanted either so how about you just leave" I state shaking my head.

"I can't leave just yet" Brittany replies.

"I don't even know why you're still here. You got what you wanted which was to split Dani and I up so what are you doing still hanging around here?" I ask.

"Like I told you before, I am here on a business venture" she states.

"You say that but you very seldom leave the hotel so what exactly could you be doing if you don't even go to any meetings for this business thing" I say.

"The meetings are being held in the hotel, that's why I don't leave" she replies.

"Brittany you don't need to keep lying to me. Just admit you're here to get me back and you won't leave until you get what you want" I sigh.

"Ok yes I did come here to make you realise you were making a huge mistake but I know you don't want me anymore so I've let that go" Brittany replies. "I am not lying though about my business meetings."

"Oh really?" I ask, still not believing her.

"Santana the business I am here for is the hotel" she states.

"Wait…what?" I ask confused.

"I'm buying a stake in this hotel, one of the partners is selling so I'm taking it over from them" she replies.

"Now you're just making me out to be a fool because what would a professional dancer want with a hotel?" I shake my head. She's just making up excuses now for being here when we know the real reason is me.

"I swear Santana I am buying a part of this hotel" she says seriously.

"No you can't be, no one can be selling anything right now" I state.

"Honestly Santana" she states.

"But I booked my wedding here ages ago so shouldn't I have knew about problems the hotel was having. Shouldn't they have informed me that there was going to be new ownership when I have brought a lot of business to them?" I ask confused.

"It wasn't going to affect any of the customers because nothing was going to change right now. It's still under the same ownership at the moment" Brittany replies.

"This is unbelievable, I was about to get married in a hotel my ex is about to buy" I laugh in disbelief. "My whole wedding was doomed before we even knew it" I shake my head.

"Look this deal was on before I even knew you were getting married but I won't lie, when I found out what week you were having the wedding, I did bring the meetings forward" she replies honestly.

"Of course you did" I shrug getting tired of this conversation. Before Brittany can say anything else Ava comes out of the bathroom.

"Are you ready to go Brittany?" Ava asks.

"Yeah" Brittany nods looking over at Ava before turning back to me. "Look Ava and I need to go now" she sighs.

"Ok well go instead of staring at me" I say after a second once I noticed she hasn't moved.

"Ok" she sighs before standing up and leaving with Ava.

XXX

An hour or so later when I'm lying in bed sulking and thinking of how to get Dani back, I see Ava walk in the door. I run over to her because I want to talk to her about this Dani thing but as soon as I get off the bed, I notice Brittany walk in behind her.

"Ava why is she here again?" I ask rolling my eyes at Brittany. "We're leaving soon so what's going on?" I ask.

"Brittany is going to see her parents soon so she's going to be in the area for a little longer so she and I are doing dinner tonight at your place to finish our conversation" Ava replies.

"No that can't happen because I'm staying there obviously" I state.

"I know but you're letting me stay there until I get my flight home tomorrow" Ava states.

"Yes but mom and dad are staying there as well so there really isn't any room for Brittany at my place tonight, not even to visit" I reply.

"Mom and dad are going out for dinner tonight with some friends so they won't be there when Brittany is coming over" Ava tells me.

"I'm your sister Ava, does that mean nothing to you?" I ask bluntly.

"Excuse me?" Ava asks.

"Can't you see things aren't good right now?" I ask. "Don't you think you should be showing your sister some compassion and not take her exes side?"

"Santana there are no sides because I still care about you" Brittany interjects.

"There are sides because she's my sister and you're my ex. It's weird that you two are hanging out like there's nothing going on right now" I reply.

"I can be friends with Brittany and be your sister Santana so just calm down please" Ava replies.

"I am calm, I'm just saying it's weird" I shrug. "Look I need to go home now anyway so are you riding with me Ava or are you getting your new bestie to take you home?"

"I'm riding with you, Brittany will leave in her own car" Ava tells me.

"Ok" I nod.

"So I'll see you tonight Brittany?" Ava smiles at her.

"Yeah see you tonight" Brittany smiles back before turning to me. "Bye Santana" she says quietly.

"Yeah, goodbye" I sigh and then Brittany leaves. Ava and I quickly get ready and then drive back to my place with my parents.

As soon as I get back to my apartment, I begin unpacking my things. Rachel and Kurt said they would stay with Rachel's aunt tonight so my parents could stay at the apartment with me. My mom is currently helping me put my stuff away while my dad makes some coffee in the kitchen. Even though Dani and I didn't live together, its funny how much of her things are actually at my place. Each item I see just reminds me of how close I was to happiness until Brittany turned up.

"Santana…Santana!" my mom says loudly causing me to snap my head in her direction. "Are you ok, you were standing staring at the wall?" she asks worriedly.

"Not really but what can I do" I say taking a deep breath.

"Honey I don't know the whole story but you did cheat on her Santana, that's a lot for someone to get over so I'm not surprised Dani isn't taking things well" my mom replies.

"I never meant to hurt her mom" I say honestly.

"I know you didn't but it still happened so you need to give her time" my mom tells me.

"I suppose" I nod.

"Look your dad and I are meant to be going out soon but if you want I'll cancel because I don't want you to be sitting here alone when you're feeling like this" she says.

"No its fine mom, you and dad should still go out" I reply. "Ava is going to be here anyway plus she's having Brittany over so it's going to be really awkward so trust me, you don't want to be here tonight."

XXX

"Are you sure you don't want some food Santana, there's plenty here?" Ava asks me for the fifth time already.

"No I don't, I'll get something later" I reply while shooting her a glare.

"Please don't be like this Santana, have some food with us and let's try and get somewhere productive" Brittany says. "We both love each other so let's be mature adults and work this out because there must be a solution we can come up with."

"Don't make me get into this again, let's just leave things where they are because I can't be with you as much as you want me to. Let me get on with my life and you get on with yours" I say taking a deep breath. You'd think I'd be seriously dizzy right now with the amount of times Brittany and I keep going round in circles.

"Look why don't I leave you two alone to talk because you and I are finished our talk and I'll see you before you leave tomorrow" Ava says standing up from the table.

"That's not necessary Ava because I don't want to talk anymore" I reply.

"Well at least end things appropriately then" Ava says. "I'll be in your room Santana" she says and walks off.

"Let's cut a long story short, I love you, you love me and I think we can work things out if you keep an open mind" Brittany says.

"Please stop this" I sigh. "I worked my ass off to get over you and when I did I finally thought I was going to live happily ever after and now I'm not so I'm not in the mood" I shrug.

"You're not over me though" she states.

"Yes I still love you but that doesn't mean we were going to work. We found out in the end we are toxic together so they'll never be a you and me because we can never be together no matter how much I still love you" I state. "I loved Dani too and we worked together so she was the one for me."

"Santana…" Brittany sighs. "You can blame me all you want but you and Dani would never work together, not with the way you treated her."

"Excuse me?" I ask offended.

"How many times did we have sex when you two were together and how do you think someone feels when you tell them you love them but you also love someone else as well?" she asks.

"Ok so I wasn't the best girlfriend to her but I still love her and we were going to be happy" I state.

"You are living in some dreamland Santana, you really are" Brittany shakes her head.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" I ask.

"Do you know what, you're not the Santana Lopez I fell in love with" she shrugs.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask annoyed.

"We all know I have my faults and I did turn up here because I still loved you but what you're doing to Dani is wrong. You say you love her and want to be with her but yet you sleep with me and admit you still love me. You just want happiness for yourself. You're only mad right now because you're single and are too scared to work things out with me. You don't even care that you've broke Dani's heart or strung her along" she says before taking a deep sigh to end her rant.

"Brittany I do care that I hurt her, you have no idea how bad I feel about it" I say genuinely. "I'm not immune to feelings so I do know what I did was wrong but I also know that Dani and I are meant for each other."

"No, you're really not" Brittany laughs. "Look you've said it yourself that you still love me and I love you so we're the ones that are meant to be."

"Oh my god Brittany, you and I can't be together" I say in frustration.

"We can because you know you love me and you know I'm willing to help you achieve whatever you want yet you don't even acknowledge it" she states.

"I do acknowledge it but there's no way we would work. I'm tired of saying it but it's the truth. I can't follow you around while you achieve your dreams and I don't want you to follow me around. There is no way where we can both win" I sigh.

"Santana you just need to open yourself up to other opportunities and eventually you and I could meet in the middle somewhere. I really believe our passions can both be achieved here" she says strongly.

"No they can't" I state firmly.

"Let me guess, you've suddenly found your dream now?" she asks cheekily.

"Not exactly" I shake my head. "I'm still just doing things here and there in New York but I don't want to go anywhere else."

"So you won't even consider living somewhere else?" Brittany asks.

"No I won't" I shake my head. I wish it were that simple but things aren't so I don't want to suddenly move somewhere else and regret it.

"I don't know what else to say" Brittany sighs.

"Yeah me neither" I agree.

"I guess this really is it then" Brittany says taking a deep breath. "I'm not going to fight for you anymore Santana so you really don't need to worry about me" she says genuinely.

"Ok" I nod.

"That doesn't mean I'll give up on you though. I want you to know that I care about you and if you ever need something then I am here for you" she says.

"I guess I should say goodbye then" I say sadly. It is the right thing to do even though it's hard.

"Yeah, goodbye Santana" Brittany replies smiling sadly. "Could I give you a hug?" she asks hesitantly.

"Ok" I nod. Brittany moves closer and hugs me. When we finally pull out of the hug, Brittany gets up and walks to the door. We don't say anything else and as soon as Brittany leaves, I can't help but shed a few tears. Just because I don't think we'll work doesn't mean I wouldn't miss her so much.

* * *

The next day

My parents and I are just eating breakfast together before I drive them to the airport. As much as I like having them here, I think it'll be better when they go back home because too much if different right now so it's hard to get back to some sort of normality. Not only are they here which isn't a usual thing but I'm also not with Dani right now and Brittany is here.

"I never understood why you couldn't work things out with Brittany" my mom says looking over at me.

"Is there something wrong with Dani mom?" I ask slightly offended.

"Of course not, you know I like her" she says. "I was just saying though, you and Brittany seemed so perfect together so I never could understand what went wrong."

"I'm not getting into this again" I shake my head in annoyance.

"You two just seemed made for each other" my mom says. "Oh and the way she planned to propose was just spectacular" she states.

"And the ring was huge" my dad points out.

"Ok let's back this thing right up" I state confused. "Did you say propose?"

"Yeah we're talking about when Brittany was going to propose to you" my dad states.

"Which was when?" I ask still confused by this.

"Wait you didn't know?" my dad asks frowning in confusion.

"How would I know?" I ask like it's obvious.

"She didn't tell you?" my mom asks.

"No she never told me anything about proposing or a ring" I reply slightly shocked. I had no idea marriage was even on the cards when we were together.

"Well I can assure you she was going to propose" my dad says.

"I do believe you, I'm just surprised that's all" I admit.

XXX

As soon as I take my parents to the airport, I quickly take a detour as I'm leaving and don't go straight home. I make my way to Brittany's parent's house hoping she's still there so I can talk to her about the proposal. Once I quickly park up outside I run over to the door and knock on it. It takes a few seconds before the door opens.

"Santana what on earth are you doing here?" Brittany asks shocked. "You know I'm catching a flight tonight because I've got a show in Portland in a few days."

"I know but I need to talk to you about something before you go because I might never see you again" I state.

"Ok well you best come in then" she says opening the door wider so I can walk in. She closes it behind me and we go to the kitchen. "Do you want some coffee?" she asks.

"No I better not stay long" I reply.

"Ok so what did you want to talk about?" she asks.

"Why did you never tell me you were going to propose to me?" I ask.

"I don't know what you're talking about" she frowns in confusion but I don't buy it.

"Don't start that nonsense, my parents have just let it slip and told me all about you asking my dad if you could marry me" I state.

"Oh…" she nods.

"Answer the question then, why did you never tell me before and why did you never actually go through with it?" I ask.

"Well when someone breaks up with you it's not really the most romantic setting to propose" she states. "The night you broke up with me was the night I had planned to do it."

"Oh…wow" I say surprised.

"Does it really matter anymore anyway because you've made it abundantly clear you'll never take me back?" Brittany asks sadly.

"It does matter because getting married is a big thing, I should know since I almost did just get married" I state.

"I know marriage is a big thing" she states.

"Look are you honestly telling me you would be able to get married to me knowing neither of us wanted the same things regarding our careers?" I ask.

"Yes" Brittany nods.

"Our relationship was barely surviving so marrying me wouldn't have helped that. Like I said before I didn't want to follow you around and regret it and I didn't want you to do the same for me. There was no way both dreams could happen" I say. I just can't believe Brittany would want to get married when we couldn't work things out. I know she loved me but marriage is a big step and I can't believe she would be willing to settle for me when she wouldn't be happy.

"Santana my dream was you" Brittany sighs. "I would give up dancing in a heartbeat to be with you but the reason I haven't is because I know I don't need to because there are still ways to work this out."

"I would hate myself if you ever gave up dancing for me because you shouldn't give up something you love for the sake of some stupid girl who has been a bitch to you" I sigh.

"You're something I love though so I wouldn't be giving you up" Brittany points out.

"Brittany you need to find something else because I'm not right for you. As much as I love you I don't want you to settle for me because I know you won't be happy and I won't be either because I'll know I made you like this" I say honestly.

"Look let's just leave this here then because we both have different opinions on the situation so we're only going to continue to go around in circles" Brittany sighs. "You know now I was going to propose but you no longer want to be together so let's not make this any harder. I think you should just leave now."

"Ok I'll go but please don't wait around, just be happy" I say with a small smile.

"It'll take some time but I'll try" Brittany admits.

"I guess this is goodbye again then?" I say.

"Yeah it is" Brittany nods. "But before you go, I know we're not friends…or even anything for that matter, but I want you to do something for me please" she says.

"Um…I don't know" I state unsurely.

"I know you want to stay in New York but I think you should go to California and audition for a TV show that's being made at the moment" she tells me.

"A TV show?" I ask and she nods. "What would I be doing, would they want me for a guest part to sing or something?" I ask confused.

"No I want you to audition for one of the main characters because I think you'd do well in acting. Singing and dancing don't seem to have your full focus so maybe acting is more your thing" she points out.

"I don't know about that" I shake my head.

"Look if it doesn't work out then go back to New York" she says. "I know you're scared to work things out with me in case someone gets hurt but this is your career Santana so try something new and if you don't like it then you're not hurting anyone."

"I don't know about California but I am willing to try and maybe do something different" I admit. I guess Brittany has a point because if things don't work out doing something different then it only affects me, it's not like I'm bringing someone else down if I'm not even with anyone.

"Good" she smiles. "Anyway you should go now…so uh…goodbye Santana" she says hesitantly.

"Yeah" I nod but I don't really move. I don't want to go right now, I don't think I want to leave things like this. "Wait…I don't want to go right now" I sigh.

"Why what's wrong?" Brittany asks in concern.

"I don't want you leaving tonight and thinking I don't give a shit about you" I say. "I might not be able to be with you Brittany but I care about you so much and I want you to know that" I say honestly.

"It's fine Santana, I know you care and whatever" she smiles.

"Look if you don't need to rush off today then let's hang out tonight and then I'll take you to the airport. Let's not end this on a bad note, ok?" I say.

"Ok" Brittany smiles.

* * *

Brittany's POV (1 month later)

I'm sitting in my hotel room eating breakfast while I go through some of my emails on my iPad. I've got a dancing gig on at the moment but I'm due to fly back to New York next week to talk to some people about a new show that's in the pipeline so I'm looking through my emails to see my schedule. I wanted to try and see my parents in the middle of it if I could because I'm never in the one place so they don't tend to be able to come and visit me so I always go to them whenever I'm in New York.

Once I'm about to text my mom to tell her when I'll likely be in New York, my phone suddenly vibrates with a text from someone else. As soon as I open it, my heart starts beating faster when I realise who it is.

 _From Santana: Hey, it's Santana. I really hope this is still your number because we didn't actually say one way or another when we last saw each other if we had changed them so if it is then maybe you could text me back._

This is such a surprise because I never thought I'd hear from her again. We did leave things in a good way but it also seemed really final as well like we never thought we'd see each other again. If she wants to talk to me though then I'm ok with that because as much as I know we can't be together I still want to talk to her so I'm going to text her back.

 _I text: yeah it's still my number : )_

 _Santana texts: where are you based at the moment?_

 _I text: I'm in LA just now because I'm currently dancing backup for someone_

 _Santana texts: how long will you be there and where do you go next?_

 _I text: I don't mean to be rude but what's going on here?_

I'm starting to get a little confused now because she seems really interested in what's going on with me but yet she isn't divulging why she wants to know. Initially I just thought it was just a quick text to tell me she was maybe back with Dani or something but it doesn't seem like it anymore.

 _Santana texts: I want to meet up with you_

Ok so that really has surprised me. Surely if she was with Dani then she wouldn't want to see me anymore so maybe she wants to be friends or something. I would love to say she wants me back but somehow I think I'm pushing my luck there.

 _I text: oh…well I'm here for another week_

 _Santana texts: ok well I need to head out now but maybe you could text me where you're staying and I'll come find you as soon as I can_

 _I text: seriously?_

 _Santana texts: yeah : )_

I don't know what to think of this because she can't seriously be about to jump on a plane to just meet with me. Surely she has work at the moment or something. I mean this is all really sudden and even if she is going to fly here it's going to take a good few hours anyway and that's after she finds out where I am and books the flight.

Even though it's confusing me, I text her where I am anyway because it's Santana. If Santana wants to meet with me then I'm not about to stop her.


	8. Progress

Chapter 8: Progress

Brittany's POV

It's been about 45 minutes since I last heard from Santana. I text her half an hour ago telling her which hotel I was at and where it was but I haven't heard back. I just hope she got my text because I'd hate her to be sitting waiting on me replying thinking I haven't text her back.

After constantly checking my phone every few seconds for the next five minutes, I realise I need to relax and if Santana texts back then fine but if she doesn't then maybe I'll try again tomorrow. If she hasn't got my text then there's nothing I can do about it right now, I need to focus on work.

Once I finally get round to texting my mom like I was supposed to do before Santana texted me, I start to tidy up a little and make sure I have everything sorted for tonight. I'm just ironing what I'll wear tonight for the show I'm doing when someone knocks on the door. I quickly sit the iron down and switch it off before walking over to the door. As soon as I open it my heart beats 10 times faster.

"Oh my god" I say in shock.

"Hi" Santana replies.

"You actually came" I smile. I am so unbelievably happy right now.

"I said I would, didn't I?" she smiles back. "So…can I come in?"

"Of course" I laugh while opening the door a little bit wider. She walks in and I close it behind her.

"Nice room" Santana says looking around.

"Thanks, I guess" I chuckle nervously. I don't really know what to say to that because it's not my room as such, it's the hotel's that I'm just staying in until the show is over.

"Can we sit?" Santana asks pointing to the couch.

"Yeah of course" I nod eagerly before joining her on the sofa.

"So…" Santana says nervously while looking at me.

"Yeah" I smile. "Uh…can I get you a drink or something?" I ask as a silence fills the air around us.

"Sure" she smiles, "what have you got?"

"Not a lot really but there were some complimentary drinks in the fridge when I arrived the other night and I haven't drank any yet" I reply.

"Cool" Santana smiles.

"They're kinda all alcoholic, is that ok?" I ask hesitantly. I mean it's not even lunchtime yet so maybe she doesn't want to be drinking at this time.

"Hey you know me Britt, I'll never say no to a cheeky cocktail" she smirks.

"Actually I have a couple of bottles of water too if you'd rather that" I offer.

"No alcohol is good" Santana smiles. "We might as well get the party started already" she chuckles.

"Ok so what will I make?" I ask.

"Surprise me" she smiles and I nod. As soon as I fix us some drinks I join her on the couch again.

"So what are you doing in California then?" I ask.

"I had a second audition actually" she smiles.

"Oh that's good" I say genuinely. "Is it for something in New York but you had to audition here for them?"

"No it's actually for a TV show here in California" she replies.

"Wait…you mean you auditioned for the show I told you to?" I smile.

"I did and now they want me to come back and do something else for them" she tells me.

"That's positive then" I tell her.

"I mean they liked me at the first audition but they want me to audition again for a few of the other producers to make sure they get the casting right" she replies.

"Well I'm sure you'll do well because you're always amazing at whatever you do" I smile.

"I don't know about that but I am feeling really confident about the audition" Santana says.

"So when is it?" I ask.

"Tomorrow at 10am" she replies. "Anyway enough about me, what have you got going on at the moment?" she asks.

"Well I'm a backup dancer for a new singer who's doing a mini tour right now. She's relatively new to the music business so she's doing a few shows to get her name out there" I reply. "I mean it doesn't pay as much as I'd like but it's a job and right now I need something to do."

"Why what's going on with you?" she asks curiously.

"I just don't know if I want to keep doing this dancing thing" I admit honestly.

"Oh really?" Santana asks surprised.

"Don't get me wrong I love dancing but I haven't been getting steady jobs the last few weeks. It's like a week doing this is LA or a week doing something else in Chicago. I don't mind traveling for something but I'd rather travel while doing the same thing you know?" I reply.

"Yeah I understand" Santana nods.

"Maybe I should just go back to teaching" I sigh.

"No Brittany you can't do that" Santana shakes her head. "I'm not saying there is anything wrong with teaching but for someone with your ability then you deserve to be paid a heck of a lot more than what a teacher would be."

"I suppose" I reply. I mean I guess Santana does have a bit of a point there.

"So what time do you start tonight?" she asks.

"The show starts at 8 but we need to be there a few hours before to prepare and sort out a few things before we hit the stage" I say.

"Cool" Santana smiles. "Hey, is it a sold out gig because I'd like to go and see you dance."

"I could probably get you in tonight if you really wanted to go" I say.

"I do, I really want to see you dance again" she smiles.

"Ok, I'll see what I can do tonight" I smile back.

"Awesome" she replies.

"I assume you're staying close by if you're here and you want to go to the show tonight" I say.

"I am, I'm staying in a hotel not far from here actually" she replies.

"Cool" I smile. "So while we're on the subject about being here, why did you want to meet with me?" I ask.

"Because you're Brittany and I couldn't imagine not ever seeing you again" she states. "After we broke up I think I always had that feeling in the back of my mind that we'd always be in one another's lives. Knowing we would always see each other again kept me going but that night we said goodbye and agreed to never see one another again absolutely killed me. I couldn't imagine my life without you in it in some capacity" she says honestly.

"I know what you're saying but you made it clear you didn't want to get back together with me" I say.

"I know and I don't" she states.

"You really don't?" I question.

"Yes…I mean no…look I don't know" she sighs while throwing her head back in frustration. "I definitely want to be in your life Brittany but I just don't know what I want with regards more than that."

"What's going on with Dani and you?" I ask.

"Nothing, I haven't spoken to her since the last time you were there" she states.

"Ok but what do you want to happen?" I ask.

"Honestly if I said I missed her terribly then I'd be lying" she admits. "Don't get me wrong I know I was a huge bitch to her and I hate that about myself but maybe you were partly right."

"Right about what?" I frown in confusion.

"That I wanted the happiness and the wedding of it all, not Dani" she replies.

"I didn't mean that Santana, I said it because I was hurt and I wanted you" I say feeling bad about it.

"No but I think it was actually true" she states.

"So in what way do you want to go from here?" I ask. "What were your intentions when you text me this morning?"

"I just wanted to see you Brittany because I miss you and I can't live without you" she admits. "I'm not saying let's get back together, I'm just saying can I be in your life a little bit?" she asks.

"Um…" I really want to say yes but what if that makes things worse. I'll always want more than what Santana is willing to give so should I really put myself through that.

"Do you want us to keep in touch?" she asks.

"I really do but at the same time I know I'm always going to want more from you. I'm going to want what you can't give me so I don't know how I'll feel about that" I say honestly. "I mean think about in years to come, what if we finally find someone else, can we go through what just happened again. I actually thought you were going to marry Dani so I don't know if I could go through with that again."

"I'm hoping by that time we'll have figured things out and we'll be in a better place" she tells me.

"Hopefully we will but why can't we be there now, you know?" I reply. "If we think it'll happen in a year then why aren't we able to figure these things out now?"

"We just need to start out as friends again and take things slowly" Santana states.

"Ok" I nod. We fall into a silence for a few minutes but there's just something I need to ask her but I don't know if I really want the answer.

"Are you ok?" she asks looking at me, presumably noticing how hesitant I am right now to say something.

"I need to ask something but I don't know if I'll like the answer" I admit.

"Maybe you should just ask anyway because it'll only bubble up inside if you don't" she says.

"Ok so here's the thing…" I say nervously before taking a deep breath. "Is there any kind of possibility that we could maybe ever be together?"

"Honestly Britt, I don't know" she sighs. "I don't want to say yes and give you mixed signals or lead you on but I can't say no either because I've realised now that things don't always happen the way you expect them too."

"But you maybe would be open to being with me if it felt right?" I ask hopefully.

"Maybe in the future if neither of us were with the right person" she admits, "but that doesn't mean stop looking for someone. You need to be with a nice girl Brittany who loves you so don't give up on finding someone just because I might eventually get my messed up life in order."

"Do you know what we should do, let's just forget about everything and have a fun week. We're both here for another few days and you're coming to watch my show tonight so let's just enjoy the present and worry about the future later" I suggest.

"I agree" she smiles.

* * *

Santana's POV

I really enjoyed myself last night at Brittany's show. Once she was done she let me come backstage and I met some of the other dancers and then we all went out for a drink together. We all went back to Brittany's hotel room and had a few more drinks before everyone started going back to their rooms. Brittany and one of the other dancers walked me back to my hotel so I wasn't on my own and then they went back to their hotel.

I'm now just hanging out in my room trying to stay calm and prepare myself for my audition in 2 hours. I'm also kind of waiting on Brittany texting me because she promised she would send me a quick text before I left for the audition. I assume she just meant a quick good luck text or something. To be honest with you I thought she would have texted me by now but maybe she's forgot.

Just as I'm thinking about texting Brittany to make sure everything is ok, there's a knock at the door. I go over and open it and to my surprise it's Brittany.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I ask, surprised but still happy to see her.

"Well since my next show isn't until tonight then I thought maybe I could tag along to the audition with you today" she suggests.

"You don't need to do that" I shake my head.

"But I want to plus wouldn't you feel better with a familiar face around?" she asks.

"Yeah I guess I would" I nod.

"Cool so what are you wearing to your audition?" she asks.

"I was thinking of this" I say while pointing towards the dress hanging up on the door.

"Yeah it's nice. It's elegant but still sexy" she smiles at me. "All the male producers should like you in that" she teases.

"I was hoping they'd like me for my acting skills and not the way I look but who am I kidding" I say shaking my head. We all know how these things go, it's all about looks in this business.

"Well whatever happens I'll be there to support you" she smiles.

XXX

The audition seemed to go really well which I was pleased about. I just need to wait now and see what they say when they call me back. Brittany and I are currently having lunch together and just talking about things.

"So your last show is tomorrow, right?" I ask.

"Yes it is and I have a flight the next day" she replies.

"So what are your plans after that then?" I ask.

"I actually have some time off so I did want to go back to New York and visit my parents" she replies.

"Cool" I nod.

"What about you, what are you up to now that you're audition is over?" Brittany asks.

"Going back to New York" I reply. "If I am lucky enough to get this TV show then they don't start shooting for another few months yet so I'll just spend some time there."

"Cool" she smiles.

"Are you staying with your parent's then?" I ask interested.

"I haven't actually decided yet. Ever since I sublet my apartment, I've been staying with them whenever I'm in New York but I feel bad for that. It's like I just show up, take up their house and eat their food" she says honestly.

"They're your parents though so they probably don't even mind" I point out.

"I know but my siblings don't do that so I probably should be paying my way when I'm in New York whether that's staying in a hotel or giving them some money for my time at their house" she states.

"You know you could always stay at your hotel" I smirk.

"The deal hasn't quite been finalised yet so I probably shouldn't" she states.

"Yeah you probably shouldn't anyway because I wouldn't be able to visit you there. It'd been too many weird memories since the last time I was there I was supposed to get married" I say.

"True" she nods.

"Look why don't you just come and stay with me" I tell her.

"I don't want to put you out Santana" she states.

"Trust me, you're not" I say genuinely.

"Ok, I'll stay with you then" she smiles. "So when is your flight back home?" she asks.

"It was supposed to be tomorrow but I might just reschedule and fly back with you the next day" I reply.

"Ok cool" she smiles again. "I feel a lot better now because I won't be travelling alone" she says.

"Yeah me too" I reply. "It'll be nice to have some company on a boring flight."

"It will" she smiles. "Hey do you remember the last time we were on a plane together. We were going on a trip somewhere together and you…"

"Suggested we had sex in the bathroom and then we did?" I smirk at the memory.

"I was actually just going to say you fell asleep and end up drooling on the guy sitting next to us" she says.

"Oh right, yeah" I say laughing.

"I think the time before that though we did have sex on the plane" she smirks.

"Despite all our problems, when we were good we were good you know" I smile. We did have some amazing times together.

* * *

Brittany has been crashing at my place for a few days now. Rachel isn't too happy about it but if it wasn't for me then we wouldn't have this place so I don't really care what she thinks. To be honest she spends most of her time practicing at college anyway so she's barely here.

I'm currently just walking around the apartment in just a towel because I was planning on showering but Brittany got there first. We got into a playful fight but she won so now I'm just waiting around. I didn't see the point in putting clothes back on because she shouldn't be too long in the shower. I'm in the middle of clearing the breakfast dishes away when there's a knock at the door. However I've opened the door before I've even registered I'm not wearing a whole lot.

"Hi" Dani says.

"Dani…hi" I say completely surprised.

"Is this a bad time?" Dani asks

"Uh…no" I reply hesitantly. It's not the best time since I'm barely wearing anything but I also don't want to say she can't come in because this is the first time I've seen her in a while so I don't want to have to wait another month before we talk.

"I just came here to get a few of my things" she replies.

"That's cool" I nod. "Where are they and I can just grab them?"

"They're kind of all over so it's probably better I look for them myself" she admits.

"Um…ok" I nod before stepping to the side to let her into the apartment. She comes in and begins looking for some of her things. She's right in the middle of collecting a few of her notepads with some lyrics on them that were in the living room when suddenly my heart starts racing.

"Santana I think the water is about to get cold because there's only so much hot water left so we should…uh…Dani" Brittany says walking into the room before stumbling on her words when she sees Dani.

"Wow" Dani mutters upset.

"This is not what it looks like" I state.

"Really?" she questions.

"Yes" I state firmly.

"So your ex-girlfriend did not just walk out of your bathroom wearing the smallest towel I have ever seen?" she asks.

"Ok so that's exactly what that looks like" I point out. "What I mean though is that there's nothing going on with us."

"Santana you really don't need to explain" Dani shakes her head. "You could have warned me though before I walked in here because it's humiliating enough to cheat on me but to then basically show me what you get up to is worse."

"Santana and I really aren't together" Brittany states.

"I'm talking to my fiancée not you" Dani glares at Brittany.

"You can't just call her your fiancée when it suits you" Brittany states. "You broke up with Santana and then called off the wedding and you haven't even spoken to her in a month so you got to make up your damn mind."

"Are you going to let her talk to me like that Santana?" Dani asks looking at me.

"Well she kinda has a point" I shrug.

"Do you know what, we are definitely over now" Dani shakes her head while walking to the door. "If I've left anything else then just get the stuff mailed to my parent's house."

"Or I could just trash them" Brittany smirks.

"Whatever" Dani rolls her eyes before storming out of the apartment.

"This is so messed up" I shake my head.

"You can't seriously still want to be with her" Brittany states.

"It's not that Brittany, it's just I treated her so badly and now she thinks we're together. I don't want her to think this was my intention all along because I really loved her" I say genuinely.

"You said loved not love, does this mean you don't love her anymore?" Brittany asks hopefully.

"I mean I do still care about her because this was all my fault but if you're asking if I see a future with Dani then I don't anymore" I admit.

"Ok" Brittany nods.

"Anyway she's left now so let's just forget about that and get ready" I say. "We've got some shopping to do and then you're taking me to lunch" I smile.

"Why is it my treat?" she smirks.

"Because I'm letting you stay here for a few days for free" I smirk back.

"Ok fair enough" she laughs. "Anyway I'm done in the shower so it's free for you to use it now" she tells me.

"Ok thank you" I say before going to get ready for the day. As soon as I'm done I meet Brittany in the living room and we head out. "Excuse me, my eyes are up here" I state as I notice Brittany staring at me.

"That's great but mine are currently on your chest" she smiles smugly.

"You know what…never mind" I laugh.

"I'm sorry but you just look amazing right now so I can't take my eyes off of you" she smiles.

XXX

Brittany and I are sitting at lunch together. She got a call about half an hour ago about doing another show so she's going to be leaving New York tomorrow which is a lot sooner than we thought.

"So what time if your flight tomorrow?" I ask.

"10am" she replies.

"Ok well I can drive you to the airport" I smile.

"Ok thanks" she smiles.

"Speaking of cars, I actually think I still have a spare set of Dani's car keys" I point out.

"You still love Dani, don't you?" Brittany sighs.

"Britt you asked me that earlier" I say.

"I know but you haven't stopped talking about her ever since we left the apartment this morning" she replies.

"It's only because I need to remember everything I still have of hers so I can return them to her. The car reminded me of her car keys and the dress we saw earlier reminded me that I still have some of her clothes in my closet" I say honestly.

"If you're still into Dani then I get it, it's ok" Brittany says taking a deep breath. "It's your life and if she's who you want then fine."

"I realise now that Dani and I aren't meant to be together but it doesn't mean I should forget about everything I put her through" I say. "I need to make sure I do things in an adult way now and give her back her stuff. It's the least I can do."

"Ok, fine" Brittany shrugs.

* * *

2 months later

I'm finally seeing Brittany again today which I'm so excited about. The last 2 months have been quite hard because I've been wrapping up a few things in New York before making this big step in moving to California. I got the role in the TV show Brittany suggested I do so I'm finally doing something good with my life and taking a few more risks. I mean let's face it I wasn't going anywhere confining myself to New York so I'm happy now that I feel I can do this.

I have spoken to Brittany through text and things like that the last couple of months but we haven't actually talked nearly as much as I hoped we would. The last few weeks she seems a little off with me so I just hope everything is ok with us. It was perhaps slightly awkward that day Dani came to the apartment but Brittany still spent the night at my place and I still took her to the airport so I can't imagine much went wrong.

Brittany is back in New York to see her parents for a few days and then she goes to California too so I was thinking about asking to come with me. She had only planned to go for a few days to see a few dancer friends but I think I'm going to take a risk and asks if she wants to stay longer with me. I have missed her so much and with me taking this big risk in moving to another state then I actually think I'm in a better place now and I think maybe Brittany and I could be something again. She hasn't said anything recently but before she left 2 months ago I got the feeling she still wanted us so maybe things could be ok.

As soon as there's a knock on the door, I run over and answer it as quickly as I can. Luckily enough it is Brittany on the other side of the door.

"Hey" I smile before leaning in to hug her. "I missed you so much" I tell her.

"I missed you too" she says giving me a small smile.

"What's wrong?" I ask noticing she's not as happy as I thought she would be.

"I kinda need to talk to you about something Santana" she says sadly.

"Well I actually need to talk to you too and I think you're going to like what I want to say" I smile.

"Ok so what is it?" she asks.

"Recently I've came to a realisation about a few things and I think I want you and I to see if maybe we could work again" I say.

"Oh wow" Brittany says surprised.

"I have no idea if we will be able to work but I'm willing to try and we don't need to start too full on or anything. We can just hang out, maybe have a few dates and see where things might go" I tell her.

"What has brought all this on?" she asks.

"Well I've had time to think since I've been alone recently and now I feel I can make big decisions in taking on new opportunities and I'm not limiting myself to New York so there is probably a way where we can both win" I smile. "And before you say anything, I am willing to admit you were right" I smirk.

"I see" she nods in understanding.

"You don't look too happy about this" I point out. "Is this something you don't want anymore because from what I got you seemed to still like me?"

"If you had said this 2 months ago then I would have been all over you right now but these last few weeks, I've kinda trained my mind into thinking we would never happen" she admits.

"Can't you just train it back then?" I joke.

"Look…I need to tell you something" she says taking a deep breath.

"Ok what?" I smile.

"I'm having a baby Santana" she sighs.

"I'm sorry, you're having a what now?" I ask completely floored by the news.


	9. It's not what it seems

Chapter 9: It's not what it seems

"Look…I need to tell you something" she says taking a deep breath.

"Ok what?" I smile while reaching over to take her hand in mine.

"I'm having a baby Santana" she sighs.

"I'm sorry, you're having a what now?" I ask completely floored by the news. I immediately drop her hand and start pacing up and down the room.

"I thought there was no hope for us anymore so I did what you said and got on with my life. You told me to start looking for someone and make progress with my life. You said you didn't want me to wait around for you" she replies.

"I know but a fucking baby Brittany" I state. I don't mean to swear but I'm kinda angry right now. I know what I said but it's only been two months so I didn't think she would have moved on that soon. Fair enough if I said that and it was 6 months later then I'd hold my hands up but she told me 2 months ago she still loved me.

"I'm 26 now and I always wanted to have a few kids and I feel I am ready now to take the next step and have a baby" she admits.

"I know you always wanted kids but this just seems really sudden to me" I admit.

"I must admit things did happen a lot quicker than I thought they would but this is what I wanted anyway. A baby will make me happy and perhaps I need to take a step back from dancing right now anyway so it's a good time to have a baby" she tells me.

"I just don't understand though, I mean you're a lesbian Brittany" I state. I don't necessarily like labels but for goodness sake, she's only ever dated girls so this is just weird to start dating men now. I mean did I put her off that much.

"Lesbians can still have children Santana" she glares at me.

"I know that" I say shaking my head. "I mean since when have you been into guys?"

"I'm not into guys though" she frowns in confusion.

"So what you just hooked up with one in the off chance he'd impregnate you?" I ask.

"What on earth are you talking about, there is no guy" she states.

"Then how are you pregnant?" I ask.

"I'm doing IVF so I used a sperm donor" she replies. "Santana I'm not in a relationship with anyone, I'm doing this on my own."

"Wow…ok" I say laughing.

"This is not funny, this is my life Santana and I made that choice" she frowns at me.

"I'm not laughing at you, sorry" I apologise. "I am laughing in relief because I completely misunderstood what you were saying. I thought you were with a guy now and you were having his baby."

"No I'm doing this on my own" she replies.

"I mean this is still quite a sticky situation for me but it's a little clearer than when I first heard you say you were having a baby" I admit. "I just want to clarify something though, are you actually pregnant right now or in the process of getting pregnant?"

"No I am actually pregnant" she states.

"Ok" I nod.

"Like I say I didn't think it would happen this quickly. You see so many women go through IVF and it usually can take a couple of tries so even though I was ready for this I did think I'd have a little time first so I thought I might as well start the process" she tells me.

"It makes sense" I say because it does.

"I know this is a lot to take in so I don't blame you if you hate me right now" Brittany says.

"I don't hate you, I'm just in shock that's all" I admit.

"I want you to know though, I didn't do this to hurt you or anything. I just didn't want to waste any more time waiting around in case things didn't happen. I mean you did say don't wait around" she says.

"I know and you haven't hurt me as such. I'm more pissed off about the timing of it all" I say. "I mean the day I finally realise what's right in front of me and I have the courage to tell you is the day you tell me you're having a baby. It just sucks that's all."

"I know it does" Brittany nods. "Santana I don't want this to change our friendship because I'd like us to still be friends and keep in touch."

"So now that you're pregnant is that all we can ever be?" I ask.

"I mean I never want to think like that but I am having a baby now so would you even want to still be with me?" she asks.

"Like I say it's a shock right now but I don't want to completely rule things out in the future" I say honestly. I mean if she's not with anyone then I guess there might still be a chance for us to work. I'm not saying I wanted a baby this young but it could work out ok because Brittany means a lot to me and I think I could do this if she wanted to.

"I guess we just need to let this sink in and see what happens" she says.

"Yeah" I nod in agreement. "This might not be the time to ask but are you still going to LA in a few days?" I ask.

"If you still want me there then yeah" she replies.

"I do and I had planned on asking if you wanted to stay a little longer with me" I tell her.

"Ok, sounds good" she smiles.

"So are you just going to crash here until we leave for LA then?" I ask because we haven't quite sorted out the arrangements yet. I was just so desperate to see her that I texted her to meet me today.

"Well I wasn't actually sure what was happening" she admits.

"You might as well just stay here then" I say and she nods. "Feel free to put your stuff in my room out the way if you want. You can have my bed and I'll take the couch."

"Or we could just share the bed like last time" she suggests.

"I didn't know if you wanted to share or not" I say.

"Well I think we may as well just share unless you don't want to" she asks.

"No I do" I smile.

"Ok cool, I'll go and put my stuff in your room" she smiles back before making her way to my room.

* * *

Brittany's POV

What the hell have I done? I really thought there was no way Santana would change her mind about being with me. I figured I might as well move on with my life a bit because I don't know how much more uncertainty I could take. I mean don't get me wrong I'm happy we're friends again but I was worried that was all we'd be so I decided to do something that makes me happy.

I mean I want a couple of kids minimum but at the same time I don't want to be too old a mom either so I figured I might as well start now anyway. I know I might seem crazy since I'm going to be a single mom but I'd rather be a single one than not one. Plus I don't think you always need necessarily two parents, you just need a loving family and I have that and my child will have that.

I have no idea what happens now but Santana seems to still want to be friends with me at least and she seems to want me to go to California too so I guess we just need to see what happens.

"Hey, is everything ok in here?" Santana asks walking into the bedroom.

"Yeah" I smile.

"You just seemed to be taking a while so I thought something was wrong" she replies.

"Sorry I just got side tracked. My mom text me to see if I was going to visit before we leave so I was just quickly replying" I lie. Ok so it wasn't a complete lie because she did text me earlier and I did reply but I figured it was best to say that just now than to go over the whole pregnancy thing again. I think Santana will probably just want time to digest the news.

"Ok" she nods.

"So what are your plans now?" I ask.

"Well it's still early and I haven't eaten this morning so why don't we go out and have some lunch" she suggests. "I'll treat you this time since you paid the last time."

"Sounds good" I smile. "Let me just freshen up and change and then we can go" I say.

"Ok" she smiles back before leaving the room. Once I'm finished getting ready, Santana and I head out to lunch.

"Do you know I have lived in New York my whole life and I've never actually been to this restaurant before" I tell her as we get sat down at a table.

"Have you not?" she asks in surprise and I shake my head. "So we never went on date here then because I feel like I've been here before?" she asks.

"Not us, no" I reply. "Maybe you and Dani did though" I tease.

"No we never went here" she shakes her head. "Dani always picked where we would go to eat and she never picked here."

"I see" I nod while smirking slightly.

"Why are you smirking?" she asks laughing.

"Well you always had me on a super tight lead which is I thought was sexy but the more you talk about Dani the more it seems she had you well under her control" I point out.

"No, I tell myself what I can and can't do. I didn't need my girlfriend to do that for me" she replies.

"Like I say, I used to like it when you told me what to do and what not to do" I say smugly.

"I know you did that's why I would do it" she smirks back. "As for Dani though, can we not really go there anymore because that ship has well and truly sailed. There is no chance of us ever being anything and I don't want to disrespect her either when I've already hurt her enough" she says seriously.

"Ok" I nod understanding her point. "Speaking of being truly over, what made you realise you still wanted to be with me?" I ask.

"We just had so much fun the last time we hung out and then the two months away from you got me thinking" she starts. "Plus if I'm willing to make a big change in my life and go to LA then surely that means making another change like taking a chance with you is doable too."

"I get that but what clicked to make you want to make these changes?" I ask.

"Basically the time on my own got me thinking a lot and if I'm being completely honest right now, I did go to a few therapy sessions" she admits embarrassed.

"That's nothing to be ashamed about because therapy really does help things sometimes. I've never been myself but I have had a few friends who find it very beneficial" I say honestly.

"To sum it up, she made me see what made me the happiest and that was you" she smiles. "I know I said a career was so important to me but in the end it was clear that I couldn't live without you."

"It's got so much more complicated now though" I chuckle nervously.

"Yeah" she replies sadly.

"But let's not think about that right now, let's just have fun" I smile. I can see Santana isn't quite ready to talk any more about this so we might as well just enjoy what we can right now.

"Ok" she says, her face brightening a little.

"Let's talk about LA, what's happening this week?" I ask.

"Well we catch a flight out on Wednesday and get to spend a few days together before I start work on the Monday" she replies.

"Sounds good" I smile.

"So as I was saying earlier, I'd like you to stay a bit longer in LA with me" Santana says nervously. "That is only if you want to though" she adds.

"I do" I smile. "Hey I never actually asked, did you get the lease of your apartment all sorted out?"

"I did so we're all good to stay there as soon as we get to LA" she replies.

"Excellent" I smile getting excited about spending more time with Santana.

* * *

We've been in California for a number of days now but the whole baby thing hasn't been spoken about once since we got here. My morning sickness hasn't quite kicked in yet but there really isn't going to be any denying I'm pregnant when that comes. It's going to be a constant reminder for both of us so I can only imagine things might become awkward if we don't talk about it.

"Hey, you ok?" Santana asks walking into the room.

"Yeah I'm fine" I smile.

"Well that's the last of all my boxes unpacked" she says while grabbing some water from the fridge.

"That's good" I tell her.

"So what are we up to now?" she asks.

"Obviously I won't be drinking but what do you say we hit a few bars tonight and celebrate your new job starting on Monday?" I suggest.

"Well I can never refuse a good Saturday night out so why not" Santana smiles.

"Good, let's get ready now and we can leave soon" I say.

"Ok but what about dinner?" she asks.

"We can get something to eat first and then get some drinks" I say. "It's on me this time since I'm staying with you" I smile.

"Ok" she smiles back. "One of these nights though we should make dinner rather than throw our money at restaurants all the time."

"Yeah we will but let's just have one last good night out before your job" I smile.

"Ok" she nods before going to her room to get changed.

As soon as we were ready, we got a cab and headed out to dinner. The restaurant was reasonably quiet so it was nice because we could talk without having to shout over everyone. We're now at a bar having a drink, my drink of course is non-alcoholic.

"So have you met anyone you're going to be working with yet or will you have to wait to Monday?" I ask interested.

"I met a few of the crew during my auditions but I haven't really seen anyone else in the cast yet" she replies. "I'm kinda nervous to be honest because I barely even know names of people so it's not like I can look anyone up before I get there. I mean what if they all hate me."

"I'm sure you'll be ok" I smile while reassuringly squeezing her hand.

"I hope so" she smiles back.

"Everyone will love you because you're a pretty awesome person" I tell her genuinely.

"Thanks" she smiles again.

XXX

As the night went on, Santana seemed to be knocking back drink after drink. There really was no slowing down for her. I tried to nicely tell her quite a few times to maybe pace herself a bit more but now I think I need to put my foot down. I know it's not up to me how much she drinks but she's getting herself into a state right now so I only want the best for her because I care about her.

"Honey…come on let's take a break from drinking" I say while taking the glass from her hand.

"I don't want to stop just yet" she pouts.

"I know but you've already had a lot and it's still really early so maybe take a little break right now" I say trying to reason with her.

"No" she shakes her head while trying to get off the chair before stumbling towards me when she can't keep herself upright.

"I think you've had enough Santana, let's go back to your place now" I tell her while trying to keep her upright in my arms.

"There's an offer I can't refuse" she smirks.

"Calm yourself down please" I laugh.

"You're so beautiful Brittany" she slurs while patting me on the head.

"And you're so drunk Santana" I smirk.

"Ok so maybe I've had a few more drinks than I should have" she states.

"You have so let's go back to yours" I say while walking us over to the door.

"Taxi!" Santana suddenly screams when we get outside.

"I don't quite think they heard you" I say sarcastically teasing her.

"Did they not...Taxi!" she screams again.

"Honey I was joking" I say laughing. "Look there's one over here so let's get that. Will you manage to walk over there with me?"

"With you, I'll manage anything" she winks before kissing my cheek.

"Ok" I chuckle nervously. I mean I'm not opposed to a quick peck on the cheek but Santana is clearly drunk right now so I don't want her to do anything she doesn't want to like kissing me or whatever.

"Are we going home then?" Santana asks looking up at me intently.

"Yeah, sorry" I apologise before helping Santana across the road. We get into the cab and head straight to Santana's place. As soon as we get inside I help her to her bedroom and place her on her bed.

"You should have let me pay for the cab" Santana states while falling back on the bed.

"Honestly it's fine plus I don't think you'd have managed to get anything out of your purse with the state you're in" I smirk.

"In my sexy state you mean?" she winks at me.

"No you're drunk state honey" I reply.

"You keep saying that but I don't think I'm even that drunk" she says rolling her eyes playfully at me.

"Ok well how many fingers am I holding up?" I ask to test her while holding up 3 fingers.

"It's a little blurry so I'll say two" she shrugs.

"It was 3 honey" I tell her.

"Well the three of them are very beautiful" she replies causing me to laugh.

"Why are you laughing, am I funny?" she asks, pleased with herself that she can make me laugh.

"You are funny, yes" I nod.

"Speaking of funny, tonight was fun wasn't it?" Santana giggles while beginning to strip off her clothes.

"I guess it was" I reply while quickly spinning around to give her some privacy.

"It's nothing you haven't seen before so don't be ashamed" she points out. "I'll have you know I'm still as hot as when we were together so it shouldn't repulse you."

"Nothing repulses me about you, I'm just being respectful" I say honestly. Drunk Santana might want to show me everything but sober Santana probably doesn't.

"Ok" she replies. We fall into a silence for a few minutes but I can still here her moving about so I assume she's still getting changed. "You can look now, I'm all done" she says so I turn around to find her lying in bed in her pyjamas.

"So…" I say slightly unsurely since I don't know what happens now. I mean do I leave her to go to sleep or should I stay and make sure she's ok since she's so drunk.

"Come and sit down with me, let's talk" she smiles while patting the empty spot on the bed next to her.

"Ok" I shrug before making my way over to the bed to sit next to her. We're silent for a moment or two and I can tell something seems up with her. "You look sad, what's on your mind?" I ask.

"You're pregnant Brittany" she points out as if we haven't established that fact before.

"I know I am" I smile.

"It's not mine" she sighs. "It should be mine but it's not."

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"We were supposed to have children together, we weren't meant to do this alone" she states. "I know I said I didn't want you before but I lied because I was scared. I want you now and you're not supposed to be pregnant yet. We're supposed to get back to a good place then get married and then have children."

"Santana…"

"This is so messed up right now" she shakes her head.

"I know it's not ideal but what can we do now?" I shrug. "What's done is done so we need to find a way forward in this."

"How do you suggest we do that?" she asks.

"I really don't know Santana. I don't know what to do for the best" I sigh. I honestly don't know what the best way forward in this situation is.

"I love you so much Brittany and I want us to work as a couple" she admits.

"That's all well and good but I'm pregnant now. I have a child to think about so I can only be with you if you're ok with the baby" I tell her.

"I am ok with that" she states. "I mean it's not easy right now but in time I will be ok with it and I'm going to be a good mom once this all sinks in."

"You want to be a mom to my baby?" I ask surprised.

"Well, yeah" she states as if it's obvious.

"I don't know what to say Santana" I say honestly.

"Say you're willing to give us a try" she pleads.

"Can you honestly do this Santana?" I ask.

"Be patient with me Brittany and I promise soon enough I'll be the one for you and our baby" she smiles. "Like I say I need a little time to digest things but I can do this."

"If we were to be together then what happens now?" I ask. I mean where would we stay, do we date first or go straight to being girlfriends.

"We can live in California together" she states. "I know I said before New York was the dream but I actually think you are. Things have changed recently and I've realised what an idiot I've been."

"We need to be really serious about making this work though especially with a baby involved" I tell her.

"I know Brittany and I'm serious about it, I promise you" she states.

"Ok" I nod.

"Come here" Santana smiles while pulling me closer to her. She gently places her hand on my cheek and kisses me softly.

* * *

Santana's POV

Oh my god my head is pounding right now. What the hell did I drink last night and how the hell did I even get changed to go to bed. I can't remember a thing about last night really. I mean I know Brittany and I went out for dinner and went to a few bars but apart from that I don't remember much. I have a slight recollection of us at home and talking but I don't know what it was about.

I'm just taking a few tablets for my head when I notice Brittany enter the room.

"Morning" Brittany says cheerily while brightly smiling as she walks into the kitchen.

"Too loud" I groan while putting my hands over my face.

"Are you a little hungover?" she asks while taking a seat next to me and removing my hands.

"Little is an understatement, my head is killing me" I shake my head.

"Come on, you'll live" she laughs before leaning in to kiss me. Oh shit, what the hell did I do last night because best friends don't kiss, especially not like that.

"Uh…yeah, I guess I will" I say nervously.

"What's wrong?" she asks looking at me.

"Nothing" I shrug but I think she can see right through me.

"You don't remember last night, do you?" she asks sadly.

"No…I…yeah I do" I nod.

"It's fine, don't worry about it if you have forgot" she shrugs but I can tell I've hurt her.

"I'm so sorry" I say honestly.

"So you don't remember anything then?" she asks.

"No" I shake my head. "I'm sorry Britt" I say apologetically.

"I don't mind if you don't remember, what worries me is that I don't know if you were actually serious about what you said" she admits.

"What exactly did I say last night then?" I ask interested. I know how I feel about things but whether I actually blurted them out or just told part of it I don't know.

"You said you still wanted to be with me and once things settle down then you want to raise the baby with me. You said that we can all live here together and you'll help me find something to do if dancing isn't what I want right now" she replies.

"Wow I have some serious balls when I'm drunk don't I?" I chuckle nervously.

"Santana if you were just drunk and saying a bunch of shit that you don't mean then I need to know" Brittany says worriedly.

"Trust me Brittany, I meant all that" I say honestly as a few things come back to me about last night. "I was too nervous to tell you all of that but I guess getting drunk gave me some confidence to do it" I admit.

"So you actually want us to work out and you're willing to raise a baby with me?" she asks to clarify.

"Yeah" I nod. "Like I say I'm still processing things but once they sink in a little more and I get my head around things then it'll be ok. I just need you to be patient with me right now."

"I will be, I promise" she smiles.

"Ok so we're good now?" I ask to make sure.

"Yeah we're good" Brittany nods.

"So last night, did we…uh…you know?" I ask embarrassed.

"You wanted to but I stopped you because it would be like I was taking advantage of you. Whether or not you meant what you said last night, we hadn't even been together an hour so I couldn't risk ruining things already" she admits.

"I'm glad we didn't do anything because I don't want it to be like that. I want us to start off properly and not with a drunken fumble that leaves us both embarrassed" I say honestly.

"Yeah" Brittany smiles.


	10. Same people, new life

Apologies if the chapter wasn't available when it indicated I had uploaded. I had originally uploaded the chapter but realised I made a mistake so I had to take it down to fix it.

* * *

Chapter 10: Same people, new life

Santana's POV

It's my first day on the TV show that I'm going to be working on and to say I am nervous would be a major understatement. I've never been so terrified in all my life before. I mean what if everyone hates me or I'm not even that good at acting. I've done a few things before but nothing like this where I would be in the main cast. Don't get me wrong I'm happy I'm doing something different with my life but I'm also scared I'll fail.

"Morning" Brittany smiles brightly while walking into the kitchen where I am.

"Morning" I reply nervously.

"I'm getting some breakfast, do you want me to make you some?" she asks.

"No thank you" I shake my head and Brittany nods in response. "I think I'm just going to go for a shower now" I say before leaving.

As soon as I finished up in the shower, I headed to my bedroom to do my hair and get changed. It took me ages to figure out the right thing to wear because I want to make a good impression today but I also don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard. I've eventually settled on something sophisticated yet hot. Once I'm ready, I head back to the kitchen where Brittany still is.

"Do I look ok do you think?" I ask Brittany.

"Yeah you look great" she smiles.

"Thanks" I say before taking a deep breath to try and relax. "I should go now but I'll see you later" I say.

"Ok" Brittany smiles before leaning over to kiss my cheek.

"Wish me luck" I chuckle nervously.

"You'll be fine, you don't need luck" Brittany says waving it off.

"Ok" I smile at her.

"I'll see you later anyway" she says.

"Yeah, see you later" I say before leaving.

I can feel my hands shaking on the steering wheel the whole drive there. I don't think I've been this nervous about a job before but I guess being nervous is a good thing. It's shows that I care about it I guess.

XXX

I'm finally home now after my first day on set and I've got to say I'm so relieved right now. Don't get me wrong I liked it, it's just I am so happy the first day is over and my nerves have settled somewhat. We've got another hard day tomorrow but I'm not as concerned because I met most of the cast and crew today and they all seem really nice.

I texted Brittany when I was leaving so being the awesome person she is, she had dinner ready for me coming home which I thought was so sweet. Not only that though, what else was really sweet was how she waited to eat with me so I wasn't alone.

"Dinner is really nice Britt" I say as we sit together eating dinner.

"I'm glad you like it" she replies quietly.

"Are you ok?" I ask realising she has been really quiet all day.

"I'm fine, it's nothing really" she says trying to wave it off.

"Talk to me Britt" I say putting my cutlery down so I can give her my full attention.

"This is awkward for you isn't it?" Brittany asks.

"What's that?" I ask slightly confused.

"You and me…it's awkward for you isn't it?" she replies.

"Of course it's not awkward" I smile while reassuringly squeezing her hand.

"It has to be with the way you're acting around me" she says. "I mean I know we decided last night we'd date first and stuff but I can tell it's a bit awkward and you're nervous around me."

"I'm not nervous around you" I frown in confusion. "I mean yes some things will take time to sink in but I'm content with where we are just now."

"But you were acting so weird this morning" she states.

"Oh no Britt, I was nervous about my first day at work today not about us" I reassure her. "Honestly I didn't mean to give you the impression it was you, I'm sorry."

"So we are good then?" she asks for clarification.

"Of course we are" I smile.

"Ok" she nods. "So moving on, how was your first day?" she asks.

"It was actually really good. I met most of the cast and crew and they all seem like great people too" I say. "It wasn't too hard a day, we basically just got to know one another and did a table read of the first episode. Tomorrow is going to be quite hectic though so I have no idea what time I will be home."

"That's ok, you can just text me when you're done" she replies.

"Yeah I will" I smile. "So what about yourself, what are your plans now?" I ask. I know Brittany is pregnant and everything right now but she's also not someone to sit around all day. I figured she might have something in the pipeline at the moment.

"I don't really have plans right now" Brittany sighs. "It's not what I want but I don't know what else I could do apart from dancing. I mean I do have some friends that want me to help them choreograph a show they're doing but when that's done and I'm really pregnant, what am I meant to do?"

"I don't know Britt" I say. I know it doesn't help but I honestly don't know what else she could do. It's like our lives have switched right now. I used to be the one unsure of everything while Brittany did well with her dancing but it's like I have this TV show now and Brittany is falling out of love with dance.

"I really haven't thought this through very well" she sighs in annoyance.

"Hey maybe you should think about acting" I suggest. "It doesn't have to be on a show or anything, you could do a commercial or something like that."

"Yeah I mean it is a possibility" she nods thinking about the idea.

"Like you say though, you're helping your friends choreograph something at the moment so that'll keep you going for a little bit" I say.

"Yeah exactly" she replies.

* * *

Brittany's POV

Santana and I are going on our first proper date tonight and I'm so excited. It's been about a week since we agreed to be together but tonight we've finally found some time to make things a little more official and have a proper date.

Santana was working today but she's got the day off tomorrow and I was helping my friends for a little bit today and managed to take time off tomorrow. We're both currently in our rooms getting ready for the date. It's actually quite funny because even though we're together now we haven't discussed the sleeping situation. I mean maybe we should be sharing a room now, I don't know.

I'm in the middle of picking out what to wear tonight when I hear someone knock on the door. I'm not appropriately dressed right now to answer so I'm hoping Santana will get it.

"Santana there's someone at the door" I shout through. I go back to getting ready but after a few seconds there is another knock at the door. "Santana, the door!" I say louder while moving to the hall to see if I can hear Santana in her room. I wait for a second but whoever it is just keeps knocking. "I guess I'll answer it then" I say shaking my head before walking over to the door. As soon as I open it, my whole face lights up.

"Hi" Santana smiles while handing me a large bunch of flowers.

"Wow, these are lovely. What are they for?" I ask as she walks into the apartment.

"For you" she smiles. "It's only right I bring you some flowers before our second first date together and it seemed quite nice to make it out as if I've came here to pick you up for the date if I were to knock on the door" she tells me.

"You really didn't need to get me flowers though" I say honestly.

"I know but I wanted to" she smiles. "Don't get too used to it though because I don't know if I could keep up with buying you flowers and gifts all the time" she chuckles.

"That's ok, I don't expect you to do that" I say genuinely while smiling at her.

"Ok" she nods.

"By the way, I had no idea you even left the apartment. I was shouting on you to answer the door because I wasn't fully dressed yet" I tell her.

"I did think I heard you shouting on me" she points out laughing.

"Anyway I love the flowers so thank you again" I say while leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"You're welcome…again" she smiles.

"So when do we need to be at the restaurant because I'm not quite ready yet?" I ask.

"We don't need to be there for a while yet so take your time" she replies. "Why don't I put these flowers in water for you anyway and you can get ready?"

"Ok, thank you" I smile before going back to my room to finish getting ready. As soon as I am ready, I meet Santana in the living room and then we leave. Santana gets us a cab and then we head to the restaurant she has booked.

"So we haven't really been in LA long so I haven't worked out the best restaurants yet but the reviews for this one seemed good so hopefully we'll have a nice meal" Santana says as we walk into the restaurant.

"Even if the food is horrible, I'll still have a good time because I'll have good company" I smile at her.

"Well I am awesome so I'm not surprised" Santana jokes.

"I said you were good company, not awesome" I tease.

"You've said many times before that I'm awesome so there's no point pretending I'm not" she smirks.

"Ok" I smile.

"Good evening ladies" the host greets us.

"Hi" Santana smiles, "I reserved a table for two under Lopez."

"No problem" the hosts says while checking the reservations book. "Your table is over by the window here, just follow me."

"Thank you" Santana smiles politely before following the host over to our table. When we get there, Santana rushes over and pulls out one of the chair for me.

"Thanks" I smile at her while taking a seat. Santana then sits across from me.

"The waiter will be over in a second to take your drinks order" the host smiles before leaving.

"So what do you think of this place?" Santana asks as we look over the menus.

"It's really nice and that's a lovely view outside that we can see from the window" I reply. "The candles and the lighting in here are nice too, it makes it seem quite romantic actually" she smiles.

"Who knew I could be so romantic huh?" Santana chuckles.

"Oh come on, you've always been kinda romantic" I say honestly.

"I never really thought I was, I always found you to be the more romantic one of the two of us" she replies.

"Let's just say we're both a little romantic" I smile and Santana nods.

"Hi there, can I get you some drinks?" a waiter asks as he approaches our table.

"Yes please" Santana replies. "We'll take a bottle of your most expensive sparkling water please and two glasses."

"Would that be a fruity flavoured one or a different kind?" the waiter asks.

"Whichever is the most expensive" Santana replies and the waiter nods before leaving. "Sorry I should have asked you first, are you ok with fizzy water?"

"I'm good with whatever you decide" I say honestly.

"Ok" Santana smiles.

"So have you decided what you're going to eat?" I ask while looking up from my menu.

"I'm not sure yet, you?" she asks.

"I'm not sure either but I was thinking we could do what we used to do when we went to restaurants. We could order two dishes and share them both" I suggest.

"That sounds good, let's do that" Santana smiles. "So what are we thinking then?" she asks.

"Call me boring or unromantic but I did kinda want pizza" I say honestly.

"Pizza sounds good to me too" Santana smiles. "How about we just share pizza and get some kind of salad" she suggests.

"Yeah that sounds good" I nod. Once the waiter comes over with the water, we order our food and then sit back and relax to just talk while we wait.

"I was just thinking back the other day about how I used to love it when we went out on dates and stuff. We should totally make this a regular thing" Santana replies.

"What like weekly date nights?" I ask.

"Yeah, why not?" she smiles.

"As much as I would like that, I don't know how much time we'll get in the beginning when the baby comes" I point out.

"Yeah I suppose" Santana replies quietly.

"It doesn't mean we can't make up for it before then though" I smirk.

"That's true" she shrugs.

"Here we go ladies" the waiter says as he places our food down on the table in front of us. "Can I get either of you anything else?" he asks.

"Do you want any dressing for the salad or any spice for the pizza?" Santana asks me while looking over at me.

"I'm not too bothered about anything but if you want something then go ahead" I reply.

"No we're fine thank you" Santana replies to the waiter and then he leaves.

"I guess we should dig in then" I smile at Santana before cutting two slices of pizza and putting them on our plates.

"Thank you" she smiles back at me and we begin eating. We're relatively quiet to begin with because we're both hungry but we eventually start talking again.

"Hey can you remember much about our first first date?" I ask.

"Yeah I can remember everything about it" Santana replies, blushing slightly.

"Me too" I reply smiling. "I think I probably remember everything about us. From first dates to falling in love to every time you made my heart melt."

"I don't think I have forget anything either" Santana says thinking about it.

"Hey do I get a kiss at the end of this date like I did at our first first date?" I ask teasingly.

"Maybe, it's depends if you're good for the remainder of the date" Santana smirks.

"I'll be on my best behaviour, don't you worry" I assure her.

"Then I guess you'll get a kiss" she smiles.

XXX

As soon as we finished dinner, we decided to just head back to the apartment and hang out. We were thinking about going somewhere else but we figured since this was the first night in a while where we could relax together then we might as well do it in comfort at home.

We've just finished watching a movie so now we're deciding what to do next. I had suggested another movie but Santana was getting a little bit bored with that.

"Why don't we just talk, catch up you know" Santana suggests.

"Ok" I shrug. "What shall we talk about?" I ask.

"I don't know, anything" Santana replies.

"Well maybe we should talk about us" I say. "We've had our first date again so where do we go from here?" I ask.

"Its kind of hard to say because we already live together which isn't normal for a couple when they've just had a first date" she replies. "At the same time though I want us to live together, I mean I couldn't imagine you not being here right now."

"Yeah I feel the same" I say agreeing with her. "I did want to ask though, are we staying in separate rooms for the time being or do you think we should share?" I ask.

"I hadn't actually given that a thought so I don't know" she admits.

"I know we've just started dating again but like you say I already live here plus we've been together before. It's not exactly foreign territory right now since we both love each other and have been a couple before" I tell her.

"I know but we want things to work this time so we want to do things the right way" she points out.

"We will though" I say. "I just think we could maybe step things up a little more because we haven't even kissed properly yet."

"Well we could change that" Santana smirks at me while moving closer.

"I think that's a good idea" I smirk back.

"Good" Santana smiles before leaning in to kiss me. I just love the feeling of Santana's lips on mine and I've missed it so much. As the kiss heats up, my hands start wandering under her shirt and I begin caressing her back.

"This feels so good" I mumble into the kiss.

"Wait a second…" Santana says pulling away and shaking her head.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I think we should take things slow because we don't want to rush this because it means a lot to both of us. Plus we're committed to each other so we have loads of time to just enjoy taking things at a nice pace" Santana replies.

"Ok" I nod. I don't necessarily agree that we need to go quite that slow but I'll do anything to be with Santana so if we need to go slow then fine.

"It's getting late now actually so I might just head to bed" Santana says.

"Yeah I suppose I should too" I reply.

"We should do something nice together tomorrow though since we both have the day off" Santana suggests while standing up.

"Yeah I'd like that" I smile.

"We can decide in the morning what we do" she smiles back.

"Ok" I nod.

"So goodnight Britt" Santana says leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Night Santana" I smile and then she heads to bed. I spend a little more time watching TV before going to bed.

* * *

I'm having one of the best dreams I've ever had right now where I'm filthy rich, living in a mansion and Santana and I are married with 4 children and we couldn't be happier. Just as I'm about to take a nice romantic stroll along our private beach with Santana, I'm awoken by a loud bang in the apartment. I jolt up in bed at the noise before looking around to make sure it's not something in my bedroom. When I realise it isn't, I get out of bed and make my way to find Santana.

"I'm so sorry, did I wake you?" Santana says apologetically as she notices me walking into the kitchen.

"Yeah but it's ok" I smile at her.

"I was trying to make breakfast for us and I was looking for the spatula and couldn't find it. I clearly haven't unpacked properly because things aren't where they're supposed to be" she sighs. "Anyway that's not the point, what is though is that I couldn't find it so I started raking through the cupboards and ended up knocking over a bunch of pots and pans causing a loud bang."

"Did you find it eventually?" I ask while helping her tidy up.

"I did so as long as the pancakes haven't burned already then we'll be able to have a nice breakfast" she smiles before going over to the cooker.

"Oh did you make pancakes for us?" I ask getting excited since they're one of my favourite things to have for breakfast.

"I did because I knew you loved them" she smiles.

"What are we having with them?" I ask.

"Whatever you want" she smiles. "I can make some bacon if you want that and some maple syrup or you can have something else."

"I'll just have whatever you want" I reply.

"Ok" she shrugs before going back to make the pancakes.

Once the pancakes are ready, we sit down to eat together. Santana did want to tidy up a little first but I managed to persuade her to eat first.

"So what are our plans for today then?" Santana asks looking over at me.

"I don't know, what do you want to do?" I ask.

"It's a nice morning so we could go for a walk or we could treat ourselves and do some shopping" she suggests.

"I think a walk might be nice because we haven't actually explored the area all that much since we moved here" I say.

"Sounds good" Santana smiles. "I might just tidy up the dishes and then take a quick shower and then we can head out" she says while lifting our plates over to the sink.

"Ok but let me help you" I say while going over to the sink. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her cheek. "Or we could just leave them and tidy up later" I suggest.

"No it's probably best we just tidy up just now" she replies.

"Um…ok" I shrug. I don't want to overanalyse anything but I am getting a slight feeling something is off with Santana. Don't get me wrong she's perfectly pleasant to me but whenever I go near her she seems to get a little bit awkward. I mean this just now and then yesterday after we kissed.

"You can go and get ready if you want. There really isn't much to tidy up" she says turning around to look at me.

"Ok, sure" I say before making my way to my room to get ready.

* * *

Santana's POV

The last few days at work have been quite busy so I'm looking forward to this afternoon so Brittany and I can just hang out. I've really missed her the last few days because I leave early in the morning for work and then Brittany is out pretty late helping her friends with their new show. Initially I thought she was just doing a favour for her friends but it seems she's actually getting paid to help.

I'm thinking of cooking a nice dinner tonight for the two of us and I might light a few candles and make it really romantic but right now I just want to hang out with her.

"Britt, where are you?" I shout through the apartment when I can't seem to find her.

"Living room" she quietly replies so I make my way there.

"Hey you ok?" I ask walking into the room. There was something slightly odd about the way she spoke.

"Not really actually" Brittany sighs in response.

"Why what's wrong?" I ask in concern while sitting down on the couch next to her.

"I have this really weird stomach cramp and I'm beginning to get really worried about it now. I had some light bleeding earlier but I read that was common in early pregnancy but now I'm not so sure" she admits worriedly.

"Let's go to the hospital then and get it checked out" I suggest.

"Ok" she nods. I stand up and then lean down to help Brittany get up.

"Is it really sore?" I ask.

"Not excruciating but enough to annoy me" she replies.

"Ok well we'll still get it checked out anyway" I say while taking her arm and helping her through to the door. "Do you need a sweater or anything before we go?" I ask.

"No thank you" she replies quietly.

"Ok let's go then" I say while we leave the apartment. As soon as we get in the car, I drive off quickly. I mean not quickly enough to get caught speeding but a decent speed so we get to the hospital as soon as we can.

"Do you think I'm losing the baby?" she asks looking at me worriedly. I want to reassure her so bad right now but at the same time things aren't looking too good. I can't give her false hope and say it'll be ok in case it won't but I also hate seeing Brittany upset.

"Um…" I don't know what to say.

"If you think I am then I'd rather you tell me so I can prepare myself" she states.

"Look…Britt, I really don't know but what I will say is that this situation is slightly alarming so there is a possibility you could lose the baby" I admit.

"I thought that too" she replies nodding in agreement.

XXX

We're finally seeing Brittany's doctor now and she's going to check Brittany over. I thought I was nervous when I started my job for the first time but god nothing compares to this right now. What the hell is going to happen if we lose this baby? I can't bear to see Brittany so upset but that's going to happen if we lose the baby and it's going to tear me apart.

"I'm losing my baby aren't I?" Brittany asks worriedly while looking at the doctor.

"Let's not jump to conclusions and take a look at the scan first" the doctor says taking a seat near Brittany. "So if you just want to lift your shirt up a bit and have your pants pushed down so I can do your scan. I'm going to insert the probe into you now, it might be a little uncomfortable but it won't hurt" she says to her.

"Ok" Brittany nods while rolling up her shirt.

"Should I leave?" I ask in case Brittany wants some privacy.

"You can if you want to" she replies quietly.

"Do you want me to stay?" I ask.

"I did" she nods while replying quietly again.

"Ok I'll stay then" I smile while walking back over to stand next to Brittany.


	11. Heartbreak

Chapter 11: Heartbreak

Santana's POV

Brittany and I are anxiously waiting on the doctor finishing up the tests on Brittany. I have no idea what's going on but what I do know is that it doesn't look good. The doctor has barely said anything but she doesn't look very happy. Brittany hasn't said anything either, she is just sitting with a blank expression across her face. I have a tight hold of her hand and I'm absolutely terrified but I want to stay strong for Brittany because if it is bad news I know she's going to be very upset.

"Are you almost done because the quietness is unsettling and it's making things feel worse?" I ask looking at the doctor.

"Yes I'm almost there" she replies.

"Ok" I nod. After a few more seconds the doctor speaks up again.

"I'm sorry Brittany but I'm finding it difficult to locate a heartbeat, I'm afraid you've had a miscarriage" the doctor replies sympathetically.

"Oh god" I say shaking my head. "Are you absolutely sure?" I ask.

"I am, I'm sorry" the doctor replies.

"I need to go home" Brittany says while sorting her clothes and jumping off the table. She's talking as if nothing has happened.

"Honey let's just take a second" I say.

"Why?" she shrugs looking at me. "I'm not pregnant anymore so I don't need to stick around" she says while heading to the door.

"Brittany wait a second please" the doctor says. "I understand you're upset but I need to talk to you about a few things before you go."

"I'm not upset, I'm fine" she shrugs. I don't know who she's trying to fool or why she's pretending like everything is ok.

"I still need to talk to you Brittany" the doctor replies.

"Ok, fine" Brittany sighs while sitting down.

"You've had an incomplete miscarriage Brittany which means…"

"I know what it means thank you" Brittany states interrupting the doctor.

"Ok well I'd still like to say a few things about it" the doctor says. "Ok so there's still some tissue left in your uterus at the moment but I think the best way forward is to just let it pass on it's own. Usually these things don't need any further intervention but if you are still bleeding and have cramping after 7-14 days then I would like you to come back and see me."

"Will you have to treat it if that happens?" I ask.

"In most cases it will pass on it's own but sometimes women do need medication or surgery if the body struggles to pass it on it's own" the doctor replies.

"Ok I understand" I nod. "Are you listening Britt?" I ask when I realise she isn't paying attention.

"Like I said, I know what an incomplete miscarriage is" Brittany states.

"Ok" I say squeezing her hand in reassurance.

"I would also like you to take a home pregnancy test in a few weeks to double check that you're not pregnant" the doctor advises. "If it does indicate you are still pregnant then please come and see me as soon as possible."

"Ok" Brittany sighs.

"Also if you need any support then don't hesitate to get in touch with us. We have a great counselling team here if you need…"

"No that won't be necessary" Brittany shakes her head.

"Ok" the doctor nods.

"Can I go now?" Brittany asks.

"Yes you can" the doctor smiles.

"Thank you" I say and then we leave.

"That wasn't exactly the day out I thought we would have today" Brittany sighs as we walk along the corridor.

"I know babe" I say sadly while squeezing her hand. "Come on, let's go home" I say while leading her out to the car.

As soon as we get into the car, I drive straight home. Brittany doesn't say a thing the whole drive back to the apartment, she just sits with her head leaning against the window. Every time I open my mouth to talk, I quickly close it again because I doubt I'd say the right thing.

Once we get into the apartment, Brittany goes over to the couch and sits down. She doesn't say anything she just puts her feet up on the table and leans her head back, taking a deep breath.

"We didn't have any lunch earlier, can I make you something to eat?" I ask walking over to her.

"I'm not hungry right now but you have something" she replies quietly.

"Ok" I nod. I've been feeling a bit light headed since we left the hospital so I quickly make myself a sandwich. "Are you sure I can't even get you a snack or something, like maybe some fruit?"

"No thank you" she shakes her head.

"Ok" I reply.

"I think I might just go for a lie down if you don't mind" she says while standing up from the couch.

"No that's fine" I smile.

"Ok" she says before heading off to her room.

As soon as I'm finished my lunch, I tidy up and then decide to check on Brittany. When I walk into the room, I see her lying in bed with her back to the door. I quietly walk over and lie on the bed behind her. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the side of her cheek.

"I hate this feeling" she mumbles.

"I know, me too" I reply. I've been through some hard times before but I've never lost a baby and it's one of the most horrible things.

"I knew something bad was going to happen because I was just too happy" Brittany sighs. "I finally had you and we were living together and I was having a baby which I always wanted so I knew something bad would happen because life is not always this good."

"Honey…" I hug her tighter. I don't know how to handle this right now because whatever I say isn't going to make a difference right now because she has just lost a baby.

"Life really sucks sometimes" she shakes her head.

"Tell me about it" I mumble.

"You don't need to lie with me you know, I'll be fine" she states.

"I want to make sure you're ok so I'm going to stay" I tell her.

"Well I'm not ok, I've just lost my baby" she replies.

"I know so I want to comfort you and try to help in any way that I can" I say honestly.

"I don't think anything can help me right now" she says while moving out of my hold to sit upright on the bed. I move too and put my arm around her.

"Maybe not but I don't think being left alone is a good idea either because you'll end up replaying it in your mind and that'll make you feel worse" I say.

"Can I ask you a question?" she asks.

"Yeah of course" I nod.

"Are you happy?" she asks looking at me.

"What in general or…?" I ask.

"Yeah in general, are you happy with me or did you just settle for me because it was too hard to get Dani back?" she asks.

"Of course I'm happy with you Brittany. Dani was never right for me and I was only with her because I didn't think I could have you. I tried to settle for her because I didn't think you and I could be together but we can" I say honestly.

"If you are happy with me then why have you been acting off with me at times?" she asks and I frown in confusion because I didn't think I had been. "One minute we're fine and the next you pull away from me and seem awkward."

"I didn't know I was doing that, I'm sorry" I say genuinely.

"You're sitting in bed with me right now but had I asked you to do that last night then you'd have probably said no" she states.

"I don't see why I wouldn't sit in bed with you" I frown in confusion.

"You pulled away from me the other night when we were kissing and you told me it's best we don't share a room right now. I definitely think you would have said no" she replies.

"Brittany I just wanted us to take things slow because I don't want to rush anything. I want us to have time to enjoy the little things again instead of just jumping straight back into things" I say honestly. I didn't mean to seem distant at times, I just wanted that fun feeling back where everything is new and exciting. We're getting another chance of being together so I want to cherish every moment of that.

"Deep down I don't think you wanted a baby with me" she says looking at me.

"That's not true" I shake my head. "I've always wanted kids, especially with you" I tell her.

"Yes but I don't think you wanted this baby with me right now" she states.

"I mean if you're asking if I was scared then yes I was but it doesn't mean I didn't want this" I point out.

"Tell me the truth, is a little part of you glad now that there's no baby?" she asks.

"Like hell I'm glad Brittany, how could you ask me something like that?" I question annoyed. Ok saying something like that is a step too far.

"Because deep down you didn't really want all this, you just wanted me" she replies.

"I'll admit I was struggling but I would never wish anyone to miscarry, god Brittany" I say shaking my head.

"Then why are you all over me now that you know I'm not pregnant" she states.

"Seriously what is your problem?" I ask while glaring at her.

"Answer the question please" she states.

"I'm not all over you, I am trying to comfort you because it was very sad what happened today" I say honestly.

"You were barely interested in me when I was pregnant and now that I'm not you're getting closer to me than we've even been in years" she states.

"I just said I am trying to comfort you" I say shaking my head getting annoyed with this conversation. I know Brittany is upset but what she's saying isn't fair.

"Just you keep telling yourself that" she says cheekily.

"I lost that baby too Brittany, it wasn't just you" I snap.

"You were never that into the baby though when we got together. Any time I tried to talk about it, you went quiet or changed the subject" she states.

"I'm 22 Brittany, I hadn't planned on being a mother that young so yes I did struggle a little but it didn't mean I didn't want the baby" I tell her honestly.

"Why did you not just tell me that then?" she asks.

"You know I'm not good at talking about how I feel" I state.

"Yes but this wasn't solely about you and me anymore. There was a baby involved so you should have tried to talk about it" Brittany replies.

"Look its all ifs and buts now. We can't change how I handled things but what we need to do now is find a way through this together" I tell her.

"I know but right now I'm pissed and upset so I don't know if I want to keep talking about things" she says taking a deep breath.

"Ok so does that mean you want me to give you some space right now?" I ask.

"Yeah" she nods.

"Ok, I'll be in the living room if you need me" I say while getting off the bed.

* * *

The last few days have been quite awkward between Brittany and I. I've tried to give her space to process things but it's been hard because all I want to do is hug her when she's upset. I know maybe I haven't dealt with things the right way when we first got together but I never wanted the baby gone. Eventually I would have been more comfortable with things and I would have loved that baby like I loved Brittany.

I've just finished work and I'm now parking the car outside of our apartment. I can't say I'm looking forward to going inside because I hate the awkwardness between Brittany and me. We've talked a little about things that we need to discuss since we live together but it hasn't been that meaningful. It's mostly just 'are you finished in the bathroom' or 'can I make you some dinner'.

As soon as I walked into the apartment, Brittany is standing with her back to me while leaning over writing something on a notepad on the table. When something catches my eye in the corner, my heart starts beating faster in fear.

"Oh my god, you're leaving me?" I ask shocked as I notice Brittany's suitcase by the door and what I'm guessing is a goodbye note on the table.

"Jesus, you gave me a fright" Brittany says spinning around to face me while clutching her chest. "I didn't even hear you come in the door."

"Brittany don't make such a rash decision like this right now. We can talk things through and you'll understand my point of view on everything that's happened" I say while rushing over to her to stop her from leaving.

"Santana just relax please" she says while taking my hand in hers.

"I can't relax if you're leaving me" I say feeling panicked.

"Honey I am leaving but it's only for a few days and I'm not leaving you" she states.

"Oh" I say embarrassed feeling a bit of a fool.

"I need to go to New York to check on the progress with the hotel" she replies.

"Let me come with you then" I say.

"Santana I will come back" she says trying to reassure me.

"What if you don't" I say scared.

"Santana I'm not that stupid" she shakes her head. "I love you and I'm not going anywhere with regards us. This is purely a business thing."

"Ok" I nod.

"That doesn't mean I'm not still upset and confused about this whole thing" she admits.

"I get that" I reply.

"Like I say though, you and I are still together. We're just going through a rough patch right now but I'm sure we'll figure it out" she says optimistically.

"So when are you leaving?" I ask.

"Right now, that's why I was writing a note because I couldn't wait any longer until you got home. My flight is really soon so I need to get going" she replies.

"Ok well let me grab a bottle of water for the ride and I'll drive you" I say while running over to the fridge.

"It's ok, I have a cab waiting on me outside" she tells me.

"Oh" I say sadly. I thought if I took her to the airport then it'd give us some time to talk on the way there. Maybe clear the air slightly before she leaves for a few days.

"I've already put my phone on flight mode so I'll give you a call when I land" she says.

"Yes please make sure you do" I say.

"I will but do get some sleep because it'll be in the middle of the night when I get there" she smiles. "So…uh…can I get a hug please?" she asks nervously.

"Of course" I smile before hugging her tightly. "I'll see you soon" I tell her.

"Yeah, goodbye" she says pulling out of the hug before picking up her bags. I then walk her out to the cab and we quickly kiss before she gets in and gets driven away.

After making myself something to eat and taking a quick shower since it was a long day at work, I relax in front of the TV. I'm scared if I go to bed then I might miss Brittany calling so I decide it's better to just cuddle up on the sofa.

I must have dosed off for a little bit because one minute I'm dreaming of something then the next my phone starts vibrating in my lap. I quickly sit up and look at my phone. As soon as I see it's Brittany, I pick it up right away.

 _"_ _Hello"_ I answer.

 _"_ _Hey it's me, I'm just calling to say I landed safely"_ Brittany replies. _"I can't talk long though because I've got a meeting at the hotel right away. You'd think they'd let me sleep a little or something first but apparently not."_

 _"_ _Already, isn't it like 5am or something where you are?"_ I ask surprised.

 _"_ _It is but it's quieter to have a meeting early before the morning rush"_ she replies.

" _Ok well can I call you later then?"_ I ask.

 _"_ _Yeah that'll be fine, I'll speak to you later"_ she replies and then we both hang up. I'm satisfied now that Brittany has landed ok so I think I'm just going to head to bed and get some sleep before work.

* * *

Brittany's POV

I've just finished my meeting at the hotel so I'm making my way up to my room to rest for a little while. Late in the afternoon, I'm finally going to sign the papers to say I own part of the hotel so I'm happy now that things seem to be moving at an appropriate pace. The only thing about now and then is that I have too much time alone which is only going to make me think about everything that's going on at home.

I know how I've been treating Santana is wrong but I can't help feeling this way. She was always so awkward when we talked about the baby and now it's not here she's all over me. Its fine to comfort someone but this feels more than that.

I love Santana so much and I obviously still wants us to be together, I just hope this feeling goes away soon because it's driving a wedge between us. We took long enough to get back together so I don't want any more delays.

Just as I'm about to lie down, I figure I might as well go and see if my mom is home. I don't think I was going to sleep anyway since I would be alone with just my thoughts so visiting my mom might help. If she isn't at home then I guess I'll just need to come back here. I quickly text her and luck seems to be on my side because she is at home. I quickly get ready and then go straight over there.

"So how are you sweetheart?" she asks while sitting down next to me and placing a cup of coffee in front of me.

"I guess I'm better than yesterday but still not great" I say honestly. My mom already knows about the miscarriage because I called her later that day that it happened.

"It will take time to feel better, it's only natural to be sad at this stage" she tells me.

"Can I ask you a question?" I say.

"You can ask me anything, I'm your mom and I'm here to help you" she smiles.

"Do you think Santana wanted that baby with me?" I ask. "Be truthful please" I say.

"Yes I do" my mom nods. "I was talking to her mom over the phone the other day and from what I heard she was pretty sad about losing the baby" she admits.

"She doesn't open up to me and I have this feeling she didn't want a baby right now" I say.

"From what her mom said it sounded like she was just scared but it didn't mean she was having doubts" she replies. "Santana is 22 Brittany and you're 26. I mean I know there's not a big age gap but at 22 did you want a baby?" she asks.

"At 22 I was trying to get Santana into bed" I laugh before quickly frowning when I realise I said that aloud.

"I didn't need to know that" my mom laughs.

"Sorry but anyway I think I get your point" I say.

"Honey from what I can see, you and Santana are only truly happy when you're together so don't let your mind run away from you. You were pregnant before you two got back together and she was willing to be a mom to that baby even though she was nothing to do with the process so to me that shows me just how much she cared" my mom says.

"I know and I'm not breaking up with her or anything like that. I guess I'm still just upset and projecting my feelings onto her because I don't know how else to handle them" I say honestly. "I can see she doesn't deserve that so as soon as I get home I'll make it up to her."

"Do you know I still can't get used to you saying LA is home" my mom smiles. "I know you travelled a lot but I always thought at the bottom of it all New York was your home."

"New York was good to me but I think LA is where I need to be now. It's giving Santana and me a whole new life and we need that, there's too many bad memories in New York. Don't get me wrong there's good ones too but in LA we can start completely fresh" I reply.

"I know and who knows, maybe your dad and I will move there too sometime" she smiles.

"Don't tease me like that mom" I tell her. I would love it more than anything if I could have my parents closer.

"I'm not teasing, we're actually thinking about it but obviously we have jobs and things here so it's not like immediately if we were to move" she replies honestly.

"I understand" I smile.

"Anyway, what's your plans for today?" she asks.

"I've got some hotel business to attend to and then a few other things to do over the next few days and then I fly back" I tell her. "Actually I think I better head back now because there's something I want to check before I speak to my lawyer this afternoon."

"Ok well we'll keep in touch" she smiles before hugging.

"Of course we will" I smile back. "I'll visit again before I head back to LA."

"Sounds good, I'll see you soon" she says and then I get ready and leave.

Being the nosy person I am, I want to go by Santana's apartment and see if anyone is living there now. I don't mean I'm going to go in there, I just want to see if there's any indication from the outside. Firstly though I'm going to get some coffee because I'm starting to feel sleepy and I don't have time for a nap anymore.

As soon as I get the coffee and I'm walking along the street, my heart starts beating faster with nerves. Straight in front of me walking in the opposite direction is Dani and I don't know what to do because there's nowhere to hide. She could look up any second and then she'd see me and I'd…oh shit she's seen me.

"Brittany Pierce" she smirks. "Where's the bestie, is she not with you today?" she asks.

"If you mean Santana then no, she's not here right now" I reply feeling slightly awkward.

"Speaking of her, I see you and her are together now" Dani states.

"Who told you that?" I ask nervously. I don't know if it's my place to confirm it or not because she's Santana's ex, not mine.

"Just some friends of mine that happen to still follow Santana on social media" she replies.

"I see" I nod in understanding.

"So it's true then?" she asks.

"What exactly did they see on social media?" I ask avoiding Dani's question. I mean I know Santana is always on twitter or Instagram but I didn't think she posted anything of me that would indicate we're together.

"Apparently she has posted a lot of her new roomie Brittany" she says.

"Well I am living with Santana at the moment" I tell her.

"Look I don't speak to Santana anymore so just tell me the truth, are you two together now?" she asks.

"Look…" I take a deep breath. "Santana and I weren't together that day in New York when you came to collect your stuff from the apartment but we are now, yes" I admit.

"Ok" she nods. I know she's still hurt by it by the look on her face but I don't think I should lie anymore.

"Neither one of us meant to hurt you in any of this" I say honestly. "I feel terrible about the way things have happened but I can't change the past now, we just need to look forward."

"You're not to blame in all of this, it's Santana" she states. "You didn't know I existed when Santana cheated with you but Santana knew what she was doing. You also didn't lie about loving Santana but she lied to me about you. She said she'd marry me and led me up the garden path when she didn't give a shit about me. You fought for what you wanted which was Santana and I admire that whereas Santana lied to both of us" she says angrily.

"Dani I know she hurt you but she did care about you" I say honestly. "The reason things went on so long is because she didn't want to hurt you but it unfortunately backfired."

"You can say what you want but Santana is a messed up individual" Dani states. "She'll hurt you eventually too" she says shaking her head.

"Like I say I know she hurt you but I'm not going to stand here and let you talk about her like that. Deep down Santana is the most amazing person you could ever meet and she was only trying to do what was best for you two even though it was misguided" I say.

"Do you know what, you two deserve each other? Honestly its ridiculous" she says shaking her head and laughing like it's absurd that Santana and I want to be together.

"I'm leaving now" I say while walking off. I don't need to listen to her bitterness anymore.

* * *

I'm sitting at the airport bored, waiting until I can get on my flight. I've got some time to kill so I'm just browsing on my phone when I get a text from Santana. I quickly open it and see what she has texted me.

From Santana: let me pick you up from the airport tonight

To Santana: the flight is delayed so I don't know when I'll get there. I don't want you to have to wait around so I'll just get a cab.

From Santana: no I want to pick you up

To Santana: ok fine

From Santana: if you're not there when I arrive then I'll go to the café and get some coffee and wait there

To Santana: ok

From Santana: my battery is dying a little so I better save it but I'll be there, ok

To Santana: see you later

Once we both stop texting, I just go back to browsing stuff on my phone. It's nothing in particular, I'm just trying to pass the time. Eventually I do get to board the plane which I'm really thankful about. What I'm not thankful about is the people sitting next to me or behind me. The idiots behind keep pushing my seat forward and the ones beside me think it's ok to elbow me and snore in my ear. I would have upgraded if I had the time but it was a last minute flight because I wasn't expecting to go to New York so soon so I booked the cheapest deal I could which would get me there and back as quickly as possible.

The minute I step off the plane, I rush to get outside because I just want to see Santana and get home.

"Hey" Santana smiles when I walk over to her.

"Hi" I reply while engulfing her in a big hug. "It's only been 3 days but I've missed you so much" I tell her honestly.

"I've missed you too, you have no idea" she says hugging me back tightly. We silently hug for a few moments before both pulling away.

"So where are you parked?" I ask.

"I found a space right outside so it's really not a far walk" she tells me taking a hold of my suitcase. "Let me get this for you" she says while pulling the case along.

"Thank you" I smile.

"Did you eat on the plane?" she asks.

"I didn't and I'm starving so what do you say we stop off and pick up some pizza on the way back" I say.

"Sounds like a good plan to me" she smiles.

Once we pick up some pizza, we head straight home. I throw my bags into my room, quickly change into something more comfortable and then meet Santana in the living room.

"Now that we're home and alone, maybe we should talk" she says while sitting down on the couch next to me while grabbing a slice of pizza.

"I agree" I nod. "Firstly though I just want to apologise for some of the things I said and the way I was treating you, it wasn't right" I say honestly.

"You have nothing to apologise for, it was me" Santana states.

"No I overreacted about the situation because I was upset" I say while moving closer to her.

"No you were right, I really wasn't ready for a baby" she replies. "I mean I do want kids with you, don't get me wrong. I just wasn't ready for them now and every time you mentioned the pregnancy it reminded me of us having a baby and I got scared."

"It's ok" I assure her. I mean I do understand because this was all me that made that decision before we got back together.

"It's not ok because that was an innocent baby and it was your baby" she says.

"Santana don't beat yourself up about this, it's honestly ok" I tell her.

"I was scared we wouldn't be us anymore when the baby came. I was so happy to be back together with you but at the same time I was worried we would change because we would be parents. We wouldn't be those young girls in love and having fun anymore" she says.

"I understand that" I say honestly because I do.

"I fell in love with you Brittany because of who you were and you fell for me because of who I was. I was worried that if the baby came before we got a chance to fully get back to where we used to be then we might never get there because we would have changed" she admits.

"Let's move on from this because it'll only annoy us if we keep thinking about it and going over things" I say.

"Ok" she nods. "We will have children one day though whenever the time is right, I promise" she tells me.

"I know" I smile.


	12. Getting back on track

Chapter 12: Getting back on track

Santana's POV

I'm fast asleep in bed when suddenly I hear a loud bang. I immediately wake up and start looking around the room to see where the noise has come from. When I realise it's not anything in the bedroom, I make my way through the apartment when I hear another noise coming from the kitchen. As soon as I walk into the room, I see Brittany down on the floor on her hands and knees picking things up off the floor.

"What are you up to Britt?" I ask causing her to turn around quickly in surprise. "Sorry did I give you a fright?"

"Yeah but its ok" she smiles while standing up. "I was looking for something and ended up knocking things over. I didn't wake you up did I?" she asks.

"You did but don't worry about it" I smile back. "So what are you doing up so early anyway?" I ask while yawning.

"I thought I might go for a run, do you want to come?" she replies.

"No I don't want to hold you back" I shake my head.

"I'm happy to wait if you want to come" she smiles. "I was going to get something to eat first anyway" she tells me.

"Ok well it won't do any harm to get a bit of exercise" I say.

"Good" Brittany nods.

"So what are we having to eat?" I ask curiously.

"I'm just making myself a fruit salad but if you don't want that then I can make you something else" Brittany suggests.

"No that sounds good to me" I smile.

"Ok" Brittany nods and then starts preparing breakfast.

XXX

"So what have you got planned for your day?" I ask as we take a gentle jog through the park. We were supposed to be running but it turned into more of a jog since we keep talking. To be honest though I didn't want it to be too strenuous for Brittany's sake because she has just had a miscarriage so easing into activity gently would be better.

"Basically I'm just going to be sitting at home trying to come up with ideas for work" she replies.

"Have you got any ideas so far?" I ask interested.

"Well maybe I should broaden my options a little more because I'm obviously not pregnant anymore so I don't need to limit myself at the moment" Brittany says.

"Is it dancing you want to do?" I ask.

"Yeah I mean dancing is what I've always wanted to do but I don't suppose I can do it forever so maybe finding a different career while I'm still young would be advantageous" Brittany admits. "There is the issue like I said before about not getting steady jobs at the moment so I think I should find something away from dancing" she states.

"Have you ever thought about acting?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah I have but nothing really materialised. I suppose I didn't really look into it that seriously" she admits.

"Perhaps acting is something to think about then" I shrug.

"Maybe I should just concentrate on the hotel for the time being" she states after a few minutes of silence. "I mean I know it's in New York and we're here but I should probably go back there for a few days" she says. I guess I hadn't really thought of what would happen with the hotel. I mean we moved here but I don't know if we ever figured out how things would happen because it's not like Brittany can just get up in the morning and go there.

"Maybe you could speak to some contacts you have to see if they have any acting things available. I mean you have been in TV shows before but they were dancing parts so maybe you could speak to someone and see if there's anything" I suggest.

"Maybe" she nods. "Anyway enough about me, what are you doing today?" she asks. "Are you working later?"

"Yeah we're shooting through the night tonight so I'll go in about 6pm and we'll be working right up until the morning tomorrow" I reply.

"Do you prefer that because it'll likely be quieter or would you rather shoot in the day?" she asks curiously.

"I don't mind either way to be honest" I shrug.

After spending some time together doing light exercise, we head back to the apartment. Brittany does some work on her laptop for the hotel and I go to bed. I would have liked to have spent time with Brittany but she had work to do and it probably was best I went to bed. I will have to stay up all night for work so getting some sleep would help.

We had dinner together an hour ago and Brittany said she'd clear up while I got ready for work so that's what we've been doing since. I'm all ready to go now so I make my way to the kitchen to let Brittany know.

"Hey, you ok?" she smiles.

"Yeah" I nod. "I need to go to work now though but I'll see you in the morning" I smile.

"Ok, have fun" Brittany smiles back.

"I'll try" I laugh. "Anyway, see you later" I say before leaving.

* * *

Over the last few days I've spent most of my time working at night so the times I see Brittany have been very few and far between. I usually sleep a lot of the day and then head to work at night while Brittany does what she needs to do in the day and obviously goes to bed at night. I do wish I could see Brittany more but this is a big opportunity for me and to be honest I think Brittany understands. I'm sure everything we've been through allows us to appreciate this kind of thing happening and how we'll get more time together eventually.

It's 7am right now and I've just parked my car outside the apartment building. As soon as I grab my things, I head inside to see if Brittany is up yet and see what her plans are for the rest of the day. When I walk in, I see Brittany sitting on a chair in the living room putting on her running shoes.

"Man I am so tired" I say while throwing myself to the couch.

"Long night was it?" Brittany asks.

"So long" I nod. "Anyway where are you going so early?" I ask. It maybe isn't that early for some but it's early enough for Brittany and I compared to usual.

"I'm going to the gym and then meeting up with an old friend" Brittany states. "Are you just going to go to bed?" she asks.

"Most probably" I sigh. I don't want to but I am really tired so I probably should.

"I'll leave you to it then" Brittany smiles while standing up. "See you later" she smiles again before walking to the door.

"Bye" I reply just before she leaves. As soon as she does, I get changed and head to bed. I'm only sleeping for about an hour when I hear my phone ringing. Thinking its likely work, I quickly wake myself up and answer the phone. Unfortunately it isn't work so now I'm awake for no reason.

"Santana…hello?" Rachel questions on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah sorry, I'm here" I apologise. I hadn't even realised I had answered the phone when I was checking the caller ID.

"You sound sleepy, why are you sleepy?" Rachel asks, seemingly offended I'm still in bed.

"Maybe because I was sleeping" I smartly reply while rolling my eyes.

"Why are you still sleeping right now, it's the middle of the morning" she states.

"It's only 8am Rachel so it's hardly that late" I tell her. "Anyway, the reason I was sleeping is because I was working all through the night so I haven't slept since yesterday afternoon" I state.

"I don't think I could do night shoots" Rachel replies.

"Well some of us can't be choosy" I sigh. Ok so if I really didn't like it then I wouldn't do it but I do like the show a lot so I'm happy to put up with it. To be honest though, it is true I can't be too picky at the moment for roles so that is the main driving force.

"So when are you working next?" she asks curiously.

"I'm working tonight again hence the reason I'm trying to get some sleep" I say. "I don't need to be on set until 6pm though" I add.

"Good" Rachel says satisfied. "We can meet up now then and you can sleep in the afternoon" she states.

"Rachel, I live in LA remember. We can't just hang out all the time anymore" I point out.

"I am aware of that Santana, I'm really not that dense" Rachel says offended.

"Ok sorry" I laugh. I didn't mean to offend her but I don't know how we can suddenly meet up when she lives in New York.

"I'm in LA Santana doing a few things so I thought I could come over to hang out or we could grab coffee or something somewhere" Rachel suggests.

"You can come here then" I tell her because I'm not really in any position to go outside. I look and feel a mess right now. "You've got my address don't you?" I ask.

"I do so I'll be there soon" she replies.

"Ok see you soon" I say and then we both hang up. 10 minutes later there's a knock at the door so I go and answer it.

"Hey, how are you?" I say while giving Rachel a brief hug.

"You look like shit" she states as we pull out of the hug.

"Charming" I laugh as we walk to the living room.

"Sorry that sounded a lot harsher than I meant" she shakes her head. "I just meant you look tired and your hair is a mess not to mention your makeup."

"I'm not wearing any makeup, I took it all off before getting into bed" I frown.

"Oh…sorry" Rachel apologises.

"Anyway moving on, can I get you some coffee?" I offer.

"Do you have anything decaf?" she asks.

"I don't really but Britt has a few herbal teas I think that are decaffeinated" I reply with a shrug. If I need coffee, I need coffee not some decaf shit.

"No that's fine, I'll just have water" Rachel shakes her head.

"Look Rachel I know you don't like some of my decisions but there's no need to be immature. If you want some herbal tea then Brittany won't mind" I say. I really don't think Brittany is as petty as Rachel is right now.

"Fine I will take some herbal tea" Rachel sighs.

"Ok, I'll be back in a second" I say before leaving to sort out the drinks. As soon as it's done, I take them back through to the living room and we begin chatting.

"So I assume Miss Pierce isn't here right now" she states.

"How many times do I need to tell you to call her Brittany?" I ask shaking my head.

"She was my college dance teacher for only a short time but still a teacher of mine so she will always be known as that" Rachel tells me.

"So if your best friend married her, you'd still address her as that?" I question.

"Are you marrying her?" she asks raising a questioning eyebrow.

"No" I shake my head. "Not yet anyway."

"Well it's not relevant then is it" she states.

"Rachel, Brittany and I are really trying to make things work this time so we don't need any immaturity from third parties. I'd appreciate you respect my decision to be with the one person I love the most in this world" I say honestly.

"It's not that I don't respect it; I'm just confused. I mean you were supposed to marry Dani 4 months ago and were so sure she was the one and now look" she points out.

"Brittany is the one for me Rachel. I tried to pretend she wasn't for the sake of our careers but honestly, she's the only one I really love" I admit. I know what I did to Dani wasn't right but I really tried to make it right.

"So what is the deal with you and Brittany?" she asks.

"We're dating and getting to know each other again. Obviously the whole baby situation was really heart breaking so I'm trying to give Brittany some time to come to terms with it" I say. I was obviously sad about it but it was different for Brittany since she had this planned out before we got together.

"Isn't living together progressing too much?" Rachel wonders.

"Ordinarily it would be in a new relationship but Brittany and I already know each other plus the whole point of coming here was for a fresh start so there's no point wasting money by buying two places" I say. Eventually we would move in together so I don't see the issue right now.

"I suppose that's true" she says nodding in understanding.

After hanging out with Rachel for a while, she left and I went back to bed. I'm not really sure when Brittany got home but she woke me up at 4pm so I could have something to eat and to get ready for work.

* * *

I finally had a day off today so I spent it relaxing at home. Brittany on the other hand ended up having a meeting with someone she used to know through dancing so she was out for most of the day. It was to do with a job opportunity so she really couldn't cancel so we could hang out. I get it though because I haven't had much time to hang out with Brittany either so I don't mind. It's not ideal and it kinda sucks but I'm sure things will smooth over soon.

I'm currently just making dinner in the kitchen. I heard Brittany come through the door 10 minutes ago and she did shout hello but I haven't physically seen her since this morning. It's about another 10 minutes before Brittany appears but she's now dressed in more comfortable clothes than earlier.

"Hey" I smile as she walks into the room.

"Hi" she replies quietly.

"Are you ok?" I ask slightly confused. She seems kind of downbeat about something.

"Can we talk?" Brittany asks seriously, not exactly answering my question.

"Yeah of course" I nod. "Do you want to talk now, it's just I'm in the middle of making dinner so maybe we could talk once I'm done" I suggest.

"Ok that's fine" Brittany replies. "Do you want some help?"

"No it's ok, thank you" I smile. Even though I'm smiling right now, I don't feel as happy on the inside. Talking doesn't always end well with us and Brittany sounded really serious so I don't know what this is about but it's making me nervous.

As soon as I finish making dinner, I plate up the food and put it on the table. Brittany then gets us some drinks before we sit down together and begin eating.

"Dinner tastes great" Brittany says politely but she doesn't smile or anything. I'm getting a really weird vibe here and it's making me uncomfortable. We fought so hard to get back together and now I think it might be over.

"I'm glad you like it" I nod. Honestly that's the least of my worries whether she likes it or not but I can't be rude and completely ignore the compliment.

"So did you have a nice day off away from work?" she asks after a minute of silence.

"Yeah it was nice to relax for a little while" I reply. "What about you, did your day go ok?" I ask.

"It went really well actually" she nods. "I've got an audition for a guest spot in a TV show. It's like 2 or 3 episodes but it's better than nothing" she shrugs.

"It is and it'll get your foot in the door" I smile, happy that she's making some progress in her career. She wasn't too sure if she wanted to try acting or just concentrate on the hotel at the moment but at least she's getting somewhere until she decides. In my own selfish opinion though, I'm glad she's doing something here because the hotel is in New York so I don't want her to have to leave all the time.

"That's what I figured" she nods. Once we finish eating, we both clear up together before heading to the living room to sit down and relax.

"So you want to talk?" I say while sitting down next to her.

"Are we still together or dating or whatever it is?" Brittany asks bluntly.

"Well I want us to be, don't you?" I ask worriedly.

"Yeah of course I do but things have been weird lately. We're acting as if we're just friends living together or something" she points out. "I mean when was the last time we even hugged never mind kissed or anything like that?" she asks.

"I suppose it has been a while" I admit.

"I just feel we don't even act like we're together" Brittany sighs. "We've failed so much in the past that I finally thought we found a way to be together where we're both happy but so far it just feels like we're friends or something."

"I just didn't want to push you Britt but it didn't mean that I didn't want this because I do" I say honestly.

"Well so do I" she states. "I know it's been tough recently but the one thing I've been sure about is how much I want to be with you."

"That's good then, we're together" I smile while taking her hand in mine.

"Ok" she smiles happily.

"Come here" I smile while pulling her closer so I can kiss her. Just as the kiss begins to heat up, I pull away for a second to ask her something. "Do you want to step this up a gear?" I ask with a smirk. Usually I wouldn't just ask this, it would come naturally but we've never actually had sex since I cheated on Dani with her so this would be the first time in a long time. I just want to make sure she would be ok with it.

"Santana…I…" she says hesitantly. I can tell it's probably a no from the tone of her voice.

"It's fine, we really don't need to" I smile. As much as I want to be with her like that, I'm not going to get mad just because she doesn't want to. "If you're not ready then there's no need to rush" I assure her.

"It's not that because I am ready in a way" Brittany states. "I just can't right now, that's all" she says.

"That's cool, you're tired so we can just wait" I smile. I suppose it has been a bit of a long day for her today.

"It's not that either" she says while taking a deep breath before taking my hand in hers. "Look it's only been a week since I was at the doctor so I still have a few symptoms from the miscarriage so I kind of can't do anything right now if you follow what I'm saying" she says slightly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even think about that" I say feeling bad. The doctor did say the cramping and the bleeding could still be here just now until the miscarriage fully passes.

"Honestly you weren't to know because I didn't really say anything" she smiles. "I'd just obviously rather we didn't do anything until it's over."

"I totally get it, trust me" I say while reassuringly squeezing her hand.

"It's not just about the physical aspect though, it's like a reminder just now that I lost a baby and it doesn't make me feel good" she admits sadly.

"It's going to be ok" I say while pulling her into a hug. "Just take as much time as you need to and I'll be here for you the whole time. I love you so much Brittany."

"I love you too" she smiles.

* * *

Things between Brittany and I have been great the last few days. We've hung out a lot when we could and sometimes she would even drive me to work and pick me up again at the end of the day just so we could spend some more time together. Her audition for the guest role that she is going to isn't for another few days so she's been spending a lot of time at home doing stuff for the hotel and also meeting up with a few other contacts she has that might lead to more roles.

After we had dinner tonight, we decided to relax together on the couch and watch a movie. My interest in the movie quickly disappeared though when Brittany started to get a little handsy. I was slightly surprised at first but when she explained she had been feeling better the last day or two then I got it. We're sort of just lying there now looking at one another staring into the other's eyes.

"I'm not tired tonight" she smirks while gently caressing my side.

"Neither am I" I smile.

"Maybe we could…" she's cut off by my phone ringing.

"I would ignore it but it's probably work" I sigh while sitting up and grabbing my phone.

"That's ok" she smiles back. I know she doesn't like the interruption just as much as I don't but I do need to answer it.

"Hello" I say answering the phone. "What tonight?...I was just there this afternoon though...well I am kind of busy, yes…is there no way it can wait until the morning…ok fine" I sigh while shaking my head. "I'll see you in half an hour" I say before hanging up.

"It doesn't sound good" Brittany says.

"It's not, I need to go into work" I sigh. This night is well and truly spoiled.

"Ok" Brittany nods sadly.

"Us being on opposite shifts almost is really frustrating me at the moment" I admit.

"Me too but hopefully things will sort themselves out soon" Brittany replies optimistically. "If it helps though, I'll be waiting right here for you" she smiles.

"It does but goodness knows how long I'll be" I state. I really could be doing without this tonight and just having a quiet night with Brittany.

XXX

When I finally get back home after going into work, I quickly run inside and lock the door behind me. I am so excited to see Brittany again and to spend time with her. It hasn't even been that long but we're in such a good place now that even being apart for a few minutes makes me miss her.

As I walk in the room and over to Brittany, I notice she has fallen asleep on the couch. I really don't want to wake her up but I don't want her to wake up later and worry since she thinks I haven't come home yet.

"Britt?" I say softly while kneeling down at the side of the couch.

"Hmm" she says sleepily.

"I just wanted to let you know I'm back now" I smile.

"Ok" she says while sitting up and rubbing her eyes. "I'm awake now if you want to pick up where we left off" she smiles.

"As much as I really want to, it is late and I can tell you're tired honey. Why don't we just get some rest and can plan something romantic another night or something" I suggest and she nods. I mean it's not like I don't want to but I would like to just crawl into bed and sleep.

"We should get to bed then" she smiles.

"Yeah" I reply before taking her hand and pulling her up from the couch. "Goodnight then, I guess" I smile.

"Yeah, goodnight" she smiles back before leaning into kiss me. I kiss back before putting my arms around her to give her a hug.

* * *

Brittany and I have been so busy the last few days that we've barely had any time to spend together. It's not just because we miss each other but it also sucks because we're finally in a good place in our relationship so we want to make most of our happy time. I don't know how many times we've had to cancel plans because one of us has had to work.

I'm just in the kitchen making Brittany and I some breakfast when I feel a presence behind me and arms wrap around my waist. I smile instantly when Brittany leans close against me and kisses my cheek.

"Good morning" I say happily while momentarily looking at her before going back to making breakfast.

"Morning" Brittany replies just as happily as me.

"I'm just making us some scrambled eggs for breakfast, is that good for you?" I ask.

"Sounds good, yeah" she says while moving her hands slightly to sneak under my shirt where she gently caresses my stomach.

"You're distracting me Britt" I smile. I do like it but if she keeps doing what she's doing then we won't get any breakfast because I'll have ruined it.

"You know I like it when I distract you" she tells me while leaning down to place a few kisses on my neck.

"I usually like it too but we both have plans today so we can't afford to get side tracked" I state. I've got work soon and Brittany is meeting up with a few people to talk over some options for her.

"I suppose" she nods while gently kissing my head before moving away. "Hey do you want to go out for dinner tonight?" she asks.

"Oh I wish I could but we're working later again so goodness knows what time I will be home. It seems to be getting later and later each night" I say honestly.

"I thought you were starting early today?" she frowns in confusion.

"Yeah we are but it's a full day of filming we have so I could be there for at least 12 hours" I admit. "I promise we'll try and do something romantic and fun at the weekend" I say while walking over to peck her lips quickly.

"Ok" she smiles. After we finished breakfast, we both got ready and headed to work.

After 12 hours at work, I finally make my way home again. When I get inside I notice Brittany in the kitchen making something to eat which I'm super grateful for because I'm so hungry. I quickly throw my purse to the side and kick off my shoes before joining Brittany in the kitchen.

"Hi" I smile.

"Hey" she smiles back before kissing me.

"Please tell me you're making something for me to eat too?" I ask.

"Of course I am" Brittany nods. "It's nothing exciting though, just pasta" she shrugs.

"I don't care what it is, I just want food" I laugh.

"Ok" she smiles. As soon as the food is ready, we sit down together in the living room and eat. I don't waste any time with mine and I'm finished eating in no time.

"That was so good Britt" I say while putting my plate down.

"I'm surprised you could even savour the taste with how quickly you ate" she jokes.

"I was hungry" I shrug.

"You're so adorable" she smiles at me.

"Thanks" I smile back.

"Can I talk to you really quickly about something" she says while putting her plate down next to mine.

"Sure" I nod.

"You know how we talked about making things special and romantic and how we weren't going to rush into having sex" she says.

"Yeah" I reply while nodding again.

"Well as much as I want it to be special and mean something, I just don't think we should make it so specific. I mean we just can't seem to get the time these days so maybe we should just do it instead of waiting" Brittany says. "I think it's clear we both want this and we're not exactly new to it because we still hooked up now and again after we broke up."

"So what you just want to have sex right now?" I ask curiously.

"Don't you?" she replies.

"Hell yeah" I smile.

"What are we waiting for then, let's do it" she smiles back while grabbing my hand and leading me to my bedroom. It's no secret my bed is comfier than hers so I'm not surprised she took us there instead of her room.


	13. Connecting

Chapter 13: Connecting

"This is so weird but so good at the same time" I smile as we get onto the bed after undressing down to our underwear. "It's like I can't believe I'm lying next to you right now but it also feels right you know" I say. No disrespect to any of my exes but being with Brittany has always felt better than being with anyone else.

"I love you so much" she says while hovering over me. She smiles at me slightly before leaning down to kiss me. I gently move my hands to her back and pull her closer as I kiss her back.

"I love you too" I say as we momentarily pull away. Brittany sits back slightly and puts her hands to her back to unclasp her bra. "Let me" I say while placing my hands on top of hers.

"Ok" she says quietly with a smile. I gently remove her bra and then place my hands on her shoulders. I then slowly move them up so my hands are cupping her cheeks before kissing her. Brittany moves her hands to my back and unclasps my bra as she kisses me back. We then pull away for a second so I can remove my bra. "Lie back" she tells me so I do just that. She then begins kissing down my body before removing my panties. She sits back for a moment and just looks at me.

"What?" I ask slightly embarrassed. There's something a little weird about her just staring at me like that and it's making me feel self-conscious.

"You look different but I can't pinpoint why" she smiles.

"A bad different?" I ask concerned.

"No definitely not" she shakes her head.

"Ok so that means you can stop staring at me and get down here" I smile while pulling her closer to me so I can kiss her.

"Sorry but when you look as amazing as you do, I can't help but admire your body" she smiles before leaning back down to kiss me. She then moves away slightly and begins kissing a trail down my body. As soon as she gets close to my core, she moves away and kisses somewhere else to tease me.

"God Britt, I forgot how much you liked to tease me" I moan as she kisses a particularly sensitive spot. She doesn't verbally reply, she just looks up at me and smirks before continuing what she's doing. "Please" I say after a few minutes, almost begging.

"Please what?" she smirks.

"I really need you" I say before moving my own hand down my body.

"No, only I touch you" Brittany says while grabbing my hand, stopping me.

"Touch me where I need you then" I reply.

"All in good time babe" she smirks before leaning up to kiss me. She then kisses down my body again but this time stopping when she gets to my core.

"Shit" I moan as she finally pays attention to where I need her most. "That feels so good" I tell her as I tangle my hands in her hair, subconsciously pushing her head closer to me.

"You taste so good" she mutters while pulling away for a split second before diving back in. it really doesn't take long for my orgasm to hit. As it does, I feel my thighs pushing against her head and my fingers pull on her hair tightly.

"I have missed that so much" I say as I get my breath back.

"It wasn't my best work obviously" she says while moving back up the bed to lie next to me. "It wasn't the most exciting either but you seemed like you just needed me."

"I did" I nod. "It's been so long that I just needed some kind of release. I thought you did pretty well anyway because I don't just cum for anyone" I smile.

"No it was pretty sloppy and I didn't tease you for nearly as long as I wanted to" she says while wrapping her arms around me. "I didn't even kiss you as much as I wanted to either or pay attention to the areas you usually like being taken care of."

"I came didn't I?" I ask with a smile.

"Yeah but…"

"No buts, just lie back and let me take care of you" I smile while moving so I'm straddling her.

* * *

The next day

I'm just slowing waking up when I hear movement and feel a slight weight on me. I rub my eyes to waken up more before opening them. "This kind of wake up certainly hasn't happened in a while" I say smiling as Brittany sits straddling my lap.

"It hasn't, no" she smiles back.

"Are you tired?" I ask teasingly while rubbing her back gently.

"Not really and I'm not due in work any time soon" she smirks.

"I think it seems like a good time to have some fun then" I smile. "Do you want to pick up where we left off last night?" I ask.

"No I think we need to start right from the beginning again because we've been so out of practice lately. Last night was great but practice makes perfect, you know" she smirks.

"You're definitely right" I smile back.

After spending more time in bed than we probably should have, we both get up and quickly shower. Brittany makes us a quick breakfast and then we eat it on the way to ours cars. As much as I liked our time this morning, I can't afford to rush about like this before work again. I have forgotten half of the stuff I was supposed to take with me but never mind, I'll just need to wing it.

"Santana you're late" one of the crew members says to me shaking his head as I rush inside.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again" I apologise.

"It better not because we have too much we need to get through today" he states. "Ok everyone, places please. We need to get this scene down sooner rather than later."

XXX

I'm finally walking into my apartment building. I'm thankful the day went really quick and I wasn't too bored but at the same time, I feel like it's been ages since I last talked to Brittany. I was going to text her on my break and just check in but I barely even got a break. The only small amount of time I got was to get some water and to quickly have something to eat before we were back to filming more scenes. For being such a big cast you'd really think we'd all get a break while others are filming but it doesn't seem to work like that. It's like we're constantly shooting something or another. I mean I'm not complaining about getting work but it is getting really tiring.

"Hey you" Brittany smiles as soon as she sees me while wrapping her arms around me to hug me.

"Hi" I smile back. "How was your day?" I ask.

"Let's just say I missed you more than I ever had" she sighs. I'm guessing that means it was a pretty shit day.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call or even text you, we barely even got a break" I tell her as we pull out of the hug.

"Don't worry about it" she shakes her head. "I know it's a busy time for you" she smiles.

"Do you want something to eat or is it too late?" I ask.

"No I can eat something" she nods. We then make something to eat before sitting down together to catch up. "Why do you keep looking at me?" Brittany asks embarrassed.

"I'm sorry" I say snapping out my day dream. I've just missed Brittany a lot today that I find myself just gazing at her wondering how I got to be this happy again. There was a point I never thought I would be happy again and I finally am.

"Do I have food all over me or something" she says while wiping at her face.

"No, nothing like that" I smile. "I was just thinking how happy I am at the moment" I shrug.

"I'm really happy to" she smiles back. "I know it was just sex this morning but I feel like we're a lot closer now than we've been in the last few days and I like that" she admits.

"Me too" I nod in agreement. "Although I can't afford to be late for work again, they were not happy with me this morning" I state.

"Yeah I was a little late myself" Brittany shakes her head. "I blamed it on the traffic which I think they bought but nevertheless, we should be a little more careful" she says.

"I agree" I reply. Our careers are a big part of who we are and we like that about each other so the last thing we need is to upset anything good we've got going on like by turning up late to work etc.

* * *

Brittany's POV

Things between Santana and I have been great the last couple of months. After finally feeling like we were a couple again, we could get on with our normal lives. We were both busy with working on new TV shows but we still made the effort to put time aside for one another which was great. We also had a great Christmas together because our shows stopped for the holidays so Santana and I went back to New York to spend time with my family and we flew out her family so we all got to spend the holidays together. Unfortunately we were back hard at work by Santana's birthday where she turned 23 but I managed to make her a special dinner and since it was Friday, we managed to get the weekend off at work so we spent most of the Saturday together.

It's my birthday tomorrow but I'm not expecting a big fuss because it's a Thursday and we're both working. I would however like to at least have dinner with Santana or something so I'm hoping we both get finished at a reasonable time. I'm not able to see my parents either because they couldn't drop everything this week but they did fly out last week so we had an early celebratory dinner then and they brought me my birthday presents then as well.

"Hey babe" Santana says walking into the room. I didn't even hear her enter the apartment "Good day?" she asks while leaning down to kiss me.

"Not too bad a day actually" I smile. "You?" I ask. This is the first time I have seen Santana since this morning and we haven't had a lot of time to text each other at work so it feels like ages since we last spoke.

"Not the worst day but I am glad to be home now" she smiles back.

"I'm glad you're home too, I've missed you" I reply.

"Do you want me to get started on making some dinner?" she asks while sitting down and slipping her shoes off.

"No I can do that because you've been at work a lot longer than I have" I tell her. I've been home for a while now but Santana has just got in the door.

"Ok" she shrugs with a smile. "Let me know if you need some help."

"I will but it should be fine" I say before quickly kissing Santana and then making my way to the kitchen to get started on dinner. As soon as I'm finished making it, I get Santana and we sit down together and eat.

"Britt, can I talk to you about something?" Santana says breaking the silence between us. We were both so hungry that as soon as we sat down we just started eating our food, not really bothering to make conversation until we were somewhat replenished.

"Of course" I smile.

"Our relationship has been really good lately and we've been making lots of progress, don't you think?" she asks and I nod. "Ok good, we're on the same page then" she says satisfied.

"We definitely are" I smile again.

"So if I suggested you moved into my bedroom, what would you say?" she asks curiously.

"About time" I tease.

"I mean we live here together and we're doing well so I think we should live together properly you know where we share a room and stuff" she says with a shrug.

"I didn't want to rush you but I've wanted us to share a bedroom for a while plus we spend most nights in one of the beds together so we might as well make it official and sleep in the same room" I say.

"That's settled then" she smiles. "I could help you move your stuff into my room tonight and that way we can wake up together on your birthday tomorrow."

"Sounds good" I smile back. Once we're finished dinner and have cleared up, we get right to moving all my stuff into Santana's bedroom.

"I'm so excited about this" Santana says happily as she helps me fill up the closet with my clothes.

"Me too" I smile. "Um…what's that?" I ask curiously as I pick up a bag with my name on it.

"Never you mind what it is" Santana says while pouncing on me and taking the bag away from me. "I forgot I even put that in there" she says while hiding the bag under the bed.

"That's my birthday present isn't it?" I ask when the realisation hits.

"It might be" she shrugs.

"What did you get me?" I ask excitedly.

"You'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out" she smirks at me. "If you keep asking me about it though then you might not get it at all" she states.

"Ok, I'll let it go" I smile. We then go back to what we were doing before.

"Hey, what do you say we take a relaxing bath after this?" Santana suggests. "I could really do with some relaxing time with you."

"I'm cool with that" I smile.

XXX

As soon as we finished moving my things to Santana's bedroom, we got a few things ready for work tomorrow and then Santana started the bath for us. She lit some candles around the side and filled the tub with some relaxing oils. We then stripped off our clothes and got in.

"This is nice isn't it?" Santana says while tilting her head back to look at me since I'm sitting behind her with my arms around her.

"Yeah it really is" I agree.

"It's especially nice when you start massaging my shoulders" she tells me.

"Do you want me to keep going?" I ask. I hadn't really been planning on giving her a massage, I was just subconsciously doing it now and again as we talked.

"Yes please" she replies.

"Ok" I nod while beginning to gently massage her shoulders.

"So how do you feel about tomorrow?" she asks curiously.

"Ok I guess but it's just another birthday really" I shrug. I mean it's not that big of a deal to me anymore.

"Do you mind turning 27 already or has there been anything that you wanted to happen before you turned 27 but it hasn't happened?" Santana asks.

"If you had asked me last year on my birthday what I wanted to happen before my next one then I would have said getting you back" I say honestly. "Luckily enough it did happen so I'm not too bothered about turning 27 because my main goal was you and I have you now" I smile.

"I know it wasn't always obvious in the beginning but all I've ever wanted was to be with you again" she replies. "I'm so happy and grateful that we managed to work things out and give ourselves a second chance."

"Me too" I say while placing a kiss to Santana's shoulders.

"So are you happy with the way your career is going at the moment and just focusing on that or is there anything big that you want to happen?" Santana asks.

"I mean eventually I want us to get married and have children but I don't think we need to rush either of the two right now. I think just getting back to us is good for the moment" I admit.

"I definitely want marriage and kids in the future but I don't think now is quite right. I mean I almost got married to someone else 7 months ago so like you say, just being us should be the focus for the moment" Santana replies. I know before the miscarriage we were going to bring up a baby together but since we can plan it now then I agree that we should wait.

* * *

It's my 27th birthday today and I'm sort of having mixed feelings about it. I wasn't too bothered by it last night but now that it's actually here then I am getting a little annoyed about being 27. I'm really happy with where Santana and I are at in our relationship but a part of me does feel like maybe I should be more than just a girlfriend by now. Don't get me wrong, I don't need a proposal or anything like that. I just feel like I should have something to show by now for my 27 years and I don't really. I'm basically back to square one career wise so I feel like the last few years haven't been as successful as I hoped. I gave up my fulltime job teaching to follow my dreams as a dancer and here we are 5 years later and I'm not a dancer anymore. I've landed a guest spot on a TV show but as soon as that ends, what am I meant to do. I've barely done acting before so it's not like my phone is off the hook with opportunities and I can't see myself going back to dancing fulltime either.

"What is the birthday girl doing out of bed?" Santana asks looking over at me at the table while leaning against the doorframe.

"Just being old and depressing" I sigh while looking down at the coffee cup in my hand.

"You are not old and I very much doubt depressing either" Santana says while walking over to me and sitting down. "Britt, what's going on?" she asks.

"You're the only good thing in my life right now and as much as I love you more than anything, I don't want to just be your other half" I admit.

"Brittany you are more than just my partner" she says while putting her hand on top of mine. "You're an amazing dancer, you're a businesswoman and of recently an actress" she smiles.

"One job does not make me an actress" I sigh.

"Please stop being so hard on yourself, especially today" she tells me. "Opportunities will come up, I promise you. Your TV show just hasn't been brought out yet so no one has seen you act but as soon as the first episode airs you'll be getting calls left, right and centre."

"When we first started dating, I was just a boring dance teacher but then you made me realise I could do it professionally so I did" I shrug. "Look at me now though, I'm done and back to square one again. What if this new thing I'm doing takes me away from you and we breakup again?" I ask. I couldn't handle history repeating itself.

"We're not going to let it happen" Santana assures me.

"I part own a hotel in New York and we live in LA, we're kinda already part of the way there" I sigh.

"Look I'm not going to lie. As soon as we moved here and got back together, the whole hotel thing has terrified me" she admits. "I don't want to spend my life on the other side of the country from you but I can't make you give up something that you're clearly invested in."

"If you were me, what would you do?" I ask curiously.

"I'm not you so I don't want my opinion swaying yours. Whatever you want to do you should do" she states.

"That's the thing though, I don't actually know what I want. I just want someone to give me a plan and tell me how to handle things" I sigh. I don't actually feel one way or the other about things so I need help.

"Honestly, if it was me then I would sell my share in the hotel and start clean here. That could be by buying into a hotel around here or using the money to start a new career like in acting or something. You just have to find your true passion babe" she smiles. "Don't do any of what I said though if it's not what you want" she adds.

"Maybe I should just sell my part in the hotel for a start anyway and work on what to do thereafter" I say. It is the one thing I am sure I could live with and to be honest I'd rather be here in LA with Santana. If I want to invest in a hotel or whatever then I'll start afresh and do it here.

"You have to be sure it's what you want" Santana says.

"I'm definitely sure about the hotel" I nod. "Everything else I don't know about" I admit.

"Now it's your birthday so I'm sure you'll want a birthday kiss right now" she smiles while leaning in to kiss me.

"I want more than just a kiss" I mumble.

"There she is" Santana laughs.

"I'm sorry for being so down" I apologise. "It's just on my birthday I like to think I've done something in the last year you know and I don't feel this birthday is any different from my last one."

"You don't have to apologise baby" she shakes her head while putting her arm around me.

XXX

As soon as I was finished at work, I made my way straight home. I did text Santana to ask her when she might be finishing but I didn't get a reply. I figured she was just caught up filming so I didn't think too much of it so I was surprised to find her in the kitchen when I got home.

"Hey" I say as I drop my bag on the floor and walk over to her.

"Hi" she smiles while leaning in to kiss me.

"Didn't you get my text?" I ask curiously.

"I did but I deliberately didn't reply because I didn't want you to know I was home yet" she tells me. "I wanted this to be a surprise" she states.

"Wanted what to be a surprise?" I ask confused.

"This" she says while taking my hand and leading us to the living room. The floor is littered with rose petals and candles are illuminating the room.

"Wow, it looks so romantic in here" I say as I look around.

"I'm also making dinner for us" Santana smiles.

"You didn't need to do that babe because I know you've been busy at work" I reply. It's really thoughtful but she didn't have to do it because I know how exhausted she's been after long days filming.

"It's your birthday so I wanted to" she smiles again. "We haven't really been happy in a long time on your birthday so I wanted to do something special" she says. The last two of my birthdays we weren't together and the one before that was just before we broke up so things were difficult between us.

"Well I really appreciate it" I say before leaning in to steal a quick kiss.

"Dinner isn't quite ready yet so if you want to relax for a little bit then you can do that and I'll let you know when it's ready" she smiles.

"I might just freshen up actually" I nod. It was a hard day on set so I'm feeling kinda gross and sweaty at the minute.

"That's cool" Santana nods. "You do what you need to do and I'll go back to the kitchen" she smiles again before leaving. I then make my way to the bathroom to freshen up before going to the bedroom to change. I then head back to the kitchen to see Santana.

"I'm such a shitty girlfriend" I mumble as I wrap my arms around Santana from behind.

"Why's that?" she asks, turning her head slightly and frowning.

"Because I've been home for 15 minutes already and I haven't even complimented you on how beautiful you look" I reply. "You look really good in that dress, is it new?" I ask.

"Not that new but I don't think I've ever really wore it since we got back together" she shrugs. "Thanks for the compliment though" she smiles.

"I'm assuming you didn't wear it at work this morning so are you wearing it now for my benefit?" I ask curiously.

"It's my girlfriend's birthday so I wanted to dress up and look nice" she tells me. "If we are free at the weekend though then I want to take you out for dinner and do it properly because you only have one birthday a year so like I say, I want yours to be special."

"Honestly, all I really need for this birthday to be special is you" I smile. I know it sounds cheesy but I'm just so glad we're together again.

"Ok" Santana smiles back. She then finishes up dinner and we take it through to the other room to eat. "So what do you think of the food?" she asks looking at me as I take another bite.

"Really good" I smile. "In fact it's so good I demand you cook all our meals from now on since you're this talented" I grin.

"Nice try but no, that's not going to happen" she laughs. "We share chores and cooking equally but I will however always cook when it's your birthday or whatever" she tells me.

"Ok" I nod.

"Hey do you want some wine?" Santana asks. "I know we're both working tomorrow but we could afford one glass to toast your birthday."

"Sure" I smile.

"Ok, I'll be right back" she says while quickly getting up and going to the kitchen for some wine. She comes back a few minutes later with two glasses of wine in her hands.

"Thank you" I say as she hands me a glass.

"Let's make a toast" she smiles while sitting down. "Here's to a happy birthday to you and an amazing new future together" she says raising her glass.

"Here's to us" I smile while also raising my glass.

"Us" she smiles and then we clink our glasses together before taking a sip.

"I actually had a thought today at work" I say as we go back to eating. "I finish shooting this guest appearance in a few days so I thought maybe in the next week or so then we could go away together" I suggest.

"That could be fun" she smiles.

"I figured you would be finishing up soon so you'll have a bit of a break before you all need to promote the show so I thought we could go then" I say. "We can go somewhere far away or we can just have a weekend somewhere here" I tell her. I'm happy to go anywhere as long as I can get to spend time with just Santana and relax.

"We've never really had a proper vacation together just the two of us so I think I'd like to go somewhere away from here" Santana replies. "The only thing is I don't know where we could go that would have decent deals at such short notice" she points out.

"We can think about it then. Maybe even take some time at the weekend together to look at some places online" I suggest.

"Yeah we should definitely do that" Santana nods in agreement. Once we finish dinner, Santana was insistent that she would clear up but I helped her anyway because I wanted us to have some time together now so the quicker we got cleared up the better.

"So I think its present time now" I smile brightly as we sit down in the living room together again.

"Oh you do?" Santana smirks.

"It's been my birthday for hours and hours now and you still haven't gave me a present" I tell her.

"Yeah maybe you're right, maybe it is present time now" she smiles. "I'll be back in two seconds" she says before leaving the room to go and get my present. She then walks back in with her hands behind her back.

"I'm so excited" I say gleefully while trying to sit at peace even though I can't.

"Don't get too excited because it's nothing extraordinary" she tells me. "You know how much I suck at buying presents."

"Anything you give me is amazing. Just knowing you have got me something is exciting in the first place because whatever you give me always has a special meaning" I smile.

"Ok well here you go" she smiles back while hanging me a bag full of wrapped gifts. I don't waste any time in getting them all open.

"Last but not least" I say while beginning to open the last gift.

"This is the best one I would say" she smiles. That gives me an extra incentive to open this one a lot quicker. Not that I was messing around anyway but still.

"Oh that's cute" I smile as I open the box to reveal a necklace with a love-heart pendant on it.

"The charm itself actually opens up" she says while gently opening it up. "It's just a picture of me right now" she laughs, "but you can put any small picture in it."

"I like the picture of you in it" I smile.

"I figured if you ever have a bad day or get really down about something then you just need to look at the charm and it'll cheer you up. I mean whether you keep the picture of me in it or not, you'll always know the necklace is from me so it's like I'll always be with you in a way" she smiles.

"I like that idea" I tell her.

"If you are worried about things you can still come to me though. I know it's difficult for you just now because you don't know what the next step is career wise but we can't let things get out of control like last time" she says.

"I agree, 100%" I smile. "I mean whatever happens will happen, I just need to focus on the good things, one of which is being with you."

"Yeah" she smiles before kissing me.


	14. Jealousy

Chapter 14: Jealousy

Brittany and I have just got back from an amazing weekend away together. It was really nice just being together just the two of us without any distractions. We decided on only going away for the weekend though and we'd go on a proper vacation in a few months as soon as we take a break from our TV shows. We have finished filming them for the moment but we've got a lot of promoting to do in the next few weeks so once all that settles down we'll take a longer break. The hope is to have a break away together and come back to film the rest of the season of our shows but we won't know if they get picked up for a while yet.

Today I'm currently promoting my new show with some of my fellow cast members. We're doing a television appearance today and then we've got a radio interview tomorrow and then next week we do even more things to get the show out there.

"So it's a new show and none of you knew each other before but you all look so close now. Are you all quite a close knit group?" the female host asks.

"You could say that" I reply.

"We've kind of had to be with the amount of hours we work" David, a fellow cast member, laughs. "We spend many hours together a day so sometimes there's days where they're the only people I'll see because we've been there for so long."

"What about romances then, are there any on set romances brewing since you're all so close?" the male host asks. None of us really answer because we don't quite know what to say.

"What about you two because it seems you two get quite close in the show?" the woman asks looking at Adam and I.

"No we just play a couple on the show" I shake my head.

"Yeah I'm not her type anyway" Adam states.

"Yeah I don't date men" I smirk.

"Oh I see" the man nods.

"I'm taken anyways though so it doesn't matter one way or another" I say, smiling at the thought of Brittany.

"Does she mind how close you get with Adam on the show?" the female host asks.

"I don't suppose she loves it all that much but at the end of the day there's never going to be an attraction between Adam and me" I say with a shrug.

"Thanks very much" Adam laughs.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that" I laugh. "I just mean because I'm a lesbian then she knows she's got nothing to worry about" I say honestly.

"Ok" the woman nods.

"So no one else has built up a close bond with anyone?" the man asks.

"I mean we're all close, maybe some of us in different ways but no there's no romances on set" David replies.

"Never say never though" Ashley says laughing while looking at Adam. As soon as the interview is done, we all leave the building together. Adam and I are just walking out together talking about something when I suddenly see someone straight in front of me but not directly facing me.

"Oh my god" I say in complete shock.

"What's wrong?" Adam asks concerned, looking at me.

"My ex is right over there" I say shaking my head. We clearly didn't leave things in the best way so I don't know if I should speak to her or try to sneak past.

"What are you going to do?" he asks curiously.

"I don't know because she's practically blocking the entrance to where the cars are so I don't know if I'll get past without her noticing me" I admit.

"Maybe you should just talk to her then" Adam shrugs.

"I don't know if I can do that either though because we didn't leave things in a good place so I don't really want anything to kick off or anything like that" I tell him.

"If you do speak to her today then maybe you could clear the air and if you run into her again then there won't be any awkwardness" he states. I guess he has a point but am I really psyched up for this right now. She could easily still hate me after everything I have done so I don't know if I want an argument in the middle of a public place.

"I really don't know what to do for the best" I groan.

"Just talk to her and get it over with" Adam says shrugging.

"Ok" I nod before taking a deep breath to prepare myself. I then slowly make my way over to Dani while Adam goes over to the rest of our cast to talk to them.

"Dani" I say nervously causing her to turn around.

"Santana" Dani replies in shock.

"Hi" I say. I don't know what else I'm supposed to say right now.

"I'll catch up with you tomorrow, ok?" she says to the girl she was just talking to. The girl nods and then leaves so it's just Dani and I.

"I didn't know whether I should try to slip past without you noticing or just speak to you" I admit. "I decided though that we should try to be mature about things because we don't want to have to avoid each other all the time" I say.

"It's a big country, I think we would be fine" Dani states.

"Does that mean you would rather we did avoid each other?" I ask.

"I don't know Santana" Dani sighs.

"Look I don't have to be anywhere in particular now so why don't we get coffee somewhere and talk?" I suggest.

"Ok" she nods. We then get a cab and head to the coffee shop just around the corner from my apartment. Once we get our orders, we take a seat by the window.

"So do you live here in California permanently now?" Dani wonders.

"Yeah, I do" I nod. "New York was great but I didn't feel I was getting the same opportunities there anymore and I wanted a fresh start. Plus it was Brittany who told me about the job in California so I decided to just go for it and see what happens."

"You and Brittany are together now aren't you?" she asks sadly.

"Um…yeah" I nod. "I really am sorry for the way I treated you. You didn't deserve what I did and I hope you know I didn't do it because of you. Brittany and I have a lot of history and I shouldn't have brought you into our mess."

"You don't need to explain anymore about it because it's been a long time since we broke up" Dani shakes her head.

"I just don't want you to think it was something you did because it wasn't. No matter who I was with, I probably would have done the same thing unfortunately" I admit. I'm not proud of saying it but it's true. I think I was always going to hurt whoever I was with that wasn't Brittany.

"The way you feel about Brittany is probably the way I felt about you" Dani shrugs.

"I am so sorry" I apologise. I have got her into this mess and it could have been easily avoided.

"I do wish you and Brittany well but I can't lie, it is still painful for me" she admits. "I am trying so hard to move on but it's just not happening quickly enough so I think this should be the last time we talk."

"I understand that" I say because I do understand. She's not going to be able to move on if she sees me all the time and things like that. Not that we probably would have become friends but in general, it's probably best we try to keep ourselves as far away as we can.

"I'm sort of living all over the place at the moment so it shouldn't be too big of an issue but if I do see you and avoid you then it's not because I'm being immature. I just can't be associated with anything to do with you" she tells me.

"That's totally fine. I just wanted to talk to you today to know where we stand and make sure you know it wasn't a personal thing. I mean yes I personally hurt you but if wasn't because of who you are. It was because of who I am" I reply.

"I should probably go now but thanks for the coffee" Dani smiles slightly while standing up.

"No problem" I smile back. She then leaves and I leave a moment later once I'm finished my coffee. I then make my way straight back to the apartment. "Hey Britt" I say walking into the living room where Brittany currently is.

"Hi honey" Brittany smiles. "How was your day?" she asks.

"Not as bad as I thought it would be actually" I reply. "It was really fun to finally get to talk about the show because we've been so secretive when we've been filming recently" I tell her. A few people in the media knew there was a new show in the works but what it was about hadn't actually been confirmed until recently.

"I'm glad you had fun" she smiles. "Although I'm sorry babe because I didn't actually get to see it live on TV" she apologises.

"You didn't?" I ask surprised. She told me she was going to watch it. "You said you would watch me because I've never really had a proper TV interview before about my projects and I'm quite an important character in the show" I say sadly. I've only ever did guest spots or some theatre work or just been used for a singing part so I've never been cast properly in a TV show before so this was a big thing for me being a part of the cast and promoting the show.

"I really am sorry that I missed it" she says genuinely. "Something really important came up so I had to deal with it so I'm actually just home now."

"What were you doing?" I ask. I don't mean to be rude but it better be super important because she promised me she would watch the interview today.

"My lawyer wanted to go over a few details because there's someone that wants to buy my share of the hotel in New York so things might be sorted quicker than I thought" Brittany replies.

"Oh really?" I say surprised. Even though Brittany wanted to sell her part in the hotel since we live in LA fulltime, I never expected everything to move this fast.

"Yeah and I figured there's no point in waiting around if I don't have to. I want things sorted as soon as it can be so we can finally live here together without me flying to New York all the time" she says.

"I totally get that so I don't mind that you missed the interview now" I smile. The whole point in selling the hotel was for us so I don't mind that she missed the interview if she was doing something that benefits us. I mean with Brittany travelling back and forth all the time then things were getting a bit hard for us because with the TV show and everything then we barely saw each other.

"If they replay the interview then I guarantee you I will be the first one to view it" she smiles.

"Ok, good" I smile back.

"So I don't have many plans for the rest of the day so can I temp you to some afternoon fun?" she smirks while patting the empty space next to her on the couch.

"You certainly can" I wink before sitting down next to her.

"No point in wasting any time is there" she says while taking her shirt off and throwing it to the floor. She then moves in closer to me and wraps her arms around me.

* * *

Brittany and I are just lying in bed relaxing together. We've both got the day off so we're not in any rush to get up. There are a few chores I should probably do but I don't want to waste my free time with Brittany by vacuuming and doing laundry. With the way Brittany is cuddled into me with her arms tightly around me then I would say she doesn't want to be doing chores either.

"Hey I'm going to the premiere of the new show I'm in next week and I was wondering if you'd maybe like to go too?" I say nervously.

"Of course I want to go" Brittany say looking up and smiling at me. "I love going to premieres and stuff" she adds.

"I mean like as my date" I reply nervously. We've never actually discussed what we think about going public with our relationship. I mean all our friends and family know we're together but going to this premiere is obviously a lot more public especially when Brittany is known to a lot of people. I don't mean this from a lesbian point of view because everyone knows Brittany and I are both attracted to girls. I mean this as in the fact we're two public figures who are dating so news will travel fast and Dani will probably find out.

"I would love to go as your date but are we sure we want this" Brittany replies.

"Honestly I don't want to waste any more time, I just want to be with you and have a normal relationship where we can go and support each other" I admit.

"Let's do it then" she smiles while leaning up to kiss me.

XXX

After spending most of the day relaxing, Brittany and I decided to do something fun tonight so we're going out with some friends to just let our hair down and have some fun. I've not really got much else on at the moment apart from promoting the TV show so Brittany and I have some free time now so we thought it would be nice to catch up with our friends. Some of our friends were working though so we're not going out to dinner, we're just going to head straight out for some drinks. I'm currently just doing my makeup in the bathroom mirror when I'm interrupted.

"Hey honey?" Brittany whispers while tapping my shoulder.

"Yeah?" I turn around.

"Here's some tissues just in case you drink too much tonight and get a little teary" she says handing me the packet of tissues.

"I don't think I'll need those but thank you" I say with a smile.

"You used to always cry when you got drunk" Brittany says.

"I know but I can handle alcohol better now so I very rarely get drunk. I know my limits" I smile again.

"Danielle got you on a tight leash has she?" Brittany smirks.

"Excuse me?" I say confused.

"You and your girlfriend Dani are all over the internet" Brittany states. "Apparently you had a cosy coffee date the other day together and were seen exchanging loving looks" she shrugs.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I ask confused before it suddenly dawns on me what it could be.

"Listen to this headline, 'Is this Santana Lopez's girlfriend?'. It then has a picture of Dani and then goes on to detail all about your date the other day" she replies.

"Ok so I did run into Dani and I was…"

"There's also a beautiful picture of the two of you together" she states, interrupting me.

"You can't seriously be jealous because of some stupid article" I say looking at the picture.

"That alone isn't what bothers me, what does is the fact you clearly have been seeing Dani and I didn't know a thing about it. Didn't you think that your actual girlfriend might like to know about secret dates with your ex" Brittany replies annoyed.

"It's not as big as the internet is making out and honestly it just slipped my mind" I say genuinely. I really never meant to keep it from Brittany. I honestly did forget because I was going to talk to her about it but then I got home and we got to talking about the hotel and ended up in bed together so it completely slipped my mind.

"How many times have you met up?" she asks curiously.

"I spoke to her once and it wasn't like we arranged it. We ran into each other and I felt like maybe we could clear the air so we went for a quick coffee" I reply. "I don't plan on seeing her again so you have nothing to worry about" I assure her.

"Ok" she nods.

"You don't seem satisfied with my answer" I point out. "Why are you so worried or jealous about this babe?" I ask.

"Because she's your ex and you are known to get back together with an ex so I can't help but be apprehensive" she admits.

"The ex I got back with is clearly yourself but I don't make a habit of switching between exes. You and I are for keeps and the reason we can get back together is because we're meant to be together as you very well know. Dani and I are completely over, I can assure you" I say honestly. I won't lie the articles on the internet don't look great and they do make it look worse than it is so I'm not mad that Brittany is concerned.

"Can you tell me please if you ever run into her again like that?" she asks.

"Of course" I smile. "Honestly, I was going to tell you but I got distracted and then forgot. It wasn't even a big deal that's why it was so easy to forget to say."

"Ok" she nods, satisfied.

"FYI, Dani never told me what to do when we were together. I tell myself what I can and can't do. I didn't need my girlfriend to do that for me" I reply.

"I used to like it when you told me what to do and what not to do" Brittany smirks.

"Oh you did, did you?" I smile.

"You had me on a super tight leash but it was sexy" Brittany smiles smugly.

"Fine. I demand you go and get ready right now otherwise we're going to be late" I say while gently hitting her ass.

"Ok" she smiles before going to finish getting ready.

As soon as we're both ready, we head out to the first bar that we're meeting our friends at. We're just starting off easy having a drink or two in a quiet bar and then maybe later we'll hit up some clubs and really have fun.

"Britt, go and get us some drinks please. I'll have red wine" I tell Brittany as we arrive at the table our friends are sitting at.

"Ok" Brittany smiles before going over to the bar.

"I see you're still as bossy as ever to Brittany" Quinn laughs.

"It's deliberate because she likes it like that" I shrug.

"I'm sorta regretting I made that observation now" Quinn states.

"Yeah I am too" Mercedes laughs.

* * *

Brittany and I are just leaving the car to head into the premiere of my new show. We just hit the entrance to the place when she pulls me close and then dips me back before leaning over to kiss me passionately. She then pulls me back up so I'm standing up properly again. I must say that took me a little by surprise there so I'm slightly flustered at the minute. It was unexpected but sorta sexy.

"Let's see what the internet think of that" Brittany smiles smugly while wiping her lips with her finger.

"Dani and I talking is really still bugging you isn't it?" I ask amused. It is so cute how jealous she is getting.

"No it's not you talking because you can talk to who you want. It's the way everyone is reacting and saying that's your girlfriend. I'm your girlfriend and people need to know that" she shrugs.

"Oh they need to do they?" I smirk.

"You wouldn't be so amused if the shoe was on the other foot and this was about my ex" she states.

"I don't think I would make it into such a big deal like you have" I say teasingly while smirking at her. Ok so I might not be that happy about it but the main thing is that I know Brittany and I are good now so nothing can get in the way of that.

"I'm not making it into a big deal" she shrugs.

"Ok" I nod before we make our way over to the line of interviewers who are interviewing the cast before we go inside.

"I'm just going to quickly use the bathroom before we go inside so do you want to wait for me or shall I just come and find you?" Brittany asks.

"I'll make a start answering the questions so just come and find me" I smile.

"Ok" Brittany nods before going off to the bathroom. I then make my way over to the first person I'm told to talk to about the show.

"So Santana I know you're one of the main characters in the show but is there anything at all you can tell me about your character?" the interviewer asks.

"Not really" I laugh. "I don't want to give too much away because I want people to judge for themselves and have their own opinion when they first see me."

"That's fair" the interviewer nods. "So you're all getting a private viewing of the pilot tonight so are you looking forward to seeing that?"

"Of course, yeah. I've seen bits and pieces during filming but I haven't seen it altogether so it'll be nice to see how it all turned out" I reply.

"I think everyone is excited to see it" the interviewer smiles. "So who have you brought with you tonight?" the woman asks.

"I brought my girlfriend" I smile. "She's currently at the bathroom though, hence the reason I'm standing here alone" I laugh.

"Well it was nice talking to you Santana, I hope you have a good night" the woman smiles.

"Thank you" I smile back before moving onto interviewer. A few minutes later, Brittany joins me again.

"So how has your red carpet experience been so far?" the man who is interviewing me asks.

"It's been good, it's been fun to see so many people come out and support our show" I say honestly.

"So who is this young lady you are with here, are you in the show?" he asks turning to look at Brittany.

"I'm not, no" Brittany smiles.

"She should be though" I smile. "She's super talented" I add.

"Maybe you need to have a word with your crew then and have her in the show" he states.

"Totally" I nod. "Anyway this is Brittany, my girlfriend" I say while putting my arm around Brittany's waist.

"Isn't your girlfriend that other lady you were pictured with the other day?" he asks confused.

"No definitely not" I shake my head. "That is actually my ex and we bumped into one another the other day so people put two and two together and came up with that" I shrug.

"For sure though, I'm the girlfriend" Brittany states while putting her arms around me.

"So how long have you been together?" he asks curiously.

"A while" I reply.

"We did take a break so we only got back together about 6 months ago or something" Brittany adds.

"Yes and in that time I dated Dani" I shrug.

"Oh I see" he nods in understanding. "So what is it you do Brittany because you seem familiar to me but I can't place where I have seen you before?"

"Yeah I'm not much of an actress, I've had a few guest spots here and there but I'm actually…"

"She's an amazing professional dancer" I say cutting Brittany off. "She's thinking of moving into acting now though so watch out because you'll see her on TV soon" I say smiling as I look into the camera. We're here for my show tonight but there's no harm in letting everyone know about Britt.

"Oh I know who you are now" the man says as the realisation hits. "Anyway, have a good night ladies" he smiles.

"We will, thank you" I smile back before we move onto the next interviewer.

* * *

Brittany's POV

"Brittany Pierce stop what you're doing right now" Santana says while rushing over to me.

"I can't" I say through a moan.

"I don't want any hands but mine down there so stop what you're doing" she states seriously.

"I'm too close to stop" I admit, trying to hold back another moan.

"Let me do it then" she says before dropping her things and leaning down to kiss me. She then slowly slides her hand down past the waistband of my sweats and replaces my hand with hers. It really doesn't take me long to climax and I'm cumming all over Santana's hand.

"Thanks" I say, smiling goofily when I get my breath back.

"It was very sexy babe but I think I should be involved from now on" Santana smiles.

"I did want you to be tonight but I honestly couldn't wait" I admit, slightly embarrassed. "I just couldn't take it anymore, I was so sexually frustrated today."

"Oh" Santana says surprised. "I'm sorry that we haven't been able to get much time together recently but with us both back at work then our schedules aren't really coinciding."

"Babe you don't need to apologise because I was ok with waiting until we had time but after today, I just couldn't control myself" I say.

"Why, what happened today?" she asks curiously.

"I walked in on you in the shower this morning but I was already late for work so I had to just leave without joining you. That's what started everything because I had been feeling kinda horny since then but I managed to put it to the back of my mind at work. Then when I went to the gym, I saw all these women working out and it reminded me of how sexy you look when you're working out so that didn't help how I felt. I managed to get home without doing anything but I was so exhausted from work and the gym that I fell asleep. The last straw was when I started dreaming about you so I just had to do something, I couldn't wait until you got home" I tell her.

"I see" Santana nods, following what I'm saying.

"It was you I was thinking about the whole time. If I'm completely honest I was imagining it was your hand and not my own" I admit.

"When we were apart, did you ever fantasise about me or like think about me when you were doing stuff?" Santana asks curiously.

"All the time" I reply quickly before regretting how quick I was when I see Santana's smug look across her face.

"Seriously, answer faster next time" she teases me.

"Did you?" I ask.

"Sometimes when I was alone I would but never when I was with someone else" she replies.

"Yeah, I know you did genuinely like Dani" I smile.

"You and I were always on another level though" Santana says honestly.

"Yeah. We did always connect more emotionally than we have with anyone else so I think that translated into anything we did" I say in agreement.

"So…since we're both here now then why don't we…" before she can even finish her sentence, I am kissing her deeply.


End file.
